need help turning a friend into a gf

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by evh, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. evh

    evh Active Member

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    fucked up situation...

    i have a friend, let's call her lauren. lauren doesn't like hooking up with her friends. i happened to get too close cause i liked her, got friendzoned.

    i know the theory, you have feelings for a friend like that and you have to be prepared to lose them as a friend.

    i said no problem, whatever. i have tons of other girls on my dick, i just wanna date this particular one.

    anyways, told her how i felt somewhat. hinted at it. told ehr i found her cute, soemtimes.. whatever.. i had to make a statement of interest because i've been her "bro" too long. basically i wound up not speaking to her for the next couple weeks because i had no interest in her after that. what she told me led me to believe i can't get what i want, so that's it. i'm cool with it. not gonna complain, not gonna cry, not gonna try and convince her to date me or hook up with me, that's pathetic. i said i understand and i said please dont try to talk to me, it's hard for me to be around you without feelign a certain way. so if you don't wanna contribute to that, then you'll understand. and believe me, i don't have a problem getting with girls. i'm good looking, awesome at conversation.. im great at the pick up. the relationship stuff is where i lack. i just dont know what to do after ive fucked them.

    anyways, couple of weeks go by and she's at a party im at. i don't say hi, don't speak to her, whatever. im not going out of my way to not talk to her... im just not going out of my way to talk.

    fast forward a couple hours and im about to leave... saying my good byes, she sees this. takes me outside. goes like this:

    her: are you really not gonna talk to me
    me: [shakes head]
    her: blah blah this is unfair blah blah
    her: blah blah you're unreasonable blah blah
    me: [keep making faces, not speaking]
    her: [goes back inside]

    by the way, my whole point of freezing her out with being friends with her was to show her im not fucking around, and to hopefully not see me as a "buddy".

    anyways, i thought about what just happened and decided i should apologize for being a doosh and just sitting there shaking my head instead of talking. i go back inside, bring her outside and the converstaion goes something like this:

    me: listen, the only reason i brought you out here was to apologize for not speaking and being a doosh
    her: alright but this is so unfair
    me: yeah, but you know how i feel. im sorry i cant help how i feel.
    her: so, that's it?
    me: yeah... i guess i'll see you later
    her: bye

    and i leave. i go to taco bell to eat, its close to 2 am at this point. i get a text on my phone that reads "you're being so unreasonable right now"

    i reply back with "im sorry you know how i feel. i dont udnerstand why you keep talking to me"

    i get back "i'll be home in 10 minutes. can i call you when i get home to talk about this?"

    i reply back with "no, i'd rather talk in person" (this was my test. if she said yes to this i was going in for it no matter what)

    she responds with "meet me at my house in 15 minutes"

    so i get there. we wind up talking for all of 5 minutes before making out. we're making out on a street by the way. we wound up taking a walk to talk and ended up sittign on some corner at 3 in the morning. anyways we're making out really seriously at this point, and finally we take another quick break. i wound up kissing her on and off about 9 different times for like 30 minutes.

    she says something about how "she doesn't know" and wants to like me that way, but doesn't. and how she's not sure what we are yet.

    i go it's alright, i don't need an answer now. i'll call you tomorrow.

    i go home. next day, i call her after shes doen with work and basically tell her im getting some ice cream, come with me. blows me off basically.

    a day or two goes by and i just had a talk with her. she basically told me that she wanted to save teh friendship and the only way she saw doing that was to kiss me. personally i think thats fucking bullshit, she was the one that pulled me out of the house that night and she was the one that agreed to seeing each other. that should have been fucking obvious at that point.

    i was upset about this at first, then i decided to say i wanna be able to talk to yuo, and say hello and just have fun. and decided to end the conversation on good terms leaving her like we're friends. my plan at this point is to be friendly with her when i see her, not call her, not text her, maybe leave facebook messages once in a while, whatever. hopefully some feelings will surface, if not, whatever. when i see her at another party i'll make a move and see what happens. that's my plan as of now.

    so now you know the situation, any advice on how to turn this girl into girlfriend, or atleast something? or is this just wayyyy too fucked up?
     
  2. metakone

    metakone New Member

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    If she's willing to kiss you to "save the friendship", I wonder what else she is willing to do.
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I don't see how you are not getting the point, which is she just doesn't want anything to do with you as a boyfriend. You don't sound like boyfriend material. In fact you sound really immature and douchey (which you even admitted). It sounds like you are just obsessed with getting this girl to change her mind on you because you can't have her.

    I'm torn on giving you advice because from reading your post is seems like once you had sex with this girl you would just toss her aside. She'd just be another nice girl who was convinced by a "good guy" that he really was into her, when really you'd fuck her and ruin whatever friendship you actually had.
     
  4. evh

    evh Active Member

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    no. i even explained to her that if she were just any other girl i had hooked up with, we wouldn't be having this conversation. i've known this girl for a long time and i was very, very close with her. i think she sees the situation how you see it. i'm just confused. i've never really found a girl that i really like. seriously only two. i've never had a girlfriend, i've just had sex with and hooked up with a lot of girls.

    help me.
     
  5. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    There's no way to TURN a friend into a girlfriend. There's no way to MAKE a girl like you. This girl does not want to be with you. It's as simple as that. It's not fair, but it's the truth.

    It's a privilege to be your friend, just like it's a privilege to date you. Actions have consequences. If she refuses to date you, what's her consequence? She loses your presence in her life. It sounds like she's refusing to respect your boundaries; why would you want to date someone like that?

    Don't be juvenile about it, just move on. Don't care. Don't put this girl on a pedestal. If you do, you're going to be miserable every time you see her.

    Take it from somebody who's been through something almost EXACTLY like this: just move on. You sound like a pathetic whiny little bitch in your post. You're better than that.
     
  6. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::bowdown:
     
  7. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    I know chicks tend to favor emotions over logic, but come on here... :ugh:
     
  8. evh

    evh Active Member

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    thats what i fuckin said. IT MAKES NO SENSE. i clearly even said to her i don't wanna have anything to do with you unless you change your mind. i can't be around you without wanting you.

    is that not clear? and then she hooks up with me... go fucking figure.
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's basically a cop out and her way of saying she just doesn't ultimately want him as more than a friend :dunno:
     
  10. evh

    evh Active Member

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    you sound like you know your stuff... (being serious, not sarcastic)
     
  11. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    GIRLS DON'T MAKE SENSE.
     
  12. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    That's because she's a girl. Girls think differently than boys.
     
  13. evh

    evh Active Member

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    when she calls or texts me asking to hang out or do something, or messages me... waht the fuck am i supposed to say? "go away."? obviously not..
     
  14. evh

    evh Active Member

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    oh, didn't know that. you a girl too or?
     
  15. metakone

    metakone New Member

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    lol your new av is freaky !
     
  16. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Ignore her calls.

    Ignore her texts.

    Whatever the fuck you do, don't say "go away"
     
  17. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    I'm a dude, bro.
     
  18. evh

    evh Active Member

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    so then explain to me why she would hook up with me.. in fact even basically initiate that.

    here's the kicker.
    -before i kissed her, i said the following, "you know where i stand, you know how i feel. i wanna kiss you, do you wanna kiss me?"
    -she says, "i don't know..."
    -i kiss her on the lips, then pull away a few inches and look into her eyes. she looks back in mine, does the triangle thing girls always do, and then we started making out hardcore.

    can you explain that to me? if she didn't wanna kiss me, why didn't she say no? why did she go with the kiss afterwards? why did she not say no, stop, anything. why did she say "i cant do this".

    that's why i'm confused.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's true. If you want insight on what a chick is thinking that is where I have the up on some of the guys. Her actions might not sound very logical (because they aren't), but it really does just sound like she doesn't have the best image of you as a potential bf. And like clash said....there's really no use in trying to convince her to like you. The best thing you can do is live your life as if she is just your friend that happens to be a girl. Let her see you with other chicks if you say they are so easy to obtain. She knows you like her now, so if she see's you with another girl her jealousy could spark feelings :dunno:
     
  20. evh

    evh Active Member

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    what about if she says hi when i see her? seriously i know how retarded this sounds, it's just i've never been in this position before. i have no problem with any other girls.
     
  21. evh

    evh Active Member

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    well that's what i'm gonna do. i'm going to continue gaming the other 5 girls i've been weighing my options with. i kinda put them on hold when all this happened. i felt kinda guilty almost talknig to them.
     
  22. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    STOP.
    You're approaching this logically. Don't approach it logically. There's no logic to it. It happened. That's all you need to know. You don't need to know why it happened or what her reasoning was. All you need to know is that she isn't into you romantically. Your next goal is to get over that fact. You need to move on, you need to deal with it. There is no rhyme or reason for anything that women do. Ever. The sooner you realize that, the happier you will be.

    Action-reaction is the name of the game. Trying to "figure her out" won't lead you anywhere. She acted, so how are you going to react? By clinging onto her and trying to convince her to love you? HAH!

    MOVE-the-fuck-ON
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Girls do things like that for completely different reasons than men do sometimes. If a guy is attracted to a woman then he's going to make out with her....The girl in question could've made out with you with a million thoughts running through her head. "Maybe I do like him more than a friend. Hmm, he's a good kisser. Wait, I don't want to ruin the friendship. I kind of like ______ more though." She is a human after all, maybe she just wanted to make out and wasn't thinking about your possible feelings, men do it all the time as well. Young girls are also really imprssionable and cave under peer pressure which can be deciving. You flat out saying "I'm going to kiss you" can make a girl curious and almost buckle under the idea.
     
  24. evh

    evh Active Member

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    gotchya. thank you for the advice.
     
  25. Jack Horner

    Jack Horner Guest

    Pretend like she's the annoying fat chick with the bad teeth that has a secret crush on you that sits in the back of your math class.

    Smile. Say hi. Keep walking. It will be awkward, but that's the only way to handle it.
     

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