SRS Need Help Sex Addiction

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by ADyingDevotion, Jul 7, 2004.

  1. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    Well after a year I have figured out I have a sex addiction. I dont know why it took me so long to figure out but I guess that isnt the problem now. Anyways whenever my girlfriend and I have nothing to do ie no where to go, no money to spend, friends are gone...I just suggest sex. Well all is grea I guess until after then she changes and kinda looks at me different. I admitted to her today that I think I have a problem and she agreed. I am just wondering what is the easiest way to get over this? I need help ot.
     
  2. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    well, if you really feel that your obsessive / compulsive behavior with sex is making your life unmanageable or unbearable to live, then you've done enough to qualify to seek help.

    http://www.sa.org
    http://www.slaafws.org/

    i recommend both of those. look through the literature. maybe you can give us some insight?
     
  3. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    Well, I read through both of those earlier actually, I think I just was hopeing someone on OT had the problem and could share with me how they got over it. I am going to Hawaii on July 28 for 2 weeks and I dont want to have an excessive amount of sex maybe once or twice a week at the most, so I want to try to train myself now thats three weeks of abstenence. Maybe if I just post my progress on ot it would help? I need to fix this before I screw up my relationship with this girl, I love her so much and I dont want to loose her to something as dumb as this.
     
  4. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    Don't do it for your girlfriend, do it for yourself.

    Not a lot of people have the courage to admit sexual addictions. My addictions were drug-related in nature but i show a lot of tendencies of a codependent love addict... :sad2:
     
  5. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    Yes, well I know this will be hard but in the end it will be best. I will update my progress as I go day by day. I hope I can do it.
     
  6. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    you can.
     
  7. You can do it. With on-going treatment, you'll succeed. A support system is critical. Having people who support you and understand will be the difference between succeeding and not. Your family doctor may be of some help as well.
     
  8. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    Thanks so much guys.
     
  9. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    **UPDATE**
    Day 1: All went well today I worked all day until 6pm but after that my girlfriend and I went out. We went to Target and went shopping, then we went out to dinner, and finnaly we rented a movie and went back to my house and watched it. I must say though the urge was killing me and I resisted as best I could, it was well worth it she was in such an awesome mood and I felt so much better. I hope it gets easier as time progresses.
     
  10. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    if you do some work on yourself and change things, it can get easier. just waiting it out though is not necessarily the key to freedom.
     
  11. Doing it alone is futile. Enter treatment and face the condition when you are ready and willing and you will succeed.
     
  12. milatobo

    milatobo Guest

    Let me pre-empt by apologizing for only having a handful of posts so far.....ive been blown away by OT so far. But i had a question for ADD. Im not up to speed on all of my addictions, but it was my understanding that a sexual addiction tended to be multiple partners, ie: at the bars every night scoring with another woman. I am certainly not saying anything neg or judgemental to ADD. Having been through recovery for many substances, I would hate for anyone to think less of me for it and I hope all works out for you. Just a little confused.
    Peace
     
  13. milatobo

    milatobo Guest

    I guess what im saying is, if you love the one oure with, is there "too much sex"?
     
  14. ADyingDevotion

    ADyingDevotion New Member

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    Their is too much sex, a relationship based on sex is not a good relationship. Communication between each other starts to fail, life gets to a point where you dont even want to go out to dinner, just want to have sex. I know it sounds crazy.
     
  15. Understandable. Addiction is addiction, and sexual addiction is not appropriate sexual intimacy. One you can manage, one you can not.
     
  16. milatobo

    milatobo Guest

    no no man, not crazy. My wife and i got to that point too. My addictive personality stems to every aspect of my life and i obsess about things i really enjoy. i completely understand, God has blessed me with a wonderful person to spend the rest of my life with and i would hate to screw that up. (no pun intended) Prayer and thanksgiving, man. Love is difficult to come by these days, and i pray that y'all make it through. Peace
     
  17. Neuman

    Neuman New Member

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    i dunt get it.....im 20....i think about sex alot...i masterbate almost daily....i have a gf i go to school with and we would have sex almost ever day....now we are on summer break away from eachother and we talk every day....still maintain a healthy relationship in my opinion.

    i have always thought that this is the age where we are supposed to be sexual! we are supposed to have fun ya know!

    ...but you think that having sex more then once or twice a week at age NINETEEN is a problem?

    sorry am i just beating a dead horse here? i guess i just ask these questions cause i have always thought/been told that being sexual...and wanting to have sex is ok/normal.
     
  18. Jagrmaister

    Jagrmaister New Member

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    I don't read you as a sex addict from your description. If you have nothing to do, then why not have sex? Not seeing the problem.
     
  19. Jagrmaister

    Jagrmaister New Member

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    Your girlfriend is the one having the problem if she has a problem with having sex more than once or twice a week. Hell, in my eyes, 1-2x a day isn't even a problem.
     
  20. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    i don't think any of you are qualified to judge what he feels is unhealthy or obsessive behavior. He is. If he comes looking for help, thats qualification enough.
     
  21. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Frequency doesn't determine sex addiction. You can pork your wife or pull your pud 5x/day if you want, and some people do.

    It becomes a problem when your sex becomes the primary focus of your life, and other aspects begin to suffer. For example, your job, your ability to earn money, your other relationships, blowing off parties because you'd prefer to wank, those are signs that your need for sex is magnified to unhealthy levels.

    If however, your life is reasonably well balanced and you're managing things quite well, there's nothing wrong with porking your pretty wife in the morning, afterwork, after dinner and 2X before going to sleep. Might want to cut down on the raw oysters though.

    Having read your case, I don't necessarily think you are a sexual compulsive. You should go to a therapist for evaluation, as you're obviously concerned.
     
  22. xxjad22xx

    xxjad22xx Guest

    Neuman: You say at your age you are supposed to be sexual and have fun. I just wanna say that a lot of people think that because that is what the world has taught them. That thinking is destructive, decietful, and wrong.

    Sex is a gift that God has given us to use within the bounds of marriage. If sex is used outside of marriage, it will destroy a relationship. Sex is the reason I broke up with my girlfriend (I will tell you about that some more if you wanna know). Sex is awesome, it is amazing, it is such a great experience and that is how God intended it! Hey man He did create it...There is a whole book in the Bible called SOng of Solomon that is alllll about how great sex is and how this guy waits until he is married and they are so horny that they dont even wait until the reception is over! yep, thats in the Bible man. Whether you are a Christian or not, it is definitley a good idea to take the advice on there because it is only meant to keep us from getting hurt (Ive found that out the hard way).

    Being sexual and having that desire is normal man, most def., but it's how we react on them that is dangerous and ultimately destructive. When people wait until they are married, they are doing more than just missing out on some temporary "fun", they are respecting their future spouses, they are saving themselves form so much heartache, and they are saving themselves from all kinds of emotions sex brings about.

    I know Im gonna get a lot of crap for all this but it is nothing shy of the truth. I have been addicted to pornography for 5 years and it has effected me in the way I view girls, it has affected me emotionally, and also socially. No matter what I couldn't escape it. I fought it so hard and sometimes I could go a whole day without masturbating, but that was rare...sound pathetic huh? I couldn't help it though man, I couldnt escape it. Lust was my drug and the adrenaline I got from jacking off was a nice quick fix. Or so I thought. 3 months ago I accepted Jesus as my Savior and since then I have experienced true satisfaction that porn can't come close to. No everything isnt perfect now and I am still struggling with lust. But I have gone months without it and I feel so alive because of it. Don't get me wrong, I didn't do it on my own. I gave my addiction all up to Jesus and asked him to take control of it because I just wasn't strong enough on my own, I admit that. Now I have true peace, true joy, true satisfaction and day by day I am overcoming all those years of images stored up in my mind. Everything in this world guys, everything that will make us "happy" is a lie. Too many of us are empty and being fed the things the world says will satisfy us. You know thats bull, I do. If you wanna know more about my addiction or my faith please feel free to IM on aim at jadakagotjenny or email me [email protected] I love you guys, peace.

    There are too many people who have been told by the world that sex is ok, just use a condom. Or sex is ok if it feels right. Or sex is ok because it shows how much you love them.

    Sex and love have nothing to do with eachother. Sex is more than an act, it is emotional and pyschological feelings too.
     
  23. xxjad22xx

    xxjad22xx Guest

    you know I think almost all guys struggle with it just none are man enough to admit it...
     
  24. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    I can deal with your previous post, but this is a judgement call that you're not really allowed to make (both as a poster in road to recovery AND as a christian). Keep it out of this forum.
     
  25. xxjad22xx

    xxjad22xx Guest

    I think I have every right to say that bro. I say that because that is what I've seen in my college and high school. A lot of people either are too afriad to admit it or don't know they are addicted because they have never tried to stop. I'm not trying to offend you, just sayin it how it is. If it does bother you that bad though I will take it down, just let me know.
     

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