Need Help I'm Confused vs. Girl Confused - LONG

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by skitcy, Dec 26, 2005.

  1. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Ok so I’ll start from the very beginning of all this mess I’ve gotten myself into. It started about the first week in December, I use an internet site to meet people the way it works you click yes to people you would like to meet but you don’t get to meet them unless they are browsing through pictures and click yes to you too. Anyways I used this site mostly just for trying to meet friends before I landed in college up in Vancouver; I had no intention of ever meeting or getting a girlfriend out of it. Sure it popped in my head here and there but I really had no want or need.

    Whenever you get a new match it emails you so I normally send them my msn name or whatever just to chat ect.. Well three weeks ago I start talking with this girl here is the situation. I’m 19 first year in college, she’s 17 and 11th Grade. Well we hit it off well on msn not in the sense the second I met her I was considering anything I mean just conversation flowed naturally easy and well. We talked every night for about a week for hours at least 2-3 hours and started to use our webcams at this point I find out she has an ex boyfriend of 1 year that she recently broke up with ( about a month and a half ). Well one night we were talking on msn about something crazy I really forget what and she brought up out of the blue “I’m starting to fall for someone I really don’t know and its kind of weird”.. Well long / awkward silence story short I asked her if it was me and she said yes. That night she gave me her phone number and wanted me to call so of course I did, from this point on we talked on the phone for the most part roughly 1-3 hours a night for a week. During one of the phone calls she had to go because she had a call waiting, I said goodnight and whatever and didn’t really matter.. Well it was her EX and she called me back and was all upset and stuff about how to get him to stop calling her and thinking about her and crap like that. I sorta hinted to a few things like maybe get a new boyfriend or whatever and she was saying she wasn’t just gonna go pick up some random dude ect.. at this time I’m finally considering asking this girl out. But I didn’t tell her this night I sorta just listened and told her whatever she did don’t go back with the EX mainly cause it just never works. Well we both went to sleep then she called back AGAIN. So we talk about random stuff and go to sleep for good that night.

    I finally met her that weekend ( 2 weeks after we met online ) it was short and at her work so we didn’t do anything but talk really.. I was gonna give her a hug but not infront of her co workers.. I felt it went ok and well it obviously spells out a few things you don’t get in meeting online, she wasn’t as good looking as I thought but it didn’t really bother me.. what she thought of me I have no idea.

    We talked on the phone every night for another week, I finally asked her out and she said maybe but didn’t know if she’d be able to before I left for the holidays because she had a pretty busy schedule ect.. Well come closer to Last Monday when I had asked her on the date I sorta asked if she really wanted to go or not and just be straight with me if she’s not interested just say so cause I don’t want my head getting played with here. She gave me the she didn’t really know, has feelings for me, but isn’t ready for another boyfriend for atleast a month and was scared in dating me if it got serious since I’m not from Canada me moving away and stuff. I didn’t say much I wasn’t going to try and make myself sound like god in that situation, well she asked me to so I basically told her if I had met anyone really important in my life I’d probably not leave then whether it be you or someone else.. And my chances of getting a job in Vancouver after a year or two of school is decent after that I left it open ..Well I left for the holidays and we’re still talking on the phone easily just like before nothing awkward or anything.

    Other information, she’s talked to her friends and mom about me a lot.. I mean her mom knows who my dad is and she’s talked to my dad on msn as well ( she wanted to… ) I know all her friends now for the most part and they all know / have seen me ).

    CLIFFS:
    - Met girl online
    - Girl says she likes me ( before we met in person )
    - Girl then says she isn’t ready for a boyfriend after we meet in person but we still talk every night for hours…
    - Girls mom and friends all know me / my background basically a lot about me yet I’ve never met any of them except by the webcam.


    My question for offtopic is where should I stand on this, I’m thinking of just playing the friend after I get back and if something happens out of it then so be it.. or should I still ask her on that date or completely drop everything all together?
     
  2. Scuba

    Scuba New Member

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    just go ask her out on the date. nothing can really go bad. its just a date and itll let u get to know each other in person better.
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Honestly? I think she's too young for you. I mean, you'll be 2 years into college before she even graduates from HS at this point, there are some BIG maturity development issues there. I'd stick with trying to pick up girls that are already out of HS. A HS girl is just going to be a bunch of petty BS drama.
     
  4. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Ya I hear ya there.. I dunno like I said I was NEVER going in wanting something it just sorta happened but not really..

    To Scuba: hmm I already asked her on one date should I just refresh her memory and see if she still wants to do it?
     
  5. I Pwn Noobs

    I Pwn Noobs Guest

    maybe after she seen you in person she thought you were :barf: and that's why she "wants to wait to get in a relationship"
     
  6. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    Ya but why would that ensue us still talking on the phone for 2-3 hours a night and msn during the day? It just doesnt make sense....
     
  7. I Pwn Noobs

    I Pwn Noobs Guest

    she doesn't want to hurt your feelings and/or she enjoys talking to you:ugh:
     
  8. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    I think this is the same thing as all the previous "i met this girl and we became attracted to eachother and then i started talking to her every night and let her run all over me and now she doesn't feel the same anymore" threads. I'd say get out of the asking her for a date mentality and just try and be chill when you hang with her. You're putting way too much pressure on yourself and way too much emphasis on a girl you've met in person once.
     
  9. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    actual I figured all this crap out last night.. what a merry fucking christmas.

    It's the fact I guess she thinks I was "Rude and Mean" to her sometimes but at other times treated her like a "princess" and she didn't know what to get from it. I tried to ask her where the rude and mean comes from but she had no luck explaining it at all..

    Either way things are all fucked to hell and im running now.
     
  10. Wangan

    Wangan Zombie Drifter

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    Bro...i'm 19 years old and i'm seeing a 17 years old too...but we're both in ''college''...and she was interested in me when i went talking to her.
    Anyhow...we've known eachother for about 2 weeks and she thinks she found the soul mate she was looking for in me but she needs to thing about it (shes went in vacations with her parents) because like your girl she went out with a guy that wasn't respecting her feelings and shit...

    Let me tell you...girls don't make any senses...so its normal you don't get it...shes testing you.

    Just chill back and don't be a needy dude !
     
  11. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    You got friendzoned. And here is how you get friendzoned, with what you did wrong in (parenthesis) in my opinion:

    1. Talk every night for about a week for hours at least 2-3 hours (did not ask her on a date - instead acted like a girlfriend)
    2. I find out she has an ex boyfriend of 1 year that she recently broke up with (talked about ex's)
    3. She gave me her phone number and wanted me to call so of course I did (called right away; desperate - wait 4-5 days to call)
    4. We talked on the phone for the most part roughly 1-3 hours a night for a week. (girlfriends talk on the phone)
    5. During one of the phone calls she had to go because she had a call waiting (someone was more important than you; friendzoned.)
    6. It was her ex. She called me back and was all upset and stuff about how to get him to stop calling her and thinking about her and crap like that. (Now you are her therapist)
    7. I sorta hinted to a few things like maybe get a new boyfriend or whatever (Girls hint, men are straight forward.)
    8. We talked on the phone every night for another week (like girlfriends)
    9. I finally asked her out (about 4 weeks too late)
    10. She said maybe but [excuses] (excuses means "No." Take a hint.)
    11. She gave me the [excuses] (excuses mean "No" and you need to take a hint. Girls hint, men should be straight forward.)
    12. We’re still talking on the phone (like girlfriends)
    13. I’m thinking of just playing the friend (like a girlfriend.)

    You're friendzoned. Stop kissing up to her. Move on.
     
  12. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I can't say that I agree with all of that; you're promoting mindgames. Have you seen the movie "Hitch"? I just caught it again last night. In the end, the whole idea being promoted is that if you just be yourself, the right girl will come along. The biggest thing that people must develop is a sense of who they are as a person, and the ability to read people.
     
  13. dark cloud

    dark cloud New Member

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    They're not mindgames if there how shit really works. Most of what he did wrong was acting like a friend instead of a man, and changing that would definitely help him.

    The reason movies like Hitch can promote stuff like that and it end up working is because Hitch is just that - a movie. If you suck with women and you're yourself, you wont get jack.

    I would agree that people need to develop themselves though. Recently i've become very intrigued with self development and finding what I want out of life and how to get it. I've been researching NLP and self help stuff, it's really fascinating.
     
  14. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    My whole point was that you're making it sound like guys can't win unless they play into stereotypes; and some guys aren't willing to compromise what they really are in order to fit what society expects a "man" to act like. Now, I will grant that this causes two extremes, one is the man being a pig, and the other is a man being an eagle scout and never taking advantage of anyone for anything at all.

    Not always; While I do know that it takes a certain tactic to "get through the door," you can't play games through the entire relationship. You HAVE to be yourself to a certain degree.

    That it is; I always go by the saying that "you can't get help, if you don't help yourself."
     
  15. skitcy

    skitcy uhm title! ok

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    It's alright this thread shouldn't have been bumped more.. and for everyones information I found out I wasn't getting friendzoned, more or less everything fit for both of us except distance. I was willing to take the risk but she wasn't and really I respect her for that cause it would've been hard.

    Me being college full time even in the summer when she is free and only getting to see her on weekends wouldn't be fair and well things probably would've gone south.

    We still talk and we are " close friends ".. she still wants to hang out and stuff.

    Call it friendzoned but we talked it all out long and hard stylend I know it wasn't.
     
  16. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Well, sure, maybe everything isn't right, this is not an exact science really. However, I would have to say this is not playing mindgames. I've seen some mindgame related pick-up sites/advice and it's NOTHING like this. It's a lot more manipulative, has a whole heck of a lot less to do with finding a quality woman, and rarely promotes long term relationships.

    I would say I am promoting being MINDFUL of what you are doing and what signals it is sending to the people around you.

    Yeah, I saw Hitch. While I agree that the right girl will come along, I don't *exactly* agree with how they ended the movie. I mean, I understand, but at the same time it seems so ... contrived. I agree that you should always be yourself, but at the same time if you're a pathetic crying loser who acts like an immature prick then you're probably not going to find a wonderful woman. I believe in doing some self improvement and becoming more of a gentleman. I would expect you to be honest, fair, outgoing, up front, fun to be with, have respect, self-confidence, and stuff like that. I've seen guys who pick fights every time they go out and then wonder why their GF's dump them. Who wants to hang out with a prick like that all the time?

    And if you're overly-emotional or ignorant, like some of the characters Brendon Frazier plays in the movie Bedazzled, you may get the same results.

    If I could promote some advice, I would say you had to be well rounded and polite. And sometimes that means you have to change who you are - hopefully for the better. :)
     
  17. incubimmer

    incubimmer New Member

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    :rofl: internet dating
     
  18. panzerfaust

    panzerfaust New Member

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    :werd:, + internet advice + movies about dating + advice from virgins = you will never see real pussy in your life :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

    Dude, go outside of your house and ask somebody out.
     
  19. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    You do realize that YOU are giving internet advice, right?

    Not all of them are bad....

    :cjerk: truth be told, you're a virgin too, probably. Not to mention that being a virgin vs. not has NOTHING to do with whether a person knows how to get a girl to go on a date.

    Do you not have the capacity to think, dumbass? What about strip clubs, if nothing else :doh:

    :werd:
     

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