:need girl advice: stumped in this situation

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by dukedevil0, Jul 7, 2006.

  1. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

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    I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

    -Hung out alone together a few times (dinner, out to bars together, came over to watch world cup) and in a group with her friends sometimes when I see her out.

    -She called me late one night and asked if she'd see me at the bars later and I said yes, went out, didn't see her, called her, no answer, no return phone call. Next night see her out and she said she got too drunk to make it out...:squint:

    -Week later I call her and and see if she'd be going out, she said yes and again said let's meet up when we're out, went out, didn't see her, called her, no answer, no return call. :squint:

    -I pretty much write her off because of this flaky behavior and don't call her or anything.

    -A week has past and she just called and left a message saying she hasn't talked to me in awhile and wanted to see what I was up to tonight. I haven't called back.

    So the question is, what's my next move? When do I call her (If I call her) and what do I say?
     
  2. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    i say unless you have feelings for her, let her call you. or if you decide to call her, tell her the least she can do is let you know so you don't wait for her when you're out. if anything, i'd say you've been friend zoned
     
  3. kuno

    kuno .... OT Supporter

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    Sounds too flaky to put too much effort into this one. More than likely she'll be that way too if you even get into a relationship down the line.

    Call her up, tell her what you're doing. Make sure that you are actually doing this and have plans.. if she ends up flaking out again at least you're not waiting up for her.

    Then just write her off completely if she flakes out. If she wants to meet you let her meet up with you at a specific time, if she didn't make it in time just leave and do your own thing.
     
  4. blueNcream

    blueNcream win OT Supporter

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    Next move is work on you / grow a pair. You don't call her.

    After reading your play by play, I only have one thing to say to you:

    HERE BOY, FETCH!!

    But, since being stood up, and strung along qualifies her as the woman of your dreams, NEXT!! might be too tough of a move. Can you at least start gathering other phone numbers? Can you man up just a little?
     
  5. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

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    I'm very thankful that you replied and offered such constructive advice.

    "work on me", that is very detailed....grow a pair, that also is helpful considering you didn't point out any time when i was being a little bitch

    If you are going to post worthless shit stay out of these forums, you've been around long enough to realize that. :rolleyes:
     
  6. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

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    The other times I did have plans and wasn't sitting there alone waiting for her or anything, I was hanging out with friends and being social. It just bothers me when someone, even if they aren't interested in you, can't be courteous enough to atleast return a call. I mean, isn't that what friends do? Although I guess I've been that way to a couple girls before. :o
     
  7. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    After she stood you up the first time, did you give her any shit for it? As in, "Now you owe me for not holding up your end of the deal." or something like that.

    And, obviously, it appears that you never actually asked her on a date. "Let's hang out" is a great way to get friendzoned. Have you ever made your intentions clear? I can't tell if you just want to screw her or date her, but one way or the other you should make definate plans (time and place) and then see if she stands you up. Meeting at a bar "some time" isn't really getting stood up, at least not in my book.
     
  8. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

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    I don't really agree with "let's hang out" to go straight to friendzone, lot's of girls put up their defenses when you straight ask them out, but that's a different topic.

    When we went to dinner, I paid for her. Whether she saw it as a date initially is irrelevant in my opinion.

    I agree with me not getting stood up really, but more upset about her not answering or returning my call until a WEEK later. However, every time we've made definite plans she's been very good about keeping them.
     
  9. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    She doesn't seem like the defensive type.
    If she is calling you and getting so drunk that she can not meet you...AT A BAR, I wouldn't say defensive. I would say immature and wanting to have fun.

    Let me ask you this.......... How far have you gotten with this chick?
    Have you at least been swinging while up to the plate?

    If not, maybe you should.

    Second. Poco is right. Don't be afraid to demand respect. Even if you are just friends, demand that respect. If she makes plans to hang out with you or to meet you somewhere, ask her what the fuck is going on. Don't be afraid of a girl. Hell, tell her you will drive and that you are going to pick her up. This will make sure you know that she is holding up her bargain of the deal. You talk to her, you agree to go to the bar........go get her and take her. Another good thing to this is, if you are driving, she will be free to get as drunk as she wants.......and as you want her to get.

    There is nothing wrong with making a move after a girl has had a few. If she is passed out already, then maybe another time would be better.

    But demand the respect you deserve, even if it is only respect as a friend.
     
  10. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    So, um, how come you got friendzoned so fast? ;) Yes, women put up their defenses, but that's a "test" for you. How many guys do you think fail that test? Seems like you may have failed that test. I've heard hundreds of excuses from women, and the first thing I do is say "That's got to be the lamest excuse I have heard. Okay, maybe the second most lame, but still, if you are going to try and get rid of guys you really have to try harder! :lol: " It's meant as a challenge to your intrusion into her space, and you have to handle it like a 100 mph serve in a game of tennis - knock the shit out of it!

    You have to make your intentions clear. There are two ways (or maybe more) that a woman will look at you in this case. (1) You like her, and want to fuck her. You are buying her time (dinner) in exchange for sex. (2) You are a pathetic specimen of the human race and are paying her way because you are a sucker, and as a result you are not worthy of being her mate. She's a gold digger looking for a free meal and you're the sucker who will give it to her.

    You have to make your intentions clear. If you called her up and said "Hey, let's go on a date." do you think she knows what's up? Yeah, sure as shit she does. You just said "I'm single, you're going to be my date. I want to get to know you as MORE than friends." She can decline (giving you an excuse) if needed. If you just say "Hey, let's hang out" now you are either (1) gay (2) seeing someone (3) just trying to be friends (4) completely lacking confidence (5) not attracted to her (6) bored (7) lying to her because you really want to screw her brains out. Regardless, now she has NO clue what the hell you are all about. Christ, give the woman half a chance! Let her know what you want, it's mature - it's not some BS game. You like her, period. Go for it.

    If she likes you, she'll return the favor by showing you in how she gets dressed up for the date. Short skirt and stockings? Gee, she might like you! :mamoru: Sweat pants? Yeah, you're done. See how that works? You give her some signals, she returns the favor.

    All non-verbal.

    Then up the ante. Don't call her for TWO weeks. And shit, maybe be late for plans with her. Make her wait, see what happens. Make her wonder WTF is going on. ;)
     
  11. dukedevil0

    dukedevil0 Stop looking at me, swan.

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    now that is a goddamn reply! thanks poco & solus, i gotta read over this and i'll post again

    real quick though, how exactly do i demand respect here?
     

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