Need dating advice. Do I still have a chance with this girl i like?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by soccerbud, Apr 21, 2010.

  1. soccerbud

    soccerbud OT Supporter

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    Backstory:
    She invited me to hangout out together everyday for about 2 weeks. We would sometimes sit around and just chat for hours, go eat dinner (just us two of us), and etc. She even came by my place to make dinner for myself and my roommate one time.

    One night she swung by my place to chill. While sitting on the couch with me, she initiated a kiss and asked me to cuddle with her.

    Next day ... She gave me a talk and said she want to take things slowly and remain as friends. She said she really liked me but she doesn't want to commit to anything. That was straight out of the left field for me. I was thinking we have been progressing too quickly? We kissed like once and that was the day before.

    I then told Her I liked her, and I would like to date her. So I asked her about reconsidering about being just friends and give me a chance to date her. She said she'll think about it.

    She thought about it for about a week, and she send me this email saying that she still just want to be friends today. However, she says she thinks I am a great guy that she and she wants to continue hanging out with me.

    So does this mean i am officially friendzoned or is there still hope for me?

    tl;dr:
    girl liked me. she invited me hang out everyday for ~2 weeks. one night, she suddenly kissed me one day and asked me to cuddle with her. Then the next day that she told me she just want to be friends.
     
  2. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    all women are whores
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    What it means is that bitch is walking all over you and you're letting it happen.

    Think about it: SHE has initiated the hanging out, SHE initiated the kiss, SHE told you she wants to "remain friends" but "take things slowly," SHE made you wait a week for her answer when you tried to initiate a dating arrangement, and turned you down.... yet you still want to be with her.

    What the fuck? She's got all the power and you're letting her have it by allowing her to string you along. Grow a pair and take back the control -- tell her you're not her cuddle bitch and she's not going to get away with sending mixed signals anymore. Either you're friends or you're dating, she can't have it both ways.
     
  4. soccerbud

    soccerbud OT Supporter

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    good point. completely missed that.
    broke up with the ex of 4 years just about 8 months ago, so i have been out of this dating scene for a while. Jumped into this thing head over heels and definitely forgot how to properly court a girl.

    i need to grow a pair lol
     
  5. bacdo

    bacdo New Member

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    true.

    my own $0.02:

    when the original poster stated that he wanted to date her and she said "let me think about it..." I would have said. "No, that is not good enough. I need an answer. Tell me what you think and feel. Don't lead me on like this."

    or at least something to that same sentiment. :rofl:

    by letting her get away with what she did, she probably thought that you have no spine/ self respect. Either way, move on, she is a shallow whore.
     
  6. GRocks10

    GRocks10 New Member

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    This is a great response.

    And by the looks of it, she lost interest after that first kiss for some reason. maybe it was a deal breaker or how you handled things wanting something so quick with her the next day and she kind of wanted to date alittle more here and there and then she felt pressured that things WERE going too quickly and put a stop to it.


    When you told her that you wanted her to re-consider and she said to give her a week, that was it. You let the ball in her court and she just wasn't all that interested... I guess its how you handled things and she picked up on it that she didn't want it to go further. Who knows..
     
  7. soccerbud

    soccerbud OT Supporter

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    i want to learn from my mistakes. if i had a chance to try things all over again, how should i have approached the situation?
     
  8. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I assure you that no guy ive ever met thats been very successful with women has EVER EVER EVER wondered "Im i taking this too fast"

    Thats a chump fear.

    Men take what they want.

    Lost puppies follow around their mommies tails like this sad sad example of manhood fail.
     
  9. john law

    john law Guest

    I never thought I would do this, but a well deserved

    :bowdown::bowdown::bowdown:
     
  10. john law

    john law Guest

    wow. I will tear this up later.
     
  11. idesofmarch

    idesofmarch New Member

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    when a chick says she doesnt want to commit to anything it means she wants to be fuckbuddies
     
  12. soccerbud

    soccerbud OT Supporter

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    :rofl: please do
     
  13. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    You already lost the battle when after saying that she just wanted to be friends you told her that you wanted more. That, right there, was the moment when she had control and you screwed yourself.

    I'm not putting you at fault though, especially since you just came out of a LTR. It sucks getting back into the game after being out for several years (trust me, I know).

    Then when you gave her a week to think about it, your essentially gave her all the power and put the nail in the proverbial coffin of your potential relationship.

    She's being a dumb bitch and stringing you along. She has control, she's getting positive attention from you, and she LOVES IT!!! Which is why she wants to keep hanging out and keep being friends. Most male friends that a chicks has have, at some point, admitted feelings for her and she said no. They stick around for stupid reason and she gets a high off of knowing that all these male friends she hangs with secretly lust for her and if she ever wanted more it's always there... just waiting in the wings.
    As much as I hate oversimplifying stuff like this, she's just playing her own little game with you.

    What you should have done is when she said 'lets take it slow and just be friends' you should have said "well, I was looking for more, but you know what, that actually sounds good". This way you refrain from giving her the power and take some back for yourself by letting her know you're concerned with her lack of desire to create a relationship.
    Ideally, when she said that you should have never let her know you wanted more, that way she was still be interested in the mystery, but whatever... too late for that.

    I know it sounds childish and juvenile, but this is how a lot of chicks work. If you let them know your interested and give them all the control, they will run with it if they're your typical 18-25 year old girl.

    As far as still having a chance...... She's being a stupid bitch so I would say to just forget about her and look to other chicks; the moment you date another girl she'll be all over you again. She initiated things, but you gave her power too fast and killed the chase and interest she was looking for. Stop calling her so often, act uninterested when you're with her, and make it obvious to her that you're pursuing other girls. She'll start getting closer with you again.
     
  14. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    sounds to me like you weren't a good kisser or there just wasn't any chemistry in the kiss :dunno:
     
  15. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    Sounds like you're the extra nice guy. I'd have tried kissing her the second time she was over. at least a kiss on the cheek the first time she was over. hugging, holding.... these are things women like. sounds like you were waiting for her to do everything and she got put off by that.
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Maybe she's got another dude she's actually into and you're second chair. Either way it sounds like she's trying to keep you on the line. I'm reminded of a recent HIMYM episode.
     
  17. Spaceering

    Spaceering I bite.

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    i think it has already been said, but look at this story you wrote and see that there is something wrong here.


    you put this whole thing in her hands and asked her if she wanted to date (well you told her you would date her which is like a question in her mind)


    leaving it up to her kind of means that she is going to choose so if she has not already chosen you, then she is seeking other men (you got rejected in her mind at some point, maybe when she kissed you). If she ends up choosing you later on (like you seem to want) it was because it was a last resort. If you choose to wait around and see if she chooses you let us know how it goes.


    or


    you could start thinking like this. Turn the tables, you go around and kiss girls, and make them want to have the pleasure of another kiss from you (at your choosing). you be the one that judges the girl based on what you want. turn a few down, for your own sake(will be a big help to you). Most women want the guy to act like this.

    good luck. being a door mat sucks, i hope you get enough advice to change that for yourself
     
  18. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    how much chemistry could there possibly be when he sat around like a chump for two weeks and made her initiate 1 kiss?
     
  19. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    :werd: she probably thought something was wrong with the guy.
     
  20. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Been there with girls like this "you're such a great guy" :mb: don't waste your time anymore stop hanging out with this girl or you'll just keep getting your hopes up
     
  21. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    More than anything else, always remind yourself that actions speak louder than words.

    That should be fairly self explanatory.
     
  22. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    Short end of the story is you tip toe around her because you are afraid to lose her and afraid of rejection.

    This is the "big picture" problem. Fix that and you fix everything.

    on a more manageable scale....

    1. act like a man. Go watch some batman movies, watch some james bond movies. Tell me how often you see them wait around for 14 days for the girl to kiss them and then wonder if they went "too fast" :rofl: You go after what you want, and make no apologies for wanting it.

    2. You need to at least act like you have a backbone. You are probably the kind of guys that says "whatever you want to do" a lot. Thats the kiss of death. You are the man. Take the lead. Have a plan.

    3. Do not settle for bad behavior. If you don't act like you know you deserve to be treated well and accept nothing less, everyone else will assume that you are not worth much.

    4. Be fun, exciting, unpredictable. Could be as simple as just calling her up and saying "lets go for ice cream right now!" just don't be a lame ass who always wants to just sit around and do the same old same old.

    5. create some sexual tension. learn to use your physical presence and to unashamedly harness the power of your sexuality. This isnt really a bullet point... gonna need some effort on your part do to further research
     
  23. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    in other words.

    BE A MAN
     
  24. haargerman

    haargerman ayuh.

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    This almost reminds me of the girl I have been "seeing"...

    I made a move, I asked her out.
    We saw each other 3 or 4 times.
    I got drunk and ended up texting her and pretty much told her I have a thing for her.
    She shut me down and said we should be friends (great guy blah blah)
    Didn't see her for about ~3 weeks (texted every once in a while)

    I finally told her we should go see the Boston Marathon yesterday and we spent the day together. Split lunch, she bought me frozen yogurt and then we parted ways.

    I have this sense that she's into me, and I'm definitely into her (but im still seeing other girls and not making myself too available). But I can't make a move cause I know I'm in the friendzone.

    Not sure if she's stringing me along, but she seems to not want to lose me.

    So that leaves me with... wtf is my next move?
     
  25. peoplescar

    peoplescar Guest

    did you try hooking up with her?
     

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