SRS Need an opinion

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Handsom3, Jul 17, 2007.

  1. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    A little background first, I've had my ass handed to me in the last two relationships by the girl cheating on me and each time it makes it harder to get close and trust the next girl so this is where my problem comes from.

    I've been dating this girl for about 8 months and things are becoming very serious with us now and we are looking at moving in together next year once my lease is up and what not. We spend lots of time together when we are together, which is about every day now. Well last night we are laying in bed watching a movie and she gets a text from someone and she sends a sort one back. Out of the corner of my eye I catch a name and jokingly ask who it was. She said it was some guy from school that was trying to pick her up and sending her dirty text messages.

    She then asked if I wanted to see them and I was like fuck no and was like I'm out. She then freaks out and ask what is wrong and I pretty much tell her that was rude to talk to another guy when she was with me. The water works start and she starts saying she is sorry and didn't mean to do it. I know she isn't cheating and never told her I thought that, I just thought it was rude and I knew were it would lead.

    Basically I want to know if I am over reacting here since I've been cheated on in the past and she didn't try to hide anything from me and has always been honest with me. I really love this girl and know that she loves me, so I'm thinking I'm over reacting, but would like another opinion.

    Cliffs:
    • Been cheated on twice
    • Girl gets a message from some guy
    • Ask if I want to look at them
    • I think I'm over reacting
     
  2. JustJeff

    JustJeff www.youtube.com/thisisjustjeff

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    With your recent history with relationships, I would say it's not too much over-reacting, but I think you are getting ahead of yourself. Does she know about your past relationships? If not, then I think she is just a little bit scared about why you would act so weird, and if anything it might cause some strain.

    If it was me, I'd probably come out with why I acted in such a way and give her a run-down of what you're scared about. She will understand your concern.

    Though, she did ask you if you wanted to see them, so she is a very trustworthy girl, and most likely nothing will come of what's going on. So, I would say don't let it slide, but know that the girl you are with is very serious about her relationship with you, and that's all that matters.
     
  3. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    :werd:

    She's knows about both the girls that cheated on me and I've made it clear that it is one strike your out. I spoke to her why I freaked out and she told me she'd never talk to the guy again. I just don't want to lose someone that I really love and trust for the first time in a long time.
     
  4. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    i think you are overreacting. if you didn't want to know anything about it, why did you ask? she answered you honestly and quickly, and probably sent a text back to this guy like "no sry" or something. sure it would've been rude if she had a 20 minute conversation on the phone with him, but a quick text message isn't interrupting anything.

    i'm a girl, and this has happened many times with the guy i'm currently dating (also for about 8 months, about the same degree of seriousness as yours). i get text messages from guys wanting me to come out or whatever, and i always either write back a polite decline or i don't reply at all. sometimes he asks who it was, and i tell him, and sometimes he doesn't :dunno:

    it happens dude, she is not cheating on you, and if you start freaking out about this sort of thing you are going to start seeming crazy jealous and overprotective and probably scare her away. just chill out and enjoy the relationship and the fact that she's hanging out with you and not some lame dude who's trying to pick her up.
     
  5. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    He's sending her dirty text messages and she's playing right into his game by replying to them? Maybe you overreacted a little but thats still pretty fucked up she should be telling him to knock it off or just ignore his calls from now on, that guy is being pretty disrespectful towards you.
     
  6. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Thanks for the advice, I just talked to her and she said she would have been even more upset if she was in my place. She gets pretty jealous some times, but it isn't over bearing.
     
  7. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    She wasn't playing into them, I asked her and they didn't seem to bad. Plus now I know where this guy lives and he is quite younger then her too. But if he keeps it up, I'll make sure he gets a clear message to fuck off. :nono:
     
  8. pippystarluv

    pippystarluv New Member

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    i wouldn't blame you for how you feel because you're scare to get hurt again... but you have to explain to her what happened to you and let her know that it's not going to be easy for you to trust again even her, even if she hasn't done anything. but you were over reacting, you could had just told her without being mad.
     
  9. CaliforniaPlaya

    CaliforniaPlaya New Member

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    2x
    Definitely said better than I could!
     
  10. Gibles

    Gibles the funny thing about my back is....

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    Does this other guy know she has a boyfriend? I would have hoped she told him.
     
  11. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    Yeah, he knows and he also knows that she loves me. I think I'm pretty much over this after talking to her last night. I asked for a little more info about what went on and found out pretty much nothing on her part. She said guys like him have never been in love like we are because if he did he'd know that he had zero chance in getting anything from her.
     
  12. alkalinesolo

    alkalinesolo Active Member

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    You definitely overreacted.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Yep, you overreacted. It's cool though, you are tainted from being cheated on, however, you can't and don't want to ruin the good, trustworthy relationship that you now have. Put it this way, it's a good thing that she asked if you wanted to see them because that means she doesn't give a shit at all about that guy, what he said, and thought you might get a laugh out of it. She's actually secure with your relationship, so don't fuck it up!
     
  14. Handsom3

    Handsom3 Our wrongs remain unrectified and our souls won't

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    I told her I never once doubted her or didn't trust her. I just thought it as being really rude to do that in front on me.

    I know, this is the last thing I want to do. Thanks for all the advice. :)
     

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