need advice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by philst3r, Mar 13, 2008.

  1. philst3r

    philst3r New Member

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    there's this girl i like, and the feelings are mutual, but she has a boyfriend that she's been with for 2 years and is on a "break" with now. she's trying to figure out if the relationship is worth it for her. she told me that the feelings we have towards each other are real and that it's just bad timing. we get along great, have a lot in common, and just overall have fun with each other. the iffy part is that the guy is someone i know and he's a friend of mine. not a great friend, but someone i see at least once or twice a week. he has absolutely no idea what's going on between me and this girl. what do i do? do i keep flirting and trying to get something going, or do i just leave it alone and whatever happens happens?

    oh and also me and this girl are really good friends




    cliffs: i like a girl, girl likes me, but has a boyfriend that she's on a break with. confused as to what to do about situation
     
  2. Master Splinter

    Master Splinter OT Supporter

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    Tough call.

    If you like her a lot and she likes you a lot and shes on break with this guy I'd say go for it, sounds like this guy is more of an acquaintance than a friend so what do you care if you piss him off?

    That said you're sure they're legitimately on a break where both parties are looking around to make sure they're in the ideal situation, otherwise it'd basically be cheating.

    So if you like her and she likes you and shes legitimately on break from her significant other I'd say go for it, if you don't you'll end up kicking yourself for not giving it a shot to see if there is really something there or not down the road.
     
  3. philst3r

    philst3r New Member

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    he's still trying really really hard to be with her. he thinks she's the girl that he's going to marry. they were together for 2 years. me and this girl have hooked up a couple times already. she's not looking for other guys, she's just trying to figure out if this guy is the one for her.
     
  4. k0in b4hd

    k0in b4hd New Member

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    turn the tides somehow my man, sounds like she's sitting on the fence countin her bills
     
  5. TornadoCreator

    TornadoCreator New Member

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    Any girl who has ever been "on a break" with any boyfriend EVER is off limits. She is flakey, indecisive and probably afraid of commitment. DON'T GO THERE! She will simply leave you for someone else when she develops an overwheming need to try out a different type of sausage if you get my drift. Sorry to be so blunt with this one, but the warning signs are all over it.
     
  6. black jesus

    black jesus OT Supporter

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    a "break" means she's trying to find a better guy, but she'll go back to him after she gets some strange or thinks she can do no better. Go in cautiously and expect this one to end the way it starts.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Her being on a "break" with a guy is her way of being too pathetic to just break up with the guy. Girls use a "break" to test the waters with other guys. However, even if they do find another guy he is almost always a rebound and nothing more.

    I'm telling you this in case it ever happens to you.

    More importantly, leave this girl alone. She's got a boyfriend (sort of) of 2 years! If she really wanted out of this relationship for you she'd have just dumped him right away. Even if she did get the courage and break up with him you would only be her rebound. If you are just after sex that's one thing, but I have a feeling you want a real relationship with her, in which case if you want a meaningful relationship with her you are NEVER going to get it unless she breaks up with her boyfriend and then is single for a while, gets over that relationship and still seeks you out after all that.

    If she breaks up with him and jumps into your arms it's only because she is afraid of being alone, but after a while she'll want to be free again.
    The temptation of someone new is always exciting, but if you guys dated a few weeks, months she might get to actually know you in the way bf/gf's do and then she might regret her decision...

    In other words, stop flirting and leave her alone. If she gets upset it's because she misses the extra attention and you can tell her you're not going to mess with her until she actually proves she wants you and leaves her boyfriend. If she stays with him you have her answer of her feelings for you.
     
  8. uwofrost

    uwofrost New Denver Crew

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    This might be the best way to know what is what with her... it will be hard to do but if you really want to have her then this is what should be done.
     
  9. philst3r

    philst3r New Member

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    thanks for all the advice, but here's the thing. i've known this girl for a long time and we're best of friends. it's not just any girl. any other girl i would completely agree with the whole rebound situation, but she's not the type to do something like that. i've been with many girls in the past and i know she's not like any other girl out there. but, i get what you're saying, i guess i'm just going to have to leave it alone and just let the good times roll.
     
  10. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    :bs:
     
  11. philst3r

    philst3r New Member

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    there's nobody that knows her better than me. i'm not trying to be ignorant about the situation i'm acknowledging everything from a third party perspective. as objective as i can be
     
  12. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    sounds to me like you are her GIRLFRIEND, which means its almost impossible for you to become her BOYFRIEND

    Possible, sure, but highly unlikely.

    You relate to her as another one of her girlfriends. I think you are heavily friendzoned here, and she doesn't want to straight up tell you and hurt your feelings so she is letting you have some false hope.

    And girls are different, sure, but in my experience they have many more similarities in how their attraction works than they do differences.

    You can't logically convince her to like you, no matter how "different" she is.
     
  13. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Any woman who is too immature to deal with her own problems in a proactive manner is not a great woman to date.

    She'd just be using you, and if she got tired with you, she'd pull the same routine on you.

    And to the whole "a break is a way to find out if you're in the ideal situation" idea....that's crap. If you're in an ideal situation, you KNOW it, and don't have the desire to look for something else.

    Also, Yail's right. You're most likely a friend, or just a source of puppy love/attention...you're not a serious romantic interest. If you were, she's break up with the bf for you.
     
  14. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    She won't be doing it on purpose. ;)
     
  15. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    You should leave them alone until they are no longer talking. Although i'm sure you two have crushes on each other it can't compare to the 2 years she's spent with this guy. If you continue to pursue this chances are you'll get hurt, it isn't worth the risk.

    She's keeping you around so she can rebound if it doesn't work out with her current guy.

    Tell her genuinely how you feel then let her know you're taking a step back out of fairness to everyone.
     
  16. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    You're completely deluding yourself if you feel like you're closer with her than her bf of 2 years. If she wanted to be with you she would, end of story.

    We are your third party perspective: leave her alone and let her figure her life out, then you'll know if it's meant to be. :hs:
     
  17. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Right there is the truth at its simplest.
     

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