SRS Need advice vs. pregnant woman vs. I doubt it's mine

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by LatinLover, May 20, 2009.

  1. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    Ok crew, I need some help in here...

    I started dating this girl around 4 months ago and everything was going perfect. The funny thing about it is that she's 8 years younger than me, no biggie. One day, we decided to come to my place and chill out, but what ended up being is that we had sex. Cliffs? She never told me she was a virgin and I took it. I had condoms on and everything was just beautiful.

    We got together for sex several times after that, and we both enjoyed every single second of it. Now the problem comes. We kept communications all the time and everything was perfect. One day, I call her the usual and she tells me that she doesn't want me to call her anymore because she's having a lot of personal problems and don't need me in her life. I kept asking why, but she said no further comment.

    A few days later she contacts me again saying that she regrets taking me out of her life and that she wants to talk. Ok. I tell her that I do not understand why she wants me out one day and in the other. She tells me and I quote: "well, maybe that's because how us pregnant women behave". I'm like: "oh, the fuck!" But then she tells me not to worry about it, because she doesn't want me on the baby's life. Now I'm in shock an somewhat upset. I asked her why she doesn't want me on the baby's life? She said that it doesn't matter, that I'm not important anymore and that she will raise the baby by herself and move on, plus she already had 2 friends that are willing to give their last names for the baby.

    Now, I'm in high doubt that her baby is mine, because AFAIK, women want the father to be there for the baby, at least in the money part, you know? Now, I want to be in the baby's life, but she erased all her info, changed her # and her e-mails.

    What can I do here guys?!?!?!?
     
  2. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    Just to clarify, you don't think the baby is yours, but IF it is, you would want to be a part of the child's life?

    Another question: were you using condoms every time you two had sex?
     
  3. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    If she asks for money -

    DNA test. DNA test. DNA test.

    I feel there should be a DNA test with every live birth in the US. If she never contacts you again, GOOD. I feel your pain when you do not see "your kid", but the chance that it is NOT your kid is too high. It almost feels like "she got knocked up, and is putting out feelers for who the daddy is".

    She has "2 friends" that are willing to give their last names to the baby? What the fuck? This reeks of bullshit, the type of bullshit that will bite YOU in the ass later on. This girl obviously was doing something monumentally stupid other then having sex with someone who she was not in a committed relationship with. I am sorry to say, but the answers you are getting now make it apparent that the chance to have a sustainable interaction with this woman in the context of raising a child is almost nil. Also, I highly doubt that this is the last you will hear from this woman, I can guarantee that once this baby is born that you will get that fancy certified letter stating that you need to show up for a court appointment.
     
  4. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    Yes and double yes! And I only have a doubt that is mine because of the mother's negativity to allow me to be around for the child and/or her.

    I agree with everything that you said, and I know the possibility of getting a letter from court stating that I need to show up, but at least I tried to make sure she was sure of her decision. She clearly stated that she doesn't want to see me and doesn't want me around "our" baby. She also told me that she had those 2 "friends" volunteer for their last name and that her mom wasn't in agree, but she supported her.

    I also made sure that once she put the "friends" last name on the birth certificate, she could not chase me after the baby ever again. She agreed to that as well. Hope she doesn't chase me around, but if she does, I'm gonna fight for the right thing.
     
  5. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    that might come from anger, too. if you really were her first then she probably wasn't looking to get pregnant. using only "she won't let me near her" as your reasoning is pretty shaky.


    she can't sign away her child's right to support so she can "chase you" at any point. she's making it harder by putting someone else's name on the birth cert, but if (when) that guy gets tired of her, expect a visit from a court officer.

    what's the right thing?
     
  6. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    I took all the precautions not to impregnate her. The condoms were not broken, nor there was leak on the sides. Part 1 of the doubt

    Part 2 and 3: if she chases me, I will fight it, but I will fight the fact that if the baby is actually mine, I want to be there for the baby. The mom can fuck off, but I want to be A father if the baby is mine, and THAT is the right thing to do
     
  7. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    :bigthumb:
     
  8. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    I'm 100% clean. Never used drugs, don't smoke and rarely drink.
     
  9. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    How are you even sure she is really pregnant? She could just be lying to you to fuck with you.
     
  10. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    thats what i was going to say.
     
  11. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    Saw her facebook before she deleted it/blocked me:squint: and she showed me her sonogram/ultrasound/whatever
     
  12. Ford4Life

    Ford4Life Guest

    I normally wouldn't say this since there is a potential child involved, but this broad sounds nuts. Change your phone number and email address, and have no contact with her. If she some how manages to get in touch with you, give her no money, don't going to any doctors appointments, do nothing. If she asks for anything from you, demand a paternity test.
     
  13. T-R-T

    T-R-T New Member

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    She's probably not even pregnant.
     
  14. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    How do you know it was hers? :dunno:

    I wouldn't believe any of that crap unless it came directly from a doctor.
     
  15. Redbeard

    Redbeard OT Supporter

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    Blood test or it didnt happen
     
  16. LatinLover

    LatinLover Puppah Lover...

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    DNA test FTW! :ugh2:
     
  17. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I would ignore her and the 'issue' until it becomes something more. There isn't much you can do now and if she is pregnant and it is yours then once the baby is born you can make tracks to find out.

    Until then, it sounds like a whole lot of manipulation and attention seeking
     
  18. Crawling Dead

    Crawling Dead Gz-TeRRoR

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    number one thing to remember is do not give her money. Regardless of if she is actually preggo or not, chances are high she may come back to you requesting money for doctors appointments or other things. She has already flipped sides once with wanting t see you, she may flip again on wanted you to be in this "child's" "life. I am under the impression she is lying about being preggo as well, and she may come down on you with some serious sob story just to get money. until you see a lab test result confirming it to be your baby, and a court order for you to make payments and child support, do not give her a dime.
     
  19. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    Cliffs -
    Do not give her money until you are obligated by the court.
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That's a super passive-aggressive way to mention being pregnant for the first time.

    I hope the baby isn't yours so you don't have to deal with her.
     

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