Need advice on a girl..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by WeRdToYoMoThA, Jun 9, 2006.

  1. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    Heres the situation:

    I was dating a girl who had just broken up with her bf when I was still in school in Boston (now in CO, her in Seattle) in the spring for a few weeks. It wasn't anything all that serious, but we were close. We have been talking almost every day during the summer for at least 15 min/day, sometimes the long conversations of upwards of an hour, etc.

    anyway, last week one of her friends told her he likes her. now, she is confused as to what to do, because she is still getting over her ex bf, not wanting to get in a serious relationship with anyone (including me, until she is completely over her ex). From what I talked to her about the other day, she said she loved the way things were going between us at the end of the school year, and wanted things to keep going that way, and for her and that friend to be just friends.

    However, she also said she thought she had been leading me on to think that she wanted to be officially together, boyfriend and girlfriend, and the works. I didn't get that impression, but whatever.

    Today, her friend updated his facebook, put the town she lives in as one of his interests, put he was "in a relationship", and said his favorite music is whatever she is listening to at the time.

    what the fuck is going on, and what the fuck do i do? I am at work right now, and sent her a text to call me when she got a chance.
     
  2. maskednegator

    maskednegator Kosmonaut, best we've got...

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    2,923
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego
    first, stop e-stalking her friends. second, move on, she ain't interested in pursuing anything with either of you.
     
  3. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    im not e-stalking. facebook is public domain :o

    she said she was interested in pursuing something with me though. i asked her if anything had changed between us since the summer started, and she said no.
     
  4. foad

    foad New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 15, 2004
    Messages:
    671
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orange Park, Florida
    uhh.. :eek4:
     
  5. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    ?
     
  6. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
  7. Eris

    Eris Yes please

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hell on Earth, Az
    First of all, if she just got out of a relationship and isn't ready for anything and you're the first guy to come around, chances are you're the rebound guy.

    Secondly, she'll experience multiple feelings of confusion as she explores more on her own and meets new people. If she said she isn't looking for anything serious, take it at face value. She prob as no intention with getting into anything long term with anyone, you or this other guy.

    Thirdly, if nothing has changed between the two of you, that means you're still in square one and she has no intention of moving forward with you.

    Best advice I can offer: Go out, meet people, and enjoy life. Don't worry about this girl and don't invest your feelings because she more than likely will end up hurthing them.

    If she calls, don't bring up the fact your were reading through her friends' facebook profile for obvious reasons. (Comes across as creepy and possesive).
     
  8. crazy15

    crazy15 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2005
    Messages:
    2,897
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    YAY AREA & UCSB
    stop beating around the bush. tell her how you feel, and what you want. if she doesn't want the same move on
     
  9. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    yay :run:

    we're all but "broken up" without ever being officially together.
     
  10. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    there werent any girls that i was really interested in all year in college though :dunno:

    she was the only one that i was actually interested in. i hooked up with a few girls, but that was just a one time thing.

    i dated a few girls, but lost interest when they failed to meet any of my standards :dunno:
     
  11. Eris

    Eris Yes please

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hell on Earth, Az
    well there ya go, now have fun and enjoy life!!!! don't be in such a hurry to get attached, while it's nice, it's not a necessity during our young years.

    it's college ... enjoy it!
     
  12. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    eh. i have my own ways of enjoying life. id rather curl up in bed with a girl i care about than one i dont. i like having one girl to care about, and one that cares about me.

    i cared about her... and she cared about me. it started way too soon, before she was over her boyfriend. it had to happen then though, because the summer was starting, and we would have been away from each other for 4 months, and all feelings for each other would have subsided.

    i knew this would happen. i hate this fucking summer.
     
  13. Eris

    Eris Yes please

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hell on Earth, Az
    I dunno ... perhaps I have a different outlook on things b/c I was in a LTR from 16-22.

    To each their own, I get it. It's nice having someone to "come home" to and be with, but at the sametime you have to be able to grow as your own person and develope interests outside of being in a relationship.

    Besides which I wasn't telling you to run out and have all kinds of crazy sexual encounters and one nighters.

    Just enjoy life and try not to rush into anything. Not everyone meets the person of their dreams while in college and quite a few of us have to go through a lot of hurt before finding that one person. Take it from someone who let life pass them by because they were too afraid to step outside of their comfort zone!
     
  14. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    its been over a year since my last serious relationship. it took me a while to get over that one, but i did and i was finally ready for another one. i took some time to "grow"... i feel as if im a much better person now, and would be a much better significant other, than i was in the first relationship.

    i just really liked that girl, and she really liked me. the timing of this whole situation is really unfortunate. if things had started between us earlier in the year, say in march, things would still be great, and i would be in seattle visiting her right now. but, because she had broken up with her ex boyfriend so late into the year, i was faced with a choice: make a move then and now, and see if the relationship could last through the summer, or take the chance of not doing anything then, and face the inevitability of our feelings for each other of cooling off before the summer ended.
     
  15. Eris

    Eris Yes please

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hell on Earth, Az
    :hs: That sucks!
     
  16. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    yeah... the timing of this whole scenario is the only thing that screwed it up. we were both REALLY into each other... but its hard going away for 4 months 3 weeks into a "relationship"

    i miss her :/
     
  17. Eris

    Eris Yes please

    Joined:
    Jul 5, 2005
    Messages:
    815
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Hell on Earth, Az
    It's hard going away in a relationship period. :sadwavey:
     
  18. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    especially hard when its not all that serious yet. we were SO into each other.
    i liked her :(
     
  19. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    i talked to her yesterday. she said she was unsure of what she wanted, and that she needs time to figure it out.

    i told her i dont want anything too serious. she said that she was all caught up in being in a new relationship, which made her feel so good, and that made her think that she was ready for another one. after being away for a few weeks, she realized she wasnt.

    i dunno whether to believe her or not. she coincidentally started thinking all this right after a friend of hers told her that he liked her. so basically what she is "thinking" about is whether she would rather date no one at all, me, or him.

    i hate the fucking summer.
     
  20. hi2u2

    hi2u2 New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 22, 2005
    Messages:
    3,003
    Likes Received:
    0
    listen, you like her, let her know straight up. tell her youre willing to wait. see what she says
     
  21. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2002
    Messages:
    27,033
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Boston Mass
    she knows i like her.

    she likes me, or so she says.

    she just doesnt know what she wants.
     

Share This Page