Need Advice: I don't find sex stimulating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by cunninglinguist, May 8, 2005.

  1. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    Of the few girls that I've been with, none of them have really been able to please me sexually.

    At first I thought that I wasnt that attracted to them and thats why it didnt work out physically, but this has happened with multiple girls.

    When were in bed and kissing, I get hard pretty quickly. I've never received great head from a girl. I still stay hard but its not stimulating at all (I'm not even close to coming). Sex itself is a little better, but still not very stimulating.

    Girls tell me that they're sore the next day and that I last too long, and I absolutely agree. The only person that can really get me off is myself.

    What's wrong here? Have I just not found the right person yet or is it me? I try fantasizing during sex, but that doesnt work, so I dunno.

    I think it may have something to do with porn. I :wackit: about once a day to porn. That's really the only time I'm turned on. I'm thinking that I'm conditioned to think sex is just like porn (oral, intercourse, guys jerks himself off at the end, etc...)

    Any advice?
     
  2. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    stop jerking off so regularly or atleast looking at porn..

    i had the same problem with my last girlfriend at first so i just stopped beaten the meat and sure enough after a few weeks of self lovin i could actually cum in reasonable time before she was tired..
     
  3. mario

    mario Guest

    or maybe the holes of the girls are too loose~~~
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I have the same problem. I can go 2+ hours if I wanted to. I assure you it's from beating off too much. lol
     
  5. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    throw away all your porn, just trash it. get rid of it. it'll make your sex life so much better. i did that awhile ago and dont regret it at all. i watch porn now and it doesn't really do a whole lot for me. but my girl kissing my lip for 2 seconds gives me instant wood.

    the only porn i have on my computer is 2 dvd pornos that i watch with my girlfriend... when i need something to jerk off to, i read a sexual fantasy she wrote me. so much more erotic than watching some guy fuck a skank with his horse penis.
     
  6. Killa B

    Killa B Abuse This!

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    Its true the more you beat off, the more your libido diminishes, If you don't have a steady SO it's impossible
     
  7. brujito

    brujito New Member

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    I read somewhere that even wacking it once a week can aslo affect how long you last. Aslo watching too much porn is a no-no.
     
  8. itsallaboutvegas

    itsallaboutvegas New Member

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    Man, Im in the same boat as you are, I can only please myself. However the other day I went to a strip club and had a real intense lap dance where the girl was rubbing her body all over me and it almost made me blow......I was so excited. How do you explain that?
    I will definitely lay off the porn for a few weeks, but Im confused because if it was "too much jerking off" then why did the stripper almost make me blow in 5 minutes, and I last an hour with my girlfriend(without blowing sometimes)?
     
  9. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Mutual masturbation ;)
     
  10. mina

    mina Bra Burner

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    mmmm what a nice image.

    Face it you're girlfriends or partners don't turn you on. Either you're getting addicted to sex without intimacy, or you're just one of those that prefer it.
     
    Last edited: May 12, 2005
  11. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    Plus it will be a lesson or sorts. She can watch to see what you do ;)
     
  12. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    I agree with the jerk-it-less theory, but maybe you're not as turned on because the girls you screw IRL are not as experienced or 'dirty' as in a porno.

    One of the best things about having someone else pleasure you sexually is that they will try things you have not thought to try yourself or can't do on your own - put the porn away and practice with your girl instead.
     
  13. brookie957

    brookie957 New Member

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    not to be mean or anything, but have do you ever question your sexuality>?
     
  14. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    no, not at all... i consider myself totally straight

    happened again last night, sex for hours without coming, though it did feel a lot better this time around. did not masturbate since tuesday (3 days beforehand)

    i very easily get turned on by touching/kissing, but unless im getting that same constant stimulation from sex, i dont come. i guess it will come with experience. this girl is a lot more open with sex than my previous partners.
     
  15. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    yeah, tried that last night. she said 'what can i do for you', but i had no answer since i really didnt know what she could do to get me off.
     
  16. Sexican

    Sexican New Member

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    This is going to sound weird, but...Try to make yourself harder when you're having sex...like, use all your muscles in your penis if that is anyway NOT confusing. If a girl rides on top of me, and I just sit there not moving a muscle, I can lasta long time, but if you're on top, and using all your muscles, it makes it feel alot better. Just pretend that your penis is a full muscle, and try to...ahhh I can't think of how to explain it....try to make yourself as hard as you can as you're penetrating, tell me if that works.
     
  17. mina

    mina Bra Burner

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    What's going on in your head while you're having sex? I've heard it said the brain's the largest human sex organ...er... well...something like that? Do you do it with your eyes open or shut? :)

    Good luck with yer new girl.
     
  18. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    I think I know what you mean, I was trying to do that.... at first I held back just cause I wanted to last longer, but then I just went for it. Felt good at the time, but couldnt quite finish.

    I'll 'try harder' :) next time and see if that works.
     
  19. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    Eyes open. I really like this new girl, so all I'm thinking about pleasing her. I dont really fantasize about anyone/anything else.
     
  20. Crystal80

    Crystal80 Guest

    You need to stop jerking off so much. If you feel like the only way to get off is to masterbate, then include your SO in it also. You will get off watching her masterbate herself as well as she would watching you. Then maybe, just maybe you can get into the nice and heavy with her.

    My ex SO and I would do mutual masterbation frequently. Not because sex was bad, but every now and then alittle different is nice and stimulating.
     
  21. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    hrm... i can't really comment on the penis thing since i've never had one (that really functions :mamoru: ) of my own. :hs:

    anyways... i'd be willing to bet it's either in your mind or you haven't met someone that's right for you. :dunno: i've been with a guy that hadn't cum from head before, and welp, he did with me.

    ...let's get back to that first part, tho. ;) i think you're thinking of getting off too much. let sex and everything sexual just happen naturally. enjoy your girl, the feeling of the two of you close together, and i'm sure that once you put your mind at ease everything will come (no pun intended ;)) together.
     
  22. cunninglinguist

    cunninglinguist RAEPERQUICKING

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    I've been cutting back since last week. I think I masterbated 3 times from last friday till now (and once was this afternoon) cause I really needed to release after last night (it was a freaking river :ugh: )

    But is once a day really too much? I though that was healthy? What's the difference between that and having sex on a daily basis?
     
  23. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    The difference is you or someone else getting you off. You've already admitted you need help with this, and the way to help is to discontinue your past behaviours.

    Try holding out for your girl, and only her, for a while. Eventually you'll be so pent up with sexual frustration that you can't help but orgasm with her. After that, focus on the actions she took that excelerated or triggered your orgasm. Eventually it'll be second nature and you can slowly reintroduce your masterbation.

    There's nothing wrong with masterbation, but because you're so strongly tied to pleasuring yourself to get off, you're going to find it harder to adapt to other ways of orgasming.
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    How long is your foreplay lasting? I get turned on so much more when we've had foreplay for 30-60 mins. The sex is then 1000 times more satisfying.
     

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