SRS Need advice for a girl on making friends with girls

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by teo, Jan 23, 2005.

  1. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Ironically enough, I have problems making friends with women. The kicker is - I AM a girl. I enjoy things that guys would typically enjoy - I play videogames, moderate online forums (not here), lift weights in the gym, have a job with a software company where I am currently the only girl on my team... the list goes on.

    Some might conclude that I play for the other team and am looking for a girlfriend in the life-partner sense of the word - that's not the case. I'm quite happily heterosexual. I'm just utterly clueless on making/keeping friendships with girls. I think part of the problem is that I take a no-nonsense, driven approach to life and have very little tolerance for flightiness and foolishness. It's not so much meeting girls (I can do that) as much as trying to relate to them.

    Any thoughts/ideas would be welcome.
     
  2. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    i would say you're prolly looking in the wrong place for answers. the majority of people here are male and couldn't help you.

    I'm a guy and would just say that i only have a couple really good female friends myself because most of the ones i meet just seem ridiculous.
     
  3. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    maybe you should go where only girls would be ... like a massage place, or a shopping mall??

    or am I just making sweeping generalisations?? :o

    I am sure you can find some girls to talk to ... another thought is girlfriends of your guyfriends ... maybe?? :wiggle:
     
  4. msalyss85

    msalyss85 Guest

    I kind of have the same problem w/making friends with girls. Most of them are annoying (here at college). I guess you could start w/internet stuff, like forums (obviously) and find people in your area with the same interests. If there's anything in town that you like, try to meet people there (ex. blues night, jazz, motorcycles, whatever). I hope you can find some people!
     
  5. PoultryMagic

    PoultryMagic If I can't be my own...I'd feel better dead.

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    this is a problem that i have noticed with girls who i consider cool people and free from bullshit. it's hard making friends with other girls of the same temperment. most girls are into the most shallow things in life...clubbing, make-up, blah-blah-blah. try to strike up a decent conversation with them, and you get either a blank stare or a change of subject.

    my advice is to keep trying...and also realize that it's not important for you to have friends who are girls...but friends who are true and who make you feel good about yourself.
     
  6. mr2chi><0r

    mr2chi><0r New Member

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    I know exactly how you feel :wtc: I have no friends here at college and it's been really depressing, even though I've been trying to make friends and be outgoing. Girls just suck :wtc:
     
  7. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: i concur...

    i am a girl, and one of the reasons i have such few girl friends here in orlando is because of the fact that many floridian women are shallow and immature. there is more to my life than a) the reasons why <insert boy's name> didn't call, b) what "so & so" said behind my back the other day, and ... welp, i'm assuming you get the idea. ;)

    :ugh: :dunno: i have a great group of girl friends back home, though.

    i think a couple of the reasons why i have a hard time meeting girls here (and it may work for some of you others), is the fact that i've always been very mature for my age. :hs: that's good and bad at the same time. also, i'm very picky about the people i hang out with. (believe it or not, it's hard to find many people who abstain from drugs where i live)

    good luck ladies! i know we'll perservere and eventually reap the rewards :)
     
  8. apothary

    apothary Guest

    Hah, where do you live meep? I have the same issue- almost all of my friends are guys. Which is really tough when you're BF is constantly jealous...sigh.
     
  9. BradUF

    BradUF Guest

    Honestly, I talk to alot of girls and they say they have alot of guy friends because being friends with girls just causes so much drama and bullshit. I think its normal you hang around guys and you put up with less BS. Maybe you just dont click with alot of girls. Some of them are so full of them self and so prepy.
     
  10. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    woops, lost this thread and forgot to reply! :eek3:

    i'm up north and peeps here are great. most women here are approachable.. i've been to places where being bitchy seems to be a lifestyle choice. i'm just trying to figure out if there is a hole in my life that i should really look at... i think there is but i also think it's probably not as bad as it feels to me right now.

    i tried the GFs-of-guy-friends thing and somehow that never works. i think it has to do with the fact that me, a girl, is friends with a guy, their guy. that makes them insecure and unreceptive and then they never fully accept me anyway. i don't make the situation any better by talking "guy-talk" (eg. debating the pros and cons of different programming languages, VM vs precompiled vs managed.... did I just lose some people here? lol...) I do try, but ive given up hope of finding a meaningful friendship that way.

    i'm very lucky in that i have an extremely supportive BF to whom i can pour out my frustrations and try to figure things out. he's good at leaving me room to grow and he has no issues with my guy friends - not even my exes. that helps.

    in the meantime, i have decided to try making friends with one of the girls at work. she seems receptive - i'm inviting her to a party i'm throwing in about a month. we will see then :hsd:
     
  11. Mel

    Mel RIP James :(

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    In high school, I had an easy time making friends with other girls. As I've gotten older it's been harder to make friends. I suppose it's because you don't want the superficial friends anymore, and it's hard to make a connection with everyone. I don't really have advice on how to make better friends. Work, school, hobbies...
     
  12. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    I'm a girl, and I don't find it easy to be friends with many girls. Throughout making friendships, my friends have been mainly guys.

    The girls that I do become friends with, are liars, fakes, and they constantly talk about people behind their backs - including myself. One girl, that I thought I was great friends with, has lied to me continually where now I can't really even look at her without thinking about how she just uses people. I've found that a lot of girls are like that. I'm open, and honest. The majority of girls I've met and tried to sustain friendships with, aren't either.

    I started hanging out with girls out of my age group, though. Two and three years older, and they're just more mature. I also live in a place where people are really immature, and I didn't grow up around this at all. When I lived in Brooklyn, 75% of my friends were girls. May just be where you live. :dunno:

    Try hanging out with people other than in your age group.. Older would probably be better. They're more mature and easier to get along with.
     
    Last edited: Feb 4, 2005
  13. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :bigthumb: absolutely...

    like i said earlier, i have always been mature for my age. it's hard to meet girls my age (23) that are uber mature. (i've been told by some good friends back home that i sometimes act like i'm 40.) :hs: i think i grew up too fast. heh...
     
  14. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    meep, as you said, you work by a "no-nonsense, driven approach." Women find this attitude cold and distancing. You won't make too many friends until you rise above this mind set.
     
  15. Killa B

    Killa B Abuse This!

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    I hear that all the time, usually it's an excuse for loving lots of attention from guys though.
     
  16. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    I'm a guy and I have mostly female friends and no guy friends. I've found that the girls that have all guy friends definately have female "qualities" as well--they are quite shallow themselves at times, but it seems to me the main reason they don't have girl friends is because they do not like competition from girls who out-shallow them. These girls only make friends with girls who pretty much worship them in some way. That way they do not feel threatened.
     
  17. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    hay, i know how you feel. i'm a girl and i have mostly guy friends, except for my sister. i dont feel like i am like other girls. yes, im straight, but i am not big into makeup and ummm i dont know, what do normal girls like? i just dont have any patience for the cattyness and basically stupidity of most girls. girls at work sometimes try to hang out with me but i never feel like hanging out with them. i often dont respect them and feel like they let men in their lives walk all over them. that seems to be a common theme and i have no patience for it. its rare i find a girl i can connect with, that seems "normal."
     

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