Need advice about living situation

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by JemmaX, Nov 7, 2007.

  1. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    INTRO:
    I hesistate to post this because I will get an overwhelming amount of responses telling me Im stupid and I shouldnt be doing this, but Im going to post because I hope there is someone out there that has done the same thing SUCCESSFULLY and has any sort of tips or advice for me to make it go as smoothly as possible.

    SITUATION:
    Boyfriend and I broke up. Dont know if you remember my thread about our sex life going down the tubes but it was inevitable. Problem is, we just bought a place together three months ago. Because the mortage is new, we would lose money if we sold right now. Also, our payment is higher than what we could rent the place for. If either of us moved out, the other could not afford the payment alone. Ive considered moving out and he can get roommates, but I dont want to move right now with Christmas and all. It isnt an option for him to move and me get roommates because I have kids. So our plan is to stay put until the end of January and re-evaluate then. We moved my son to the basement and separated our bedrooms. We try hard to get along while the kids are there, and for the most part succeed. We have always been great friends, so we try and focus on that.

    QUESTION:
    Has anyone else ever done this and had a good experience? I know most will say im crazy, and a lot of friends have already told me that, but without completely financially devastating myself I cannot do anything else. Advice?
     
  2. log2341

    log2341 New Member

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    Sounds like a cluster. Sorry the children have to go through that.
     
  3. Justin636

    Justin636 Active Member

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    My gf's Step mom and her bf are going through about the same thing. They are together technically, and sleep together in the same bed, but really they are just the best of friends and live together and have fun. You can tell there is nothing beyond that.

    Basically, if you guys can manage to stay friends and look past the relationship failing part, then I don't see a problem with it. With you having children, however, getting to a new stable home quickly would be best for you and them.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    it'll work until a third person enters the situation.
     
  5. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    I lived with my ex a few months after we broke up, it wasn't so bad, really.
     
  6. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    And barely at that. If you guys are having trouble right now being around each other it's only going to get worse for you and your child(ren?). I'm assuming you only care about moving during the wintertime because of stability for your kids, and if that's really what you are choosing to do you seriously need to be evaluating your other options the entire time. So that once Christmas is over you can move the fuck out ASAP and get on with your life.

    Kudos for ending th relationship and not just sticking with it when you knew it wasn't working.
     
  7. jazzmoney

    jazzmoney New Member

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    You shouldn't jump and do anything too quickly anyway since both your names are on the mortgage I assume?
    I suggest setting yourself a deadline like January 31st to have a place lined up to move into and either a roommate ready to take up your spot in the home or a Realtor who can sell homes quick.
    There's no reason why you guys can't continue to live together as friends for the short term. Doesn't sound like you guys broke up from anything traumatic, just serious differences...
    I live with one of my exs too for a few months after we broke up. It was okay until I could loudly hear her and her new boy toy fucking from outside the bedroom. Can make someone /themselves.
     
  8. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    Im glad to see other people have done it. I think it wouldnt be possible if the relationship ended traumatically (affair, abuse, etc) but what happened to us was we just kind of became more friends than a couple. The plan is to only do it for three months then re-evaluate. We may even be able to sell in the spring and get what we paid for, we just couldnt right now.

    We have talked about how neither of us are going to pursue any sort of relationship while in this situation out of respect for each other. It would be too sticky and too easy to have hurt feelings. But at the same time we dont want to put our lives on hold forever.

    I wrote a list of 'rules' for us, he laughed and thought it was silly but i thought it was needed. I guess I was wondering if anyone else had established any house rules while in this situation?
     
  9. k0in b4hd

    k0in b4hd New Member

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    get a better job
     
  10. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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    :hsugh: that's not usually an option, and if it was she's probably take it regardless of her current circumstances

    I agree that it might be bearable until a 3rd person enters, but I don't see a 'rule' limiting that

    hopefully it works out for you :hs:
     
  11. razi

    razi New Member

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    I lived with my ex for a few months after we broke up, because I couldn't afford a new place. We had to share the room still. It was a little awkward at first (the no snuggling part sucked), but we got through it. she's still a good friend of mine. luckily we didn't have to deal with a third person, that'd been hella uncomfortable.
     
  12. JemmaX

    JemmaX New Member

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    dont be such an ass. I make a lot more than you do :mamoru:

    i have an education, unfortunately the field its in is not super high paying, but its something i love. why dont you try buying a house in todays market and see how much extra you end up with each month. I picked up a second job a couple nights a week to be able to save money.
     
  13. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    just try to be adults and make the best of it, but you should be looking for a mutually happy way out asap since it probably wont last forever.
     

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