SRS NA Just For Today: December 11, 2004

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by eligh, Dec 12, 2004.

  1. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Misery Is Optional

    "No one is forcing us to give up our misery."
    Basic Text, p. 29
    It's funny to remember how reluctant we once were to surrender to recovery. We seemed to think we had wonderful, fulfilling lives as using addicts and that giving up our drugs would be worse than serving a life sentence at hard labor. In reality, the opposite was true: Our lives were miserable, but we were afraid to trade that familiar misery for the uncertainties of recovery.

    It's possible to be miserable in recovery, too, though it's not necessary. No one will force us to work the steps, go to meetings, or work with a sponsor. There is no NA militia that will force us to do the thing that will free us from pain. But we do have a choice. We've already chosen to give up the misery of active addiction for the sanity of recovery. Now, if we're ready to exchange today's misery for even greater peace, we have a means to do just that--if we really want to.

    Just for today: I don't have to be miserable unless I really want to be. Today, I will trade in my misery for the benefits of recovery.

    Just thought I'd post this up, was ironic reading it today, seemed to apply to my life.
     
  2. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Maybe, but I doubt it, I'm pretty miserable right now, and the less attention I get about it, the better. I could probably pull myself out by being productive, but something inside me just makes me want to sleep and vegetate. Maybe I'll hit a new low, and rebound out of it ... hopefully.
     
  3. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

    Joined:
    Sep 26, 2003
    Messages:
    23,163
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Jose, CA
    he was referring to himself :rolleyes:

    Maybe he's asking for help from those with experience, not just the general public.
     
  4. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    Yes, I am not an attention-whore, and I do not wish to be viewed as the tortured soul who got dealt a shitty hand in life. I do not like attention about "not being motivated to live" because frankly it's kind of embarassing to just sit around and be a lazy ass, especially when people keep asking me why I sleep 12 hours a day.

    However, I made this thread in hopes that someone makes a good suggestion, or shares how they overcame a similar problem. When I overcome this, I will share how I did it, in hopes that I can help someone else in a similar pickle.
     
  5. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington State
    so, I have a question for you, what are you doing for your recovery today? going to a meeting, talking to a sponsor? or just isolating. Isolating is bad for me. Sometimes life just hits all at once and we need to know it will change eventually, even if we do nothing, but being an active participant in our own lives usually changes it quicker. Such as talking about it, etc. Last week for me completely stunk, I was having panic/anxiety attacks, and I'm still not sure why, but I had to take a look at what was going on and what triggered me, and then I got better.

    Good luck

    PS - fresh air and sunshine sometimes help
     
  6. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    That's a good question. Yesterday, I went to a meeting, but I can't breathe on yesterday's air. I have been isolating now that I came home for school. Today, I wasn't planning on doing anything, but maybe I'll talk to my sponsor, and read my 9th step so I can actually work it. I've talked about it so much, I'm getting sick of it, I'm only semi-miserable now, but I slept in again ... maybe someday it will pass. Thanks for the question. I'm sure I should get outside a little too.
     
  7. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington State
    so, did you get outside? fresh air? call your sponsor? go to a meeting? how about this? find one person, either your sponsor or someone else, and check in every day until you feel better, also, find a newcomer and be kind to them - it will get you out of your own head

    keep coming back
     
  8. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    1,532
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    California
    I did get outside, played golf a couple of times. I talk to a friend almost every day, and I have been for a while, but things don't seem to get any better. Finding a newcomer and being nice to them is good ... I don't really feel comfortable around the meetings in this area ... I'll be heading to my home meeting area on the 2nd. I didn't call my sponsor, and I have been meaning to make amends which I haven't done yet. I am continuing to sleep in every 2nd or 3rd day, and every time I do, I either want to, or I am just really tired for no reason. I'm increasingly frustrated, I feel like my life's falling apart all over again ... I'm going to the doctor tommorow to see if there's anything physically wrong with me.

    If not, all I can do is go to meetings, talk to my sponsor and actually begin working the 9th step. I once again feel disconnected from my Higher Power, unmotivated and generally like every day gets worse. I don't enjoy hanging out with myself anymore. I've never felt this close to relapse ... I hope I snap out of this.
     
  9. metoots13

    metoots13 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2004
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Washington State
    sorry to hear you're still having a hard time. one of my friends mentioned to me that I should look at my third step again last month, because things weren't getting better at that time for me. so I did that, and remembered to do some of the stuff that would make me find my higher power again, because I wasn't being very spiritual, just acting lost and trying to take on too much of everyone else and not working on me. I was forgetting to take a 10th step at night and prayer and meditation weren't even in my life at all.

    this is a really hard time of year for me, so I get more and more busy so I don't have to think. Hang in there, relapsing is not any fun, I know that for a fact, and watching people in the meetings with early recovery and talking with some of my family members who have no recovery, makes me not want to go there again. Luckily I have 2 kids who both are in recovery (I know I put them through hell when I relapsed, and they should hate me, but they don't).

    I always remember that sometimes the suffering addict is me, so I be good to me at that time. Taking time out for me is important these days, but when you're depressed, even though its hard, it really helps to get out and do something nice for someone else. Go to a meeting and take someone out to coffee after, or at least go with the group if they go to coffee.

    hang in there
     

Share This Page