SRS My whole world kinda fell upside-down tonight

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Askesis, Dec 1, 2005.

  1. Askesis

    Askesis New Member

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    I'm not exactly sure where to begin, so bear with me. I'm sure this is going to be an extremely long post, but I need to get it off of my chest.

    My mom's been seeing this guy, we'll call him Tony, for years; probably 15 years or so. He's lived with us for probably 10 years or so. They aren't married, and I dont think they ever had plans to get married, but he's practically my step-father.

    Some background info on my family. I'm 21, and my sister is 18. My parents divorced when I was about five. My father lives about 30 minutes away. We are not super super close, but we are on good terms and are just like a normal father and son. My sister has lived with him for nearly five years. Before that, she used to live here with my mom, Tony, and myself. She moved out because she did not get along with us here, at all. Mainly her and my mother did not get along. We later found out through a lot of hard times, a lot of doctors visits, and a few hospitalizations that she has mental issues. She has bipolar disorder, and many of you know how bad that can be.

    She finally started making progress towards getting better a few years ago. She's been on all kinds of medicine, and today, she's down to only 100mg per day (though I'm not sure what medicine she is currently on).

    Over the past year, she has been remembering things from her childhood, probably ages 7-11 or so, when she lived here. They have been getting more detailed recently, and over the past month, she has even been getting nightmares. Simply, she has been regaining memories about her being sexually abused by Tony during those times. During the beginning of this one-year period, I guess she had been remembering some things, but not faces or specific details, but they have become clearer as time has progressed. She is now 100% positive she was molested (repeatedly), and is 100% positive who did it. She can, like I said, even remember specific instances where it happened.

    My sister said this was ongoing for probably four years, saying he happened at least once per week, obviously while my mother was at work. This was not, at least as far as my sister remembers right now, actual penis penetration, but it was groping, feeling, and insertion of fingers. My sister recalls that he would make comments like "Why don't you get into a dress so I can tickle you". Her, not knowing any better, would do it.

    My sister has had a lot of angst for Tony as far as I can remember. As I said, she used to not be able to stand him or my mother while she was living here, but after she moved out, her hatred toward my mother has faded, and they are currently actually on very good terms with each other. Meanwhile, her hatred for Tony has never ceased, even after them having pratically no contact over all these years. I never understood why she had such aggression towards him, but it all makes sense now. A lot of things make sense now.

    When my sister first moved in with my father, he was not able to touch her at all. He couldn't hug her, hold her hand, or put his hand on her shoulder, or anything. It all makes sense now. Apparantly when she used to visit my father on weekends, she would make comments like she was afraid of being molested, or something like that. A lot of things make sense now. We used to think that she had all of this rage built up because of her mental problems, and that might be true, but her mental problems could easilyt have been caused or enhanced by this.

    This morning, my mother confronted Tony about it (My father told my mother a week ago, and they both told me tonight), and he denied it of course. I'm worried about my mother. She is, of course, upset that this happened to my mother. She is upset that she was betrayed by somebody that she loves, and she is torn. She has one person that she loves (her daughter) telling her one thing, and she has another person that she loves (Tony) telling her something different. How can you go to someone you love and go "You're lying"? I can't even imagine being in her situation.

    I believe my sister, without a doubt. It's just extremely hard to grasp. Tony is probably the LAST person i would ever think to be a pedo, let alone act on it. This was absolutely, positively, a shocker. i'm full of mixed emotions right now: anger, sadness, betrayal, doubt, disbelief, confusion, etc.

    I was supposed to move out in the beginning of January to be closer to school (commuting an hour there and back five times a week sucks), and I'm not doing that now. I'm also most likely dropping my class load down to only 6 credits from 15 so I only have to commute two days. I just can't leave my mother alone through all of this (Yes, she's kicking him out). This will set me back briefly, but it's nothing too bad. And it's worth it to ensure my mother's well-being. Fall semester, I should be good to go, but I'm staying put for now.

    The financial situation will also be hard, but managable. I will be working more now that I won't be going to school as much. So I will be able to help my mom with the bills, no problem.

    I'm sure there's a few things I forgot about, and I will post them if I think of them. I will also answer any questions. It helps just talking about it. For the few of you that know me in real life, do me a favor and please don't let it leave this forum (but you can talk to me one on one one over aim of you want).
     
  2. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    These whole "later relevations of abuse" make me wonder. I think a lot of them are just manifest anxiety through imagination.

    So think on what you said: your sister has mental issues, and you'd never think that Tony would pull this crap. So why do you want to believe it now?
     
  3. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Its easy to block stuff like that out sometimes. After a while you wil start to remeber. I don't think its to impossivle to be real.
     
  4. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    I'm not saying it's impossible, just that it's very unlikely to be true.
     
  5. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    I think professional help is in order.
     
  6. Askesis

    Askesis New Member

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    There's only one person on this site that really knows me, and I haven't seen or talked to her in forever. Anyone else who knows me I've only met at a meet, and they know absolutely nothing about my family.
     
  7. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Damn, that's messed up :eek3: I never would have expected him to be a pedo.
     

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