SRS My story

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by anomaly, Dec 10, 2003.

  1. anomaly

    anomaly If you weren't around for the original spli

    Oct 12, 2000
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    I was sexually abused at 5. I bring this up because it taught me what I took up as my #1 priority in life for the next 12 years. Im going go give you as little or nothing as possible to get the most possible from you.
    I started drinking for effect at 9. I lived in Texas and there was a fridge for beer, and I saw people do it, tried it, liked it, and kept doing it from time to time till I was 11. At 11 I moved to Virginia, and went through super culture-shock. The only kids that I met that I related to and liked got high and drank, so I got high and drank. Within a month I was smoking daily and dealing. By 12 I had been arrested at school for distrobution of pot. My parents put me into rehab. This was my first introduction to AA/NA. I liked it, I knew it's where I belonged, I also knew I wasn't yet ready to put real effort into getting sober. So after 2 years with periodic relapses, I talked to my sponsor quite extensively about my wish to go back out. I did so on Dec 31st 1999. By March 1999 I was again getting high almost daily and dealing. Everything went well till February 2001 when I was in a drug and alcohol related car accident. We hit a tree at 70mph. I fractured a vertabre, broke my collar bone and my sternum. A girl was in critical condition for 2 weeks after the wreck.
    I swore that night I wasn't going to get high again. I had had enough, and was scared. I was 100% honest and true with myself when I said it. 2 days later I was snorting my pain meds. In those 2 days I had justified it to 'I'll quit smoking pot, and just take my pain meds as perscribed, just snort them." This is what introduced me to opiates, obviously. I had been heavily into LSD, DMT, and MDMA for about 6 months previous to this. After about 6 weeks of being on the opiates I got tired of it and went back to smoking pot. Again everything was fine for awhile. I would periodically over dose, and my friends would make sure I was alive etc. Then something very weird happened. In June of 2001 I started a 3 month black out. I had been using primarily LSD for a few months previous to that. When I say that I mean in the range of 50 gel tabs a week for several months. I still don't have any idea what happened in those 3 months. My parents tried to piece it back together for me, and I have no idea.
    My life started to, what I consider, go downhill in September 2001. I was using my usual coctail of pot, lsd, dmt, alcohol, and some other things thrown in when I was bored. Then, the girlfriend who I had been with since 2000 decided she was going to stop taking her bi-polar meds, and that she wanted to do heroin. About this time I started getting into smoking glass (really pure meth) and freebasing or snorting heroin. I refused to let her because I cared about her. By November she was cheating on me with an old abusive boyfriend who would give her heroin. By December she had cheated on me with to her own admission, was more than 15 guys, I had no idea I woulda left her.
    The pain of those last months would forever change my life. The story of my journey into early sobriety will come tomorrow.
  2. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

    Sep 26, 2003
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    San Jose, CA

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