LGBT My story

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by DustinInTheWind, Mar 4, 2009.

  1. okay so here it goes...

    i have always been straight. as far as all my friends, family, co-workers etc.. they think i am straight.. I had always kind of been interested in the gay community though. I always would get kind of excited when i was around gays... it is kind of hard to explain. despite that i dated girls until recently..

    anyhow, one day my buddy who is on these forums let me use his account to check it out, just by chance. for some reason i went straight to 'the closet' and started looking around.
    soon after i was really getting into gay porn and just really falling in love with... well.. cock to be perfectly honest.

    so the problem became that of my family, co-workers and friends, most of them are homophobes. i would casually bring the subject up to them, only to get a slew of crap about how nasty and wrong it is. this really came as a shock to me.. i really have maybe one friend who would stand by me... so basically i have been living in hiding and it is really boiling over. now i feel like if i dont tell someone i am going to loose it. i feel so crappy having to lie to everyone around me. at work ppl talk about chicks they want to do and i have to sit there and be a shallow guy with them. i hate it. i hate myself for it...
    all this pretty much led to me making an account here...

    so i am going to get this of my chest now

    IM GAY!

    there i did it. i really just needed to tell someone even if it was a room full of strangers.... im sure yall get a bunch of these but i was going to have a freaking break down... thanks for reading...
     
  2. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    don't rush anything, take your time. realize there's nothing wrong with you.
    what's wrong is the way people perceive you, which is most likely not even their fault, just what they have come to believe.

    mostly just relax and accept this about yourself, the rest will come naturally. :hug:
     
  3. geniks

    geniks king of the hill

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    *high five*. Don't worry about lying about it, everyone does it up to a certain point until they are ready ;)! I suggest going out to gay bars, finding a new friends who will accept you for who you are ;)
     
  4. blaq19

    blaq19 New Member

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    What Novo said.
     
  5. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Some questions:

    How old are you? Are you in school or in the working world? Do you live with your family or with roommates or on your own?


    Regarding your friends, if they are your true friends, they'll stick by you and love you regardless if you are straight or gay. Same for your family, but it may take them some time to adjust (as you are doing right now... taking time to adjust to these feelings).

    Point being, Novo said it best. Take your time... Maybe experiment a little (safely!) with other guys to see what you like and don't like. Maybe date a little. And learn about yourself before you start telling friends and family.

    And you really can rely on us to help you with questions or concerns. I know I kinda just ripped you a new one over in the "post your picture" thread, but I'm just a bitch sometimes. However, many of the guys in here can be a great resource for you.

    Good luck in your journey. And know this one thing: You are not alone! Ever!!! None of us are ever alone as long as we have each other.
     
  6. thank you everyone!

    to answer:
    im 21
    going to college
    full time job, actually in my career already...
    still live at home with my pops (he is sick)

    i am a bit nervous about it, but am going to my first gay bar tonight actually...
    I do have 1 gay fried to talk to about these things thank god, but i have my concerns about getting out there and 'finding' what i like. i dont want to get in a position (no pun intended) that i am uncomfortable in and than have to stop somebody in the middle of something, if that makes any sense...
     
  7. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    So, you're young... You've got plenty of time to figure this shit out.

    College is a GREAT place to be for experimenting. Plenty of college guys are experimenting. Plus, you've probably got some sort of GSA (gay straight alliance) on campus that you could get involved in.

    So, while you live at home, it may not be the best time to come out to the family. The best time to come out is when you're out on your own and financially indpendent from them. I mean, if you get in a huge fight with the parents about this, it's easier to leave and go to your apartment than to your room.

    Regarding getting into an uncomfortable position (pun appreciated), that's why you should try to find someone who understands that this would be your first time. Communication is key with this kind of thing. And you must make a pact with yourself to stop/leave when it gets uncomfortable. That's the key to experimenting with anything (drugs, sports, etc)... when it gets uncomfortable, stop! Don't be afraid to stop someone. If they are a good person, they'll completely understand. Just promise you'll practice safe sex (until you find that Mr. Right and make the commitment to be monogamous)
     
  8. you are probably the best person in the world for telling me that... there is a lot of good advice there. i just got to be very forth coming (second pun intended) with the other person and tell them im a noob at this... u have really put that into perspective and ill be sure to keep safety in my back pocket lol.. the last thing i want is to catch something!
     
  9. NOVAJock

    NOVAJock Modded & Underrated

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    A-MEN SISTA!

    ALLELUIA

    :mamoru:
     
  10. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    Welcome, things work out, just give it time. We have all been there before and will be there to help you out if you need anything :wavey:
     
  11. Sam Gamgee

    Sam Gamgee Every tool is a weapon if you hold it right. OT Supporter

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    Great.

    Have fun at the gay bar tonight.

    Just keep an open mind and stay within your comfort zone. There will likely be a lot of sensory overload tonight. Lot's of guys, lots of loud music, probably some weird lighting, and alcohol thrown in the mix. Just try to take it all in (pun intended), observe and learn.

    And tell people that this is your first time in a gay bar... maybe you'll get a couple of free drinks out of it. :mamoru:

    And let us know how it goes... :)
     
  12. thanks again for the support guys, it's so weird b/c i thought this was a clean cut issue. like you suddenly knew and switched over like a light switch or something, but there is a large gray area here...

    i am excited as i said about the gay bar, but i wish i had someone to go with me, i plan on going solo tonight (pun intended, unless i go home with someone)
     
  13. MeanGreen

    MeanGreen New Member

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    they took me a while to get used too. I still get a little uneasy from time to time, or kinda feel that i don't fit in. It doesn't help that the bears are very hands on :mamoru:
     
  14. Dustin, your story is identical to mine...

    If you want to chat on AIM, "deeeeetrik" is my name. I think I could help you out.
     
  15. i would. when r u on?
     
  16. Usually at night. PM me ur AIM name. :o I'm on now but I'm about to go shower and all that shiat.
     
  17. and whats ur sn?
     
  18. umm not sure if i can send pm's as i dont have a full membership, but i tried...
     
  19. Got ur PM and replied.

    My AIM name is:

    deeeeetrik

    not on now though, gonna go find some late lunch/breakfast...early dinner? :dunno: not that hungry though. grr.
     
  20. k, i added u..
     

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