SRS my story. :(

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by misha, Sep 24, 2006.

  1. misha

    misha New Member

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    I am a russian jew. I went to israel last summer on an organised peer trip. hundreds of yound people ages 18-26 . The I met a girl from LA who is also a russian jew. I am from Atlanta. She was there with her best friend, and so was I. We hung out the whole time in large goups and had a blast. when we returned and couple of weeks later I decided to give her a call and see what was going on. We gradually began talking more and more frequently. On my way back from israel I met a girl at JFK and we hit it off pretty good. Started seeing eachother. The conversations with the LA girl became more frequent. She began calling me at nights when she was out partying and telling me she misses me. I enjoyed the attention and thats about it. Couple of month later in October she went to miami with friends and I drove down to hang out.(nothing more) So it happened thatwe made out on several occations. From then on it became crazy. She would call me every time when she was out and tell me how great, amazing i was and how much she wanted to be with me. I assumed it was drunken ramblings and didnt react. She acted way differently when sober. In Feb I broke up with the girl I was seeing. In april I went to NY for my uncles bday. She came up also because she was planning a trip. We spent an amazing time with eachother in NY. A month later I flew out to LA to visit her. Once again we spent an amazing time together. At last day while lying in bed, she hinted that she loved me. I didnt say it back. Couple of weeks after I got back home. And being completely misserable without her, I finally told her that I loved her. Our relationship reached a peak at that point. We were both walking on clouds. Next month she visited me, and it Was amazing. Then it went downhill. Realization set in that this cannot last forever that in order to be together someone has to make a sacrifice. Since she still has 3 years of school left and I have 1 we decided I would move when i graduate. From here on the downfall began. Once I released my feelings I couldnt hold back. I became extremely jealous and overprotective, irritated and scared that I would loose her. She started becoming more distant. Eventually it got to the point where she would tell me that she was very scared that if I move and things dont work out she would have taken me away from my friends and family. She was becoming more and more distant everyday. It felt like I loved her more than she loved me. I couldnt take it anymore and told her we shouldnt speak to eachother any longer. It has been a week.

    My brain tells me that I did the right thing. Once the challange was over for her she wasnt interested. She was afraid to end it so she did everything so I would.

    but on the other hand I keep feeling that i made a bad decision. That she in fact was so afraid of making me leave my family and friends for her that she would rather us not be together.

    I see her cheking my myspace daily and reading what i write to my friends. We are still on eachothers top 1 spot. I dont know if its because that is the last link we have, or because once again she doesnt want to hurt me by removing it. (she always said she would never do anyting to hurt me).

    I am afraid our stubborness will prevent us from speaking to eachother again even if we were meant to be.
     
  2. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Well I think it's the distance that killed it more than anything else.. You probably knew it wouldn't work out, and that's why you had a different relationship..

    I guess the problem right now (in this day and age) and it looks like in your case as well, is that both men and women are scared of making sacrifices to be together. They seem to be preoccupied with themselves, and with that comes the fear of commitment. Not that there is anything wrong with that, but I think in the past (10 or so) years ago people acted differently..
     
  3. misha

    misha New Member

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    I was ready to give up everything and go there for her. I just dont know whether she is truthfull in her fear of me leaving everything for her. Or was she just telling me that I dont have feeling for you anymore but instead of telling you Im gonna pretend Im a good person and not take you away from your family.
     

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