I'm not going to do cliffs, but i could use OT advise on this situaition, ive never stumbled accross this subforum but if i posted in the main id get nothing but abuse. So i 'dated' this girl briefly, at the end of 2008, only for a month, it was never serious, it ended because she went overseas for two months, when she got back neither of us ever put any proactive effort in to pick it up, so i just left it there and continued to be friends, it really wasnt that big of a deal, i got another gf and moved on. Anyway me and this girl broke up, she got wind of it and put in a rather large amount of effort to get back with me, i figured this seemed to be what she really wanted so i went along with it. We continued 'dating' in what was a secrative way, as in, she told no one and barely anyone actually knew, but we went in public places together, i think it was fairly obvious but for reasons only known to her at the time, she said she didnt want to call it a proper relationship, despite it feeling like one to me, as in, constant activities, constant communication, it seemed like she actually really cared, she would go out of her way to do nice things for me etc etc, i bought up the reason as to why we arn't officially dating maybe 3 times over the course of the three months, it would never turn into a fight, but she kept saying "its not because i want to sleep around, ive just had bad experiences with guys in past" it seemed a bit suss too me at the time, but i really liked the girl and we were having a good time, so stupidly i let it slide. Anyway a couple of weeks ago we went to university group event thing, and long story short in which she proceeded to hook up with some random guy infront of me, and ignore me completely the whole night The worst thing is, afterwards she comes up to me and asks if we're leaving now (i was the only sober one), so we went out driving with a few other friends, there was obviously something wrong with her, she started crying and shit in the back of the car, and wouldn't say a word. I was like ok... I stayed at hers, try and fight with her about it, but the nice girl is gone and i just get this iritating bitch who wont even speak about the issue. I couldnt sleep, so i got up and got on her computer, her facebook was left logged in. So i decided id go through the private messages, and i found that she was actually doing the same thing to another guy at the time. I know of this guy, but the messages between them, they were clearly having sex, and she was acting pretty much the same was as she does to me in it. Since i was practically living with her and with her every day she must have been pretty sly, im quite a suspicious guy and never got wind of it at all. I left the house, my care level shot to 0 after reading that. After that she writes me some long ass message about how she sabotages everyone she cares about blah blah blah, went on for pages, never once said sorry. And every since that she's been trying to act like nothing happened, shes very bitter at me because i dont really want much to do with her and is trying her hardest to lure me back in, i never told her that i went through her facebook, i feel for both of our sake (mutual friends all that) its just easier like that. The thing is i still really like the girl., and for some reason deep down im not that mad and are glad she is trying to put the effort in, its not that i cant find someone else, i easily could, its just, shes been the one i wanted for the past year... Im finding it hard to drag myself away, but are conciously not responding to her. I dunno, i need someone who actually has experience with this to kick me into line.