SRS My social life sucks

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by DPoon, Dec 27, 2006.

  1. DPoon

    DPoon .

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    I just wanted to say my social life has pretty much hit a brick wall and I want to change that. For the past 2 years all I have been doing is sitting at home and playing WoW. Im a really shy and quiet guy in person, and that caused me to lose the one person whom I like/cared about the most.

    I really don't have friends whom I keep in touch with, as most of my older friends were bad influences on me. Its hard for me to meet people, as stated above im a really shy guy in person. And if I do meet someone or new people, I suck at keeping a conversation, suck at making people laugh, etc..

    Altough I do spend alot of my time on WoW, I do work 40 hours a week. However I really dont see myself becoming good friends and hanging out with the people I work with outside of work. Im not into the popular night scenes like clubs, bars, etc.

    I really don't have anyone to talk to about this so I thought I'd just post this here. I'm basically looking to change my personality, my social life, etc. I want to get out of my shy and quietness. I would like to be funny, but not annoying. I would like to be able to hold conversations, be more witty. Meet new people, start new hobbies.

    I really don't know what else to say but i want to change, and I want to change now. However, I know this will take time
     
    Last edited: Dec 27, 2006
  2. Nickname

    Nickname New Member

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    i know what ur talkin bout, ive wasted at least half a year playing CSS, that killed all my relations... b4 i was quite popular, but, i dunno even much why, i decided to play it safe, so i nearly stopped going out.

    But when ive realised that this is too much, ive said fck it, this life aint worth it, better b annoying, unliked, beaten whatever than just waste time like this...

    the easiest and lamest way is to do drugs or join some nihilist blackwearing bunch, but none of these r ideal

    maybe u just need to risk it too, to keep talking even if it would b stupid as hell... what u can loose?

    i dont c whats wrong about bars... its like dating agency but working... and except this i suppouse that u can make nuff useful relations there, and if u got relations u got everything starting with great job and finishing with many presents on ur birthday... for example i was at the bar yesterday\today and ive met round 15 new ppl, unfortunately once again no chick that met my criterias..

    another way is to take some courses like painting, dancing, anything... just look into the class and decide if u like those ppl that r there, if yeah, u know what to do...

    also u may start smoking, i know that i may sound like bad influence, but always works, when u r at the group of ppl, to bitch on someone they dont like, or to break some rules...

    and u can also start to build ur confidence... if u will believe that u r cool ppl around u will start to believe it too... if ud think that u r not funny and lame ppl will do the same... friend of mine build his confidence with going to gym and working out... he was selfloving sooner than the any muscle was visible through his fat :big grin:

    btw i think bout myself that im funny and i also think that helped me that ive read many jokes and i remebered em and started to apply on real situations...
     
  3. Electric_Church

    Electric_Church New Member

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    gym is good.
    excercise hobbies.
    new hobbies
     
  4. V!

    V! New Member

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    Get a new hobby that involves other people
    Go to the gym
    Join a club in your town

    Break your computer office space style
     
  5. Seraph

    Seraph Guest

    you're never going to change your ways unless you change everything else in your life. learn to like going to bars. learn to like going to clubs. those are all social places and you probably dont like them because you have no social skills. (no offense, of course)

    you cant just wake up one morning and be funny and have a sociable personality. it takes some work. get out and start meeting people and the rest will take care of itself.
     
  6. FredBull

    FredBull *******

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    limit your internet time, unless it's spent on myspace or whatever to actually meet people in real life
     
  7. cls

    cls Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in

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    I've never made any real friends with the people I work worth. I think we get tired of seeing eachother so much and it's too much to hang out outside of work in addition.

    As far as improving your personality, people will want to talk to you more if you show a more genuine interest in them as people. Make it a game where you try to ask the other person as much as possible about themselves without talking about yourself at all. Try to remember personal details about the person you can bring up if you see them again.

    As far as hobbies, you simpy have to get over your fear of trying something new. It's very easy to write things off as boring or uninteresting, but if you really want to change, you've got to bite the bullet and try things you never would've thought you'd like. Try swing dance lessons (any dance lesson is awesome for meeting people), piano lessons, church, going to a gym, work-related classes, habitat for humanity, etc. These are the kinds of things that will make you a more interesting person.

    At least, this is what I've done and it's helped a lot :hs:
     
  8. cls

    cls Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in

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    I don't really like these places and I'm pretty social. However, he should at least try them and make an effort to experience them.
     
  9. DPoon

    DPoon .

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    Id like to get into a hobby that involves other people, but I can't really think of what.

    Im not to fond of the big party/clubbing scene is that I dont like being around drunk people.

    Im not expecting for a miracle to happen where I change over night, becuase I know realistically that is not happening.
     
  10. Seraph

    Seraph Guest


    i agree. i hate clubs. but at his age and in his 40 hr work week situation, bars/clubs are the only places he's going to get practice on working on his social skills and he'll have the best chance of meeting people
     
  11. cls

    cls Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in

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    Play some sport in an intramural league, take dancing lessons (swing, salsa, ballroom, etc), participate in a charity/volunteer group, etc.. There's a lot of options.
     
  12. cls

    cls Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in

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    This is not true. Take a look at the examples I've given.

    I meet tons of people and rarely go to bars/clubs. The times I have gone I hang out with my friends, not usually with strangers at the bar.
     
  13. Seraph

    Seraph Guest


    yes, but not many people will have an interest in swing dance. he may suck at playing instruments, his religious belief may not be that of any organized religion, and most people in a gym want to be left alone.

    the last place i would advise an anti-social person to go would be swing dance lessons. if he cant even talk to a woman, i doubt he'll be any better off trying to dance with one. and since when are piano lessons a social place? maybe if he wants to meet six year olds
     
  14. Jaeger

    Jaeger Guest

    Fuck the "discos"! Try Happy Hour at places like the bars at TGIFs, Applebees, Cheddars (no smoking ftl :wtc: ), Chilis, etc. Not as noisy where you can't talk.

    Go to the college and take some adult learning classes like cooking. Lots of women in there. Since the main objective is to cook, you won't be nervous like at a bar.

    Another good class to take is Child Growth and Development. It's a requirement for Nurses, which means lots of women who will make BU-COO BUCKS. You will be required (I was) to make speeches about some child related issues. One I did was on the Salvation Army. I spent a day there and interview some people about the children that go through there and what they do for children. When I gave my speech to the women I quivered their tear glands and apparently their puddy-tats because I HAD THE NUMBERS AFTERWARDS! :hsd: I'm a devious muddafugga! :mamoru: Anyway, real good class, everybody should take it.
     
  15. cls

    cls Though I have fallen, I will rise. Though I sit in

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    I've met many many girls taking dance lessons. In fact, if you wanted to get someone's phone number, dance lessons are the easiest place to meet people and do that. Honestly, the worse you are the easier it is to make jokes and lighten the mood. Everyone is a beginner, so no one is impressing anybody.

    He asked for more hobbies :dunno: Learning a musical instrument will make you a more interesting person. I meet a lot of people playing in different bands.

    I think the attitude you have is the exact one that the original poster is trying to get away from. You're shooting down all of my ideas. He needs to try new things, even if he thinks he won't like them.
     
  16. Seraph

    Seraph Guest

    i just dont see a WoW fanatic going to swing dance lessons to break out of his shell. the fact is he just needs to realize that his life is going to really suck unless he does something about it, grows a pair, and stops worrying so much about what others think. its sort of blunt, but there's not other kind way to put that.

    life wont be good to someone who sits back and has no drive/initiative. plus, social skills usually runs hand in hand with success in the work place. some people are introverted, others are extroverted. a rare few may be able to switch from one to the other at this stage in the poster's life, but i dont see this happening until he forces himself to completely change. you also may try to read self-help books, listen to tapes, or consult a psychiatrist if you cant do it alone
     
  17. CrazyInteg

    CrazyInteg Honda-Acura.net OG

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    This has not directly affected me meeting girls. Yes I did meet some cool guys, but we don't really hang out. The girls are like anti-guy at my gym.

    But indirectly, the gym has helped alot. It has given me some confidence mainly because I look better and feel better. It also helps tremendously in the bedroom when you do catch that girl.


    A super nerd buddy of mine does ultimate frisbee for the university team. He meets alot of people on there and has alot of fun.

    I've been thinking lately about going back to college just to meet some girls. It is so easy at school to meet people. "Hey bitch lets go study together! holla!"
     
  18. DPoon

    DPoon .

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    well i have played wow for the past 2 years every single day. and tbh, im getting really really bored of the game. for the past 2-3 weeks, i felt like not raiding at all.

    i just recently started watching other tv shows which i normally dont watch, which may help me a bit with conversations.

    But, where would i look for these said clubs? i have been thinking about doing some crisis/charity thing, and i know it would be nice to do something like this, but at the end i dont know if i could actually commit doing it though
     
  19. DPoon

    DPoon .

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    i've been thinking about going back to school as well, maybe taking 1 or 2 night courses. But i feel at my age, which im 26 btw, i would feel a little akward.

    i wish i wasnt such a fuck up at school and went to a major university and lived in a dorm. because i think that would have helped alot.
     
  20. CrazyInteg

    CrazyInteg Honda-Acura.net OG

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    Dude, I'm 25. When I went to college before, there were plenty of 26-30 year olds. Hell there were 40 year olds in some of my upper level classes. Just make sure you dont take some class that's going to be completely useless to you. Do something that actually interests you and will have girls in it.
    Examples: business, education, sports, basic sciences (astronomy "Hey babe lets go look at stars")
     
  21. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    i quit wow at 16 and i still felt i quit too late.
     
  22. Seraph

    Seraph Guest


    if you dont mind my asking, how old are you?
     
  23. DPoon

    DPoon .

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    Im 26
     
  24. novo

    novo Pokey Man OT Supporter

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    there's only one way to get good at anything and that's practice.

    so if you want to be funny, you need to go practice.

    if you want to be sociable, you need to go practice.

    don't be too self concious, people pay attention to confidence and feel akward if you're acting nervious/anxious.
    so just relax and be honest.
     
  25. Seraph

    Seraph Guest

    unfortunately, there are no step by step instructions on how to be funny and make friends. people can tell you what works for them, but you telling the same joke as me will always come out different because we're different people.

    just like the dude above said, practice and constant interaction is the only way youll figure anything out.

    just always approach everything with the mindset of "who gives a fuck?" this will help you get over many initial fears.

    if you think someone is judging you, or looking at you funny, who gives a fuck? if you approach a girl and she disses you, learn from it and say who gives a fuck? we all get turned down from time to time.

    if you always give a fuck what people think about you, youll always be playing WoW, and that really isnt a life you want to lead forever. youve already missed out on so much. fortunately youre still young enough to meet women, so act now and dont fuck around. just go do it. thats all i can tell you
     

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