my SO is...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Sunami, Aug 5, 2005.

  1. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    a germaphob. When we started going out she had trouble sharing food and drinks etc, but eventually she got over it, which was actually at the time a huge sign that she liked me. Fast forward to now we've been together for quite some time. On and off of course. Sexually everything is fine, but i feel so incomplete because she doesn't give me bj's. It's not a big deal really, but i can't help but think what i might be missing out on. she tells me she feels kind of bad that she feels incomfortable with it, but i try to reassure her its cool. i feel unjust in pressuring her into doing it. It should be on her own free will not my needling. once a long time ago she almost did it in the shower... but that failed to materialize. teasing sucks

    she's also scared of anal because she heard it hurts a lot the first time. I don't want her to be in pain either. *sigh* this sucks. seems as tho im missing out and she might be too heh

    anyways any suggestions?

    granted she really is quite the germaphob which i can't really relate to, but u take the good with the bad right?
     
  2. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :sad2: hrm... this has happened to me as well. i LOVE giving oral to guys (mainly cause i love to see them squirm ;)).

    anyways, i think it's good that the two of you have open communication about your dislikes and likes in the bedroom because it truly is important. do you go down on her? i think there should be some compromise with relationships, even sexually. it's important to be sexually compatible. is that the most important thing? no, of course not. i'm not saying that they have to be the BEST in order to be with them. practice will eventually reach perfection ;) (well, maybe not, but we can die trying, right?) honestly? i don't think i'd be able to date a guy that wouldn't give oral.

    i'm happy that you don't nag her with your desires because that'll have the opposite effect. in fact, if i ever hear a guy i'm with mention that he wants oral or "give him a bj," i'm turned off. he'll get his, but nagging is just not the way to go...

    i'm not sure how you can overcome this with her germ issue. part of me wants to believe that she's not experienced with it enough which is why she doesn't feel comfortable doing it. that's normal. i expressed that concern with the first guy i was with, and it made it easier to talk about how i could improve...

    :dunno: that said, it could be that she'll never do it. maybe giving oral just isn't in her cards. what you decide to do from here, is up to you. if you're constantly thinking "what-if's," maybe the relationship isn't for you. if you can deal with not having oral in your life, then proceed :) :)o...personally, after having good oral in your life, there's no turning back ;))

    imo, it's more than just deciding to do the deed. it's about being willing to try new things. if there's more no's than yes's, the compatibility factor doesn't rank high. just remember, you cannot change people in life ;).

    i will tell you this, tho... if she's not going down on you, you shouldn't be going down on her. i'm all about fairness in relationships, in every aspect, mind you! if she decides that it's something she missed, she'll think twice about not reciprocating ;)
     
  3. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    :down: I usually more or less agree with you are see where you are comming from, but i don't agree with this advice at all. tit for tat in relationships is not the way to go. I don't go down on my girl as payback, or to earn BJ points, I do it because I enjoy it and she enjoys it. Sex should be done out of caring and affection... its not some kind of business deal where you should be worried about getting the short end of the stick. If she makes an honest effort to make me as happy as I try to make her, well thats fair. Even if there are some particulars that i might like that she simply cant do. That being said, if shes got hang ups on 2/3 of the obvious choices, shes going to have to be pretty creative in order to look like shes making an honest effort, specially since she is cutting off the only two that involve any real work/effort/discomfort/etc on her part...

    my only advice is to make it clear to her, that while you are ok working with what she is comfortable with that she should remember that she is expected to put some effort into your sex life and that sometimes you are going to want to kick back, relax, and enjoy yourself with her just concentrating on taking care of you.

    edit: i had a girl who didnt give oral, but loved getting it.. wasnt so bad.. she let me :buttsex: tho, so at least it didnt come accross as selfishness
     
  4. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    you can try all you want but it's like brocolli. some people love it, some people are ok with it, some people will eat it if they have to, and some people will puke at the thought of it. if it really bothers you, get a new gf, or just deal with it.

    ps. if i were you, i'd get her drunk, talk dirty to her all night and get her turned on, then take a shower with her.

    pss. blowjobs...yeah you are missing out. sorry dude :hsd:

    psss. anal....not missing anything there.
     
  5. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    thanks for the response. My SO is the only girl I've ever had sex with so obviously i've never experienced oral sex. YOu say once you experience them there may be no turning back hah. I guess the silver lining is I haven't so it's not like i know what im missing out on.

    She's ann awesome girl so I would never break up her because she refuses to give me oral. I was just reading the message boards and felt curious and a tad unsatisfied that I haven't had this kind of sexual experience. like you said it might just not be in the cards. the sex is great btw and I am very happy she takes BC. Those are things I appreciate because it does suck on girls the side affects.

    I am spoiled in some ways haha. Condoms suck

    I do give her oral though, but she gets off more with good old fashion intercourse.

    one last useless question. Does eating asparagus make the woman's pussy smell/taste bad? vis versa with pinneapple?
     
  6. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    likewise... i don't go down on guys because i want oral, i do it because i like it. however, i like to receive to. i think everything should be give/receive.

    i agree that relationships should not be about business deals, but sometimes one person in a relationship is more apt to trying new things, whereas the other person is dead set against it. how fun would that be? i certainly want to date someone who's open to new things.

    i agree with the honest effort bit, and i think that's important as well. the fact that his gf shows that she's upset about not being able to please him that way shows that she cares about him. i honestly do think she wants to please him, she just is scared about going through with it. whether that'll change, i don't know.

    hrm.... not really sure if i understand you here. :sad2:
     
  7. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    she just doesn't like having precum in her mouth. The thought of it kind of grosses her out and yes she is very caring and feels badly she "can't" do it.

    anytime she gives me a handjob and I start leaking precum she always tells me to get a kleenex to wipe it off haha. It's kind of funny. She always says hey your cock is "crying". lol

    it's out of my control and this was just a rant i suppose

    there really is not much i can do to make her more comfortable or maybe there is. I was just wondering if anybody had a girl who didn't want to give bj's but was convinced or had a turn around because of advice etc
     
  8. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :rofl: i have to admit, i actually laughed at the "cock crying" part. that shit's hilarious...
     
  9. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    lol yea.

    her "your cock is crying... aww wipe it's tears away."
    me "why don't you kiss it to make it all better."
    her *slap* "you know how i feel about it
    me "i'm just kidding baby."
     
  10. Matrixballer04

    Matrixballer04 New Member

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    I have to ask....but what is an SO? Ive seen it all over thsi forum and I cant figure out what it means.

    Thanks
     
  11. Sunami

    Sunami New Member

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    SO = Significant Other
     
  12. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    ahaha so true. :rofl::rofl:
     

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