SRS My roommate is a cheater

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by gkremian, Feb 5, 2007.

  1. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I'm a college student, in a dorm room with one of my friends who I went to high school with. He is in a LTR and a LDR, more than two and a half hours of driving time. His girlfriend is still in high school, and we both started attending college. My roommate is a cool guy, but he is in no way monogomous. It has never really bothered me that he has cheated on her. When I said cheating, I say that in the term of him making out with other girls and ending up shirtless with other girls, but never having sex. Last night (while I was in the room watching a movie) he ended up with his hand of the pants of a girl who travels in our circle of friends. Only an hour or so earlier, that girl broke things off with her interest and ended up in our room. They got pretty baked and ended up in some major foreplay.

    What pisses me off is that about a week ago, my roommate and I, and my best friend Justin, had a conversation with my roommate where he said things would change :rolleyes: and he was trying to be monogomous. Clearly, that didn't last :hsugh:. The other thing that pisses me off is that my roommate is fooling around with someone in our circle of friends, which could rip the entire group apart. My friend Justin and myself consider ourselves to be the more objective, moral members of the group, and we have no idea what we're going to do.

    I need to vent and ask for advice: what the hell should I do about this? If I don't say anything, nothing will happen. but I'll be bothered. His girlfriend deserves so much more respect than she gets, but she knows nothing of his infidelity. I feel horrible for her. If I do say something to him (besides the joking, he knows that I know) I create strife in our harmonious room. I could try to communicate but I know him and I know people, and I believe that it won't change anything. If I tell the group, the group may more or less crack down on both of them and then everything goes to hell. What the hell should I do?:eek4:
     
  2. Crush

    Crush Epidural hematoma up in this bitch

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    It's not your job to be the police, I would suggest staying out of it completely. He will get caught red handed eventually, people always do.
     
  3. sp0rk in the ear

    sp0rk in the ear New Member

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    Stay out of it. It's not your war
     
  4. mrchina

    mrchina Guest

    Yea, basically just stay out of it. Not your place to be the morality police. You're going to be much better off. If the girl asks you anything just say you don't know anything and that's it.
     
  5. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Sounds good to me, thanks.
     
  6. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    its ur job as a bro to keep ur mouth shut, period.
     
  7. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    It's my job as a bro to keep my mouth shut, therefore suspending my own sense of morals or ethics? I'm supposed to compromise with myself on my own standards to protect a cheater? :eek3:
     
  8. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Ur supposed to keep ur mouth shut cuz he's ur bro. Only bitches and fags snitch.
     
  9. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

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    dont get in the middle of it. deny everything when its asked later.
     
  10. purplebeast

    purplebeast The depths of hell and endless torture await all h

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    Amen!!
    U know what tho. Re-reading Mr gkremian's post. i get the feeling he is

    A- Jelous he aint getting no play
    B- Has a crush on his boys girl
     
  11. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    It is simply a judgement call.

    If you don't like what is happening and believe the other person has a right to know, then tell them.

    Personally I would stay out of such thing, but I would not lie if asked about it
     
  12. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I watched my dad have an affair and rip my family apart. I've cheated in the past, and regret it horribly. Cheating is inexcusable. I'm staying out of it, but I'm not going to not say anything "because I'm a bro". I'll not say anything because it's probably better for the harmony of the group right now.

    That, or I'll do another thing that was recommended to me: not lie about it. This is going to get out sooner or later, and I think I can manage to maintain things by controlling the group in a positive manner and keep shit from hitting the fan.
     
    Last edited: Feb 6, 2007
  13. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    Stay completely out of it... it's not your shit to deal with.
     
  14. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    The cheater's gf obviously has a "right to know" but it is completely out of line of the thread starter to say anything. it's none of his business.
     
  15. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    Obviously it depends on the situation including how well he know each of the people involved, and how important the different relationships are to the threadstarter.

    I see no reason why someone should be obliged to support or enable behaviour they disagree with in this way. The cheater has no right to secrecy.

    As I said before, it depends on exactly what is going on and why.
     
  16. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why do you think that them fooling around would rip your group of friends apart? You guys are in college, by the end you'll each have probably fucked a couple other members of the group.
     
  17. MichaelJackson

    MichaelJackson New Member

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    Just embrace for the worst and be ready to deal with the aftermath like most are saying. You are the better man for biting your tongue. kudos
     
  18. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Alright, I'll keep quiet about it.
     
  19. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    Yeah, I gotta agree with the ten other people who have said stay out of his business.

    The best thing YOU can do is to distance yourself from him, and to tell him why. Can you change rooms? That's a start. But to go behind his back and get involved is immature and dangerous - trust me.
     
  20. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    I can change my room, but he's my friend. I've known this kid since like 7th grade and we actually do really well together in our room. The only thing that bothers me about him is the fact that he cheats. His girlfriend doesn't mean that much to me, but as a person who has cheated, whose father cheated, and whose brother has cheated too, I HATE cheating. I'm just going to keep quiet about it and not do anything where I don't have full control, because I don't want to see our little group fall apart. It's bad enough that its all theatre kids (beside me), but they're dramatic to boot. Anyway, thanks for all the replies.
     
  21. The Great Deceiver

    The Great Deceiver 21st Century Schizoid Man

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    My freshman year roommate had a fiance and a kid from another woman (baby's momma), and in that year he fucked around 9 or 10 dirty ugly girls several times and got several STDs. My other roommate and I just made fun of him for fucking dirty street rats but never seriously talked with him. It wasn't our business, and what he did wasn't hurting us, so we didn't interfere.
     
  22. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Somewhere, some girl thats friends with his g/f, is thinking the same things. Monogamy is really isn't smething that happens anymore, and people should just accept it.
     
  23. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    she's possibly cheating on him and don't worry about him fooling around with the girl in your friends circle. typically everyone in a circle is going to date each other
     
  24. Kytro

    Kytro I am become death, shatterer of worlds

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    Way to completely speculate. There is no information in this thread that supports that conclusion.
     
  25. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    Even if she was cheating, its not justifiable grounds to cheat. It's justifiable grounds to end the relationship. I doubt she is. I'm staying out of it, unless it directly affects me. I discussed this situation with my friend Justin and we have decided that we're going to leave it alone unless it starts to impact the group, then we're going to try to control it and keep the group together.
     

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