SRS my parents are fucking insane

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Durka Durka, Sep 3, 2007.

  1. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i really need to move out, this shit is getting ridiculous. my dad is an alcoholic and my mother is a complete idiot and stoner. all they do, 24 hours a day, is argue with each other and drag me into their arguements. i'll go out to the kitchen to get something to drink and my dad, while arguing with my mom over something trivial like cigarettes or the tv remote, will look over to me and say 'look bill, isn't your mother a whore?' yeah, like i want to hear someone screaming at me about how my mother is a whore when i go out to get a glass of fucking iced tea. i'm at the breaking point with these assholes.
     
  2. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    oh yeah and what did this start over? my parents broke up about 18 years ago for a while, my mom was with some other guy for like a week and my dad hasn't stopped calling her a whore since. i've been listening to this arguement my entire life.
     
  3. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    Until you can move out, try to just ignore it. You should try to stay positive in your own life and don't let what your parents are doing distract you in your personal life; although it may be difficult.

    If I were in your shoes, I'd probably say something to your parents and tell them to grow the fuck up and if your father can't handle your mother being a "whore" then he should have divorced her 18 years ago. And as for your parents bringing you into their arguement, you should tell them that you don't want to hear it because it has nothing to do with you.
    any parent(s) who call their spouse a whore or any other derogatory word in front of their child is frankly a loser and really aren't thinking about their childs interest.

    If you want, try to mention some type of counseling for them if they want to work things out.
     
  4. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    all of those options have been tried and exhausted. what i really need to do is figure out a way to distance them from myself and eventually ignore them entirely. my parents are not smart people, i've explained to my dad exactly why i don't want to hear about any of that shit, why i don't want to be involved with it and i've said the same to my mom, neither of them listen and they just continue to ramble on about each other, while continuing to use me as a pawn in their arguements.

    i say it to them every day, my dad screams to me at the top of his lungs (this i also do not get, he's not angry with me but he screams this shit to me) trying to convince me of something bad about my mom, and i'm just like "ok stop, i don't want to be involved, i don't give a shit what kind of whore she is, i just came out here to get my tools/dvds/whatever" and before i can even finish talking he just interrupts me with "but, she did this or that and this and that and fucked this guy and that guy" and i'm so sick of it that i completely lose my temper and just go off on a tangent, usually something like "BUT, BUT, BUT, SHE'S NOT MY FUCKING WIFE, DON'T FUCKING TALK TO ME YOU DRUNK RETARD LOSER!" and then he wants to fight me.

    i know part of that can be solved by me controlling myself, but honestly i'm at the point where i don't think i should have to, i've been controlling my temper for years to suit these morons and i just don't feel as if i should have to put up with them anymore. i want out.
     
  5. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You already know what to do, so do it.
     
  6. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    oh wow...well since you've done all you can it seems, i can't see there being any other way of going about this :hs:

    i guess moving out is your only option. but until then, it's something you're just going to have to ignore
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    if you're under 18, you could theoretically try contacting DHS/Social Services
     
  8. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    He's over 18. So I don't see the problem unless it's that he doesn't have enough money, But fuck, if I were in that position I would do everything in my power to get away from it.
     
  9. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    yeah, it's just a money thing.

    i'm basically fishing for ways to deal with it since i can't really move out atm
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Ever been to Al-Anon? It's not AA but most Al-Anon meetings are based inside AA club houses.

    Anyways, it's specifically designed to help the loved ones of alcoholics deal with all the goofy shit that comes along with this wonderful disease. Things such as you describe. I've never been but what I gather from others is that it basically helps you keep yourself healthy regardless of what the alcoholic in your life is doing.

    Alcoholism is a family disease and rarely are others unaffected. However, I've found that most people that can benefit from Al-Anon don't want to go because "I'm not the one that's sick". They think that since the alcoholic is the one with the disease, they don't need help. If only he/she would stop drinking, then they'd be fine.

    Well the realities are that most people that live with an alcoholic are affected by his/her actions. Sometimes in very significant ways. Al-anon can help you deal with this.

    To find a meeting you can look in the phone book, under the business pages section, for Intergroup Offices and ask them. If they don't know or you don't have a local intergroup office (be sure to check larger cities that are close to you if you live in the country) then be sure to PM me.....I'll see if I can't find more info on finding a meeting.

    There is help available....hang in there man.
     
  11. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    save yourself man, move in with friends or something. Get out of there. Until your dad at least is sober, you are going to get nowhere
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do you not have a job? Shit, I barely make enough to pay rent but I still wanted to be on my own that much so I made the move.
     
  13. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    i don't have a job right now, but even when i did i wasn't making enough to pay rent and eat at the same time.

    toronto is an expensive place.

    my mom tried that al-anon shit like 10 years ago but it didn't really do anything for her, which isn't surprising.

    also just incase anyone is thinking this has anything to do with physical abuse, because of alcoholism, it's not.

    my dad is 5'7" 145lbs and drunk all the time i'm 6'0" 210lbs and sober 90% of the time and i know how to fight more than he does, this is all purely a mental stress and quality of life issue.
     
  14. Durka Durka

    Durka Durka Guest

    as soon as i get a job that pays well enough i'm definetly moving out of this shit.

    the worst part about this is that their addictions become a burden to my bank account, as soon as i ever start working it's impossible for me to save money because they INSTANTLY stop paying for anything around the house and spend all of their money on beer and weed leaving me to buy all of their fucking groceries and anything else we need around the house.

    how the hell am i supposed to save money if i'm buying food for two other people whenever i'm working? not to mention that they constantly try to get money out of me and throw tantrums and bitch non stop if i don't lend them money all the time. it's ridiculous. my mom will literally go in my room while i'm sleeping and 'ask' me if she can 'borrow' $20, while i'm not even fucking awake, then never pay me back. ugh.
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    So what are you saying....because you know one person that tried Al-anon and it didn't work, it won't work for you?? Try it before you condemn it. And I don't mean 1 meeting either.

    Shit how much about algebra do you learn from one class?? Not much.

    Oh and I wasn't suggesting you get your mom to go, I'm suggesting YOU go.
    Sometimes the wounds that cut the deepest are those that aren't caused by physical abuse.
    Dude...alcoholism is a family disease. This isn't just some theory I'm spouting off. It has been shown to affect many members of the family, even if they don't live with the alcoholic.

    But like I said in my first post....most family member won't go to Al-anon because they don't think they have any problems.....it's that fucking drunk that's the problem. HE needs AA, I don't fucking NEED Al-anon.

    Ok....but there are many people that once thought the same thing only to find peace and recovery in the rooms of Al-anon. In the end it's obviously your choice...I can't make you go but there are many that have found Al-anon the easier, softer way.
     
  16. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    don't give your parents money ever if you know they spend money on beer and weed. you are just enabling them. if they ask for food, don't buy it. if there's a way just for you to buy your own groceries without them eating it, do so. do not give your parents money. they are grown adults.
     
  17. American SuperBeast

    American SuperBeast New Member

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    My friend deals with the same thing pretty much. He just got out of the Army and theres fighting all the time, parents waste money on beer ect. and dont buy food. He ends up buying it all. What he does now is simply still lives at home but buys food for himself when he needs it. He gets nothing ahead of time because they will eat it.

    As for the lending of money. When you can, invest in a small safe and keep everything in there. That will pay off in the future. Keep valuable belongings and all money in there. Valuable belongings only because with the drugs and alcohol they probably will take stuff and sell it just to buy beer or weed. Let them live on their own but with you on the side just living in the apartment/house
     
  18. Man Bear Pig

    Man Bear Pig Banned

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    Do you have any friends or family who can help you out? If you explain the situation to someone in your family, they would probably be willing to give you a place to sleep if you take the initiative to get a job and offer to pay for things like rent and food, until you are stable enough to live with roommates or on your own.

    As far dealing with the stuff, do not engage them. Do not allow yourself to get sucked into arguments, walk away, do not respond, leave the house, do whatever it takes so you do not interact with them when they start their crazy shit. Also, it is tempting but do not get in a fight with your dad. It will cause a lot more problems, because someone will call the cops, then their is a domestic disturbance complaint, and could really screw you over in the long run:
    unless it is self defense
    a) you could be arrested/charged with an assault
    b) you could be kicked out of your house leaving you with no place to live
    c) create a permanent rift between your parent's
    d) make your life a whole lot more difficult than it already is
     
  19. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Move to a less expensive town, find roommates, find a decent job even if you spend all your money on food and rent its better than living in hell. Just tell your dad to get a divorce if he thinks your mom is a whore :dunno:
     
  20. JS1

    JS1 sup

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    Move. Quit saying "but I can't afford it". Pretend your parents don't exist and their house doesn't exist and find your own place to live.
     
  21. Saturn Sun

    Saturn Sun New Member

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    your parents will never change. they will do the same thing until they die rapped up entirely in their own life unable to see you or your accomplishments. save up move out and change your number.
     

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