SRS My parents are depressed because they don't think they did a good job raising me

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Diesel Fumes, Dec 11, 2005.

  1. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    That's the impression I get anyways and it sorta confuses me.

    This doesn't sadden me since I am too concerned with my own life to worry about another person's life, even my parents'. It confuses me for a number of reasons:

    1. The world is full of "mistakes" and not-properly cared for children that are destined to grow up in their own way without the influence of roll-model parents. I admit, parenting must be hard. You all of a sudden have this living thing to care for. No one is expected to be perfect. It's a really hard thing.

    2. They should have their own lives to worry about. It seems as though my lack of effort in life is bringing them down, when in fact, I feel as though I get quite a bit of work done in my life, despite the major bouts of depression and anxiety. When I'm not depressed or anxious, I'm always hard at work with something or learning new knowledge.

    I dont communicate with my parents well and I don't see this changing. However, I do want them to realize that my life is grand, despite what I am displaying to the world. What goes on inside my head is so much more than the emotions I express physically.

    I am moving out in two months so I feel as though this might add to their depressed feelings. I plan to move in with my grandparents who live 50hr+ from my current house. I feel it could be good there. I could see new places and meet new people, but I fear my parents will think that I am using my grandparents as father/mother-figure.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    one word 'introverted' , you seem to be self absorbed and self consumed.

    Of course this makes your parents depressed, to get insight why this is the case place yourself in your parents shoes. And then you get " My son is not talking to me =( "

    Thing is, people don't have a crystal ball they can't 'read' your mind, meaning that 'communication' is the key to get to know eachother. Your parents might be more sociable, that doesn't mean that your life is wrong but that it shows no 'bond' of love between you all, and it perfectly displays why your parents have the feeling they failed their parenting role, because ' the parents don't know their own child'. You are part to blame for that because of your state of introvertness 'however' it must be said that this isn't out of bad intentions, or bad behaviour. You simply aren't on the same frequency like your dad is. What i would do before you go is to 'comfort' your parents, have a private talk with your dad for 10 minutes, and tell him how you really appreciated things that he has done for you in his life, and that you really are proud of them on what they did and that you became exactly what you wanted to be and are perfectly happy as you are, and talk about your future plans (and stick to them).
     
  3. Diesel Fumes

    Diesel Fumes Guest

    I can't quite bring myself to tell my parents how I really feel. Know that I think about it, they must view me as some kind of puzzle. Wondering what they are trying to think of me.

    I wish I could talk to them, but wtf is my problem? How do you keep a good relationship with your parents? I just don't get it
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Give it 10 years. Lots of parents and kids don't seem to see eye to eye when the child is in their 20's. A lot changes when you hit 30.

    It's touching that you're so obsessed with your parents' supposed anguish over your success (or lack thereof).

    Your response should be the same even if they were supremely pissed off at you for not "making something of yourself". Continue to live your life as best you know how, according to your own plans.

    Not everyone defines success the same way. It is YOUR life after all. They had theirs, they made their choices. This is YOUR life, your decisions, your time at bat.

    (Obviously, this doesn't apply if your parents are disappointed in you because you're a criminal.)

    Just try to live life with integrity and honesty. As long as you have those, just follow whatever road you find most appealing and enjoy the journey.
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    As i said introverted.

    People are like radiostations, if they aren't on the same frequency then they cannot be heard properly. Same counts for the relationship that you have with your parents , you must have things 'in common' in order to communicate.

    What simular interests do you have with your dad? and simularwhise with your mom?

    A relationship is like trying to make a light, you begin with some wood(simular interests) you ask a question ( a spark) and hopefully it with lite up in fire ( a conversation) , give it a try.
     

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