SRS My name's Steve, and it would seem i have an addiction

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ubisquo, May 19, 2007.

  1. Ubisquo

    Ubisquo New Member

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    I've wondered for over a year now if i have a problem when it comes to smoking pot. It's taken me a while, but i think it's finally time to say that I do. I find the majority of my conversations revolve around pot, or at least getting high. I've spent what can only be described as a 'stupid amount' of money on pot, over summer i was spending near £100/week, and as a result i barely made a dent in my student debt, despite working every week.

    Basically, i'm not sure i like the person i am when i'm high. This is where i started to wonder about issues. I love getting high, i love being high.. but i don't like the person i become when i'm high anymore. I have these visions that, if i applied myself, i could achieve so much more. But instead i choose to sit at home and escape the ideas, rather than realise them.

    Myself, i'm not sure if this qualifies as an addiction, or even if i should be posting here, but you seemed like the sort of people to offer support. I've heard anti-drug talk from my parents for years, but right now... i feel like listening. Shit, for years i've told my parents there was no such thing as a dependence on marijuana, and that it does no harm. I've become more and more introverted, paranoid and self-loathing and i realise that, in my happiest moments, none of them involved drugs. I've had great times with drugs, times with friends that I wouldn't trade for anything.. but i'm not sure it fits with me any more, and i'm not sure i want to be a part of it any more.

    I guess i'm asking for support from anyone that's tried to quit before, and that can possibly relate to what i'm feeling right now. I've already signed to live with a smoking friend next year so there are aspects i can't escape.. but i haven't bought any in over a week, which by my standards puts my 6 days overdue.

    Please.. help. I've justified this habit for years, i don't need to hear other people's justifications.. i need to hear honest truth from those who have succeeded in quitting, and how you did. Please.
     
  2. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    my two pennies

    i gave up by moving to another country, i spose that's pretty extreme, but you could do the same if you moved to another city, just so you don't see the same people anymore, it is a wrench, but if you do see you smoking as a problem then it obviously isa problem for you, and you won't be able to quit if everyone you hang out with is getting high all the time

    was wierd for me, cos i never decided to quit, but i moved out to korea and it just isn't worth the hassle trying to score weed over here so i gave up by default, but i was away for 18 months till last year, and specially the last few months i was fantasizing about skinning up etc, but i got home and got back into getting stoned, and while it is good like making movies, video games, music etc seem like more fun, there is such a big downside with the depression and everything

    course whenever i go home i'm gonna want to get stoned with my mates, but only cos i know it's not my life. getting stoned every day is bad for you in my opinion, you come to rely on it, it should be a treat, not the norm, specially when you consider that it isn't natural anymore it's all geneticaly modified to be super strong.....
     
  3. Ubisquo

    Ubisquo New Member

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    I can't move away, my degree and my housing contracts have me tied to this area until June 08. I hear you on the 'reward' system, the problem is if i buy myself an 8th as a reward, i smoke it in a few hours, and then i just crave it as bad as i did on the first quitting day.

    I've begun rewarding myself in other ways, buying nice food i normally wouldn't (tuna steaks are my current reward) and buying DVDs from amazon. Currently my rewards for not smoking are out-costing my smoking habits, but i can live without dvds/nice food easily. I can't say the same about smoking.

    I guess what i need is someone who understands this stage, and 'gets' that perhaps for some of us this applies, and that it's not just a habit. I've spent years defending it, and i'm starting to realise that i'm not a person i can be proud of.
     
  4. kid hideous

    kid hideous New Member

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    i think it's good that you realise that it's a problem

    it's wierd with pot cos when you first get into it you find it hilarious all the lies and misconceptions from the anti drug people, but when you are doing it for years you do realise that it has a price as well,

    i spose i'm lucky cos i found an escape route (booze is my weakness and i can get that anywhere in the world...)

    you just have to want to sort it out, and if you really want to, then just think about it like 'you can't let a fucking plant get the better of you'

    another good technique is to find stuff to do when you would be getting high "i could just sit and watch a movie and get high, but i'll go to the library and read some books or whatever, then i can get high when i come back"

    you can do it :)
     
  5. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    check out an NA meeting, you arent alone. Alot of us found ourselves in the exact same spot. To be honest with you, it will not get better at first, just different. If you are like me, you have no idea what you are about to get yourself into. It is rewarding, takes time, is not easy, but it is simple.

    Dont try to do it by yourself. Well, you can try if you want too, but ive never seen it work for anybody.
     
  6. planepower2004

    planepower2004 New Member

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    Strange how just about anything taken beyond moderation becomes an addictive act. Pot, coke, booze, sex, chocolate cream pie,T.V., computer, etc. Un-winnable drug war, un-winnable tabacco war, next we will fight fat people here in the U.S. Another un-winnable addiction war. The fattening of america. If this helps; "moderation in all we do". Do you want to spend the next 30 years stoned all day, everyday? If you cant do this in moderation - you must quit.
     
  7. Grass

    Grass New Member

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    After smoking pot reguarly for awhile, I started to realize that it wasn't having the same effects on me as it used to. I just became depressed, lost confidence, lost ambition, and just focused on negative aspects of my life and the world.

    But, I kept smoking. Mostly because my friends did, every day.

    But after awhile, I decided I just couldn't do it anymore. It was like smoking poison, I just inhaled and my life immediately went to shit.

    So I stopped ... the problem is I feel like I don't really have friends anymore. My only real connection to them revolved around pot, and now thats gone. I have no reason to hang out with them, and I'm really not sure what to do :hs:
     
  8. Ubisquo

    Ubisquo New Member

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    I feel that. It's made me become really introverted and a bit of a shut-in, i've got a bunch of friends but if i've got a baggie around i won't call any of them. And if i do go out after smoking i just feel really awkward and sort of sit around in silence, wishing i was at home smoking.

    It's a bit late for me at this point in the semester, but right now i'm making my plans for next year, how i'll get more involved, get fit, and just generally sort myself out, and hopefully meet some more people. I'm going home in a few weeks so i want to go down the gym there, try and make amends to my lungs and get a better way of helping me sleep. You got anything available to you close by that could help you meet people?

    Tupac, i've done some poking and there's two 'newbie' NA meets just down the road from me. I feel really hesitant, it's hard to describe, but it's like my body's slamming on the breaks to that idea. I'm reading more about it, trying to make it seem a bit less daunting & alien. I'll try and psych myself up for it. *nod*
     
  9. Ubisquo

    Ubisquo New Member

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    I wanted to come back to this. I agree, i've had countless conversations where i defended it from the various accusations (mental disease, addictiveness, gateway drug etc). I'm still not convinced on some of the stuff that is said about it, but i'm starting to realise that just because maybe some of those claims were off (from my experiences), that doesn't make it harmless. It sounds silly, but this feels like a pretty big step, because until now i wouldn't hear a bad word against it.

    The library is a great idea, really. It's really appealing, too, rather than smoking myself stupid I could really benefit from the time. When i finish my project this week, i'm going to go down there and find an interesting looking book.
     
  10. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    check out an NA Basic Text :o

    see if it makes any sense, if it doesn't, put it back.
     
  11. Abyss

    Abyss New Member

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    Hey, I've started smoking pot for 3 years, the last year I was high at least once a day. I bought an ounce every week, and maybe sell a q-half. (then i would spend the money) I did this for 2 months straight, I also worked 10+ hour days, the last month or so, i quit selling to my friends and I slowed down to an 8th. lately, now that i've looked back i've spend $2500+ on pot this last year. I've seen what I could of saved. Now when I cash my check I always save %60+ in a locked banked account.. there goes the money I would of spent on pot. I'm left with enough money to buy food and even now I want to get high, but Ive made it so i cant buy it anymore. so now i've smoked maybe 1g this last week.. and finally quiting smoking, going to the gym.

    The main thing that got my to quit (down) pot is not hanging around my old stoner friends. I live in a small town.. everyone smoked weed, now I find it better not hanging around the friends that only want you to be around so that if you have pot they can smoke it on you. I f*cking hate that. They still phone me, I dont answer (because all he wants is to smoke weed or find it.. and because he broke into my house and i never said anything because one day im going to fuck him up so bad that i dont even want him to know who did it.. anyways. I've cut down alot, saved alot of money.

    The way I see marijuana is their is nothing wrong with it, just like anything good you can overdue it. BUT because our goverment had to make this stuff illegal, that is why marijuana is expensive and theirfor bad, (i personally think they made it illegal for that reason) smoking anything is bad for you, you could compare pot smoke to some dried up leaves, its still bad for you but their are no long term affects, I really hate smokes
    and they are legal, they are the worst thing you can do to your body. If you smoke cigs, I would say quit that first and settle down on the pot and when you do have pot only have it at night to relax
     
    Last edited: May 22, 2007
  12. Ubisquo

    Ubisquo New Member

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    One of my issues is that i'll make an agreement with myself. Like, "i'll only smoke it if it's there". But then when i smoke it i go "man, i really want to buy some" and then it's there all the time again. Maybe in a few months i'll be ready, but the number of times i've tried quitting in the past have told me that i can't stick to any deals i make with myself. Right now

    Housemate offered me a spliff on Tuesday. We've had a thing going for the last few weeks where we'll chill out and watch the newest Heroes while smoking. I reeeeeally fucking wanted to, but didn't. It made me feel pretty tense sitting there, so i'll avoid it from now on. But, i didn't smoke.

    Tomorrow is two weeks without buying, yesterday was one week without smoking. My sleeping pattern has been destroyed, i couldn't sleep until 8(am) yesterday, and haven't slept for wednesday yet. Today is my last deadline though, and I've only got one exam.. so things aren't going to be that stressful, and i don't need something to help me sleep.

    Tupac, i've checked some of the literature on the website. The "are you an addict" one had a number of parts where i could have sworn it was talking specifically about me. It's spooky, as I was trying to answer no to as many as possible, but it wasn't the case. I'll look into more, but i'm finding this 'higher power' distracting.
     

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