My mother hates my bf, but I'm in love with him.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by nikkostarr5, Jan 17, 2006.

  1. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    I am in a very difficult situation. I am 21 years old, but I still depend on my parents for my school tution and expenses. I got to a private art school that is very expensive and demanding, so I can't really support myself while going to this school.

    I have been with my current bf for 6 months, but we have been friends for 4 years. My mom knows him and has always said she liked him, until we started dating. I've never had serious boyfriends before and lately she seems to be trying to do everything in her power to make me doubt him, and myself, and ultimatly get me to break it off. She got married young, and I feel like she is afraid I'll ruin my life. The problem is he really is perfect for me and he's wonderful but no matter how I try to explain it to her that I am in no rush to get married or anything she keeps saying "I am too young to know what love is, and he is manipulating my mind"

    It's horrible and I don't know what to do, because she threatens to stop paying for my schooling and stuff, and I can't just tell her to fuck off because I do need her for that. I don't know what to do.


    CLIFFS: Mom wants me to break up with bf because she thinks men will ruin my life, but I love him and he's a good person, but I can't fight her because she pays for college, appt, etc.
     
  2. chess

    chess New Member

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    I have sort of been in this situation before...


    I must say, your parents will always be with you, you know and have to know that... You may need to explain what you have said to your mother if you have yet... I can see that because my mom thinks the same of my ex's and thats the case, she likes them and then when we started dating she says its a bad idea, and usually shes right in the end..

    Its all up to you what you want to do.. just do it with confidence !!
     
  3. Bush77

    Bush77 New Member

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    why does she hate him?
     
  4. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    All good Christian conservative mothers of girls hate their daughters' boyfriends. "He'll corrupt her to a life of heinous wanton sex and alcoholism, I just know it!!"

    Seriously though -- If she knew him and said she liked him AS YOUR FRIEND, maybe she only liked him BECAUSE she thought y'all would never do anything together beyond platonic friendship. Now that there's another side of him showing, she doesn't like it so much.

    Despite what most think, "Mother knows best." More often than not, she probably has a good read on the guy and can forsee flaws and potential disasters waiting to happen. This is because she isn't as enamored by a relationship as you are; and your vision may be clouded.

    :dunno: I guess you should talk to her and find out what the story really is.
     
  5. nikkostarr5

    nikkostarr5 New Member

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    well thats the thing, she really has no reason to. I'll admit I have dated a few assholes, but in all honesty this guy has never wronged me or hurt me or tried to manipulate me. Tonight she started a fight because, my bf told me he couldnt drive up to stay at my new appartment with me because he is broke. I live in San Francisco and parking is really rare and expensive, for one, and food is really expensive, plus he'd have to buy gas for the drive. He always pays for me, even though I protest, and he doesn't like not having the means to do so.

    So I decided I was gonna drive down to his place instead, because I want to see him before the semester starts. I wanted to save him the money and worry of coming to my place, but my mom thinks I have been manipulated into doing what he wants and she says "If he really wanted to see you, he'd find a way to do it, I think money is just an excuse for something else.

    I really think she is wrong, so we argued about it. I really don't think he's lied to me. I am I just being foolish?
     
  6. Ramon

    Ramon Guest

    Maybe mother knows best and has that motherly instinct..
     
  7. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    it's not neccesarily the right thing to do but maybe lie to her & tell her you guys broke up :dunno:
     
  8. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    yes, you've demonstrated you know how it works :rofl:


    your mum sounds like she's off her rocker. She's certainly coming up with some bona fide horse crap if your b/f normally pays for you. I'd take his word for it that he can't afford the trip + parking + paying for you....

    also, lying is not the way. saying you broke up when you didn't is going to create massive issues when she finds out you're still dating him.

    tell her you're 21, you're going in with your eyes open and he's a great guy. even if it all turns to shit, you'll learn from your mistakes. there's no other way to succeed in life, if you never try you never fail, but you certainly never succeed either.
     
  9. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    i highly doubt he's lying to you at all, trust me. us guys do run out of money fast esp with a g/f.
     
  10. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    That's a tricky situation, normally I'd try to reason with them, and if they still didn't change their view and had no proper reasoning why, then I'd just tell them I'm doing what I want.

    However, if that is likely to cause them to stop paying for your school which really could end up ruining your life, you may want to consider taking a break until you no longer rely on their money?
     
  11. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    dont offer up info, dont really talk about him in her presence. was there any reason to tell her he couldnt afford to see you? you can save a lot of problems by just not bringing the subject up.

    granted, if your mom was mature, shed ride it out graciously. but, since that isnt the case, i suggest you keep as much stuff private. dont lie, or deiceive, just dont offer up information. if she asks how he is, just say hes fine, not 'hes fine, ill see him next week'
     

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