SRS My mom passed away...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by AtoorayasGrl, Sep 2, 2007.

  1. AtoorayasGrl

    AtoorayasGrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago,IL and Tempe, Az (school)
    I'm still in shock I guess. I was a wreck when I found out yesterday night, but now I'm kind of calm almost anticipating for the reality to kick in and I'm afraid once that happens that my life will spiral down. I've been surrounded by my family and friends, but I know that I will have to be alone at times which scares me. :wtc:

    My mom was very sick...as some of you might have known from the past threads I made in here. I guess the reason of this post is to say that life is too short to worry about things. People worry too much about money, relationships, work, etc. I know I've stressed over all these things, but now I realize that life comes at you too fast. :hs:
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    :hug:

    My deepest condolences on your loss. The loss of a loved one like a parent can be very difficult and confusing. Try to be good to yourself through during your grief and be sure to keep posting if you need to share.
     
  3. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2005
    Messages:
    13,722
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    at your mom's house. be back later.
    :hug: I'm so so sorry for your loss. We're here for you if you need us. Take care of yourself. :hug:
     
  4. MR. Marti

    MR. Marti New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 19, 2004
    Messages:
    14,193
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Central Florida
    damn bro, i am sorry to hear it. How old was she? Do you mind telling us what she had?

    My condolences to you and your whole family man. Stay strong.

    God Bless.:hug:
     
  5. AtoorayasGrl

    AtoorayasGrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago,IL and Tempe, Az (school)


    My mom was only 60 and was diagnosed with scleroderma last year. It's a rare disease with no cure. Basically the disease destroyed her internal organs causing everything to shut down. I don't want to get into it, but she's been through a lot this past year. The doctors were amazed as to how long she stayed alive for. She's a fighter. :hs:


    Thank you all for your response.
     
  6. putty

    putty New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 25, 2007
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    My condolences. I know how you feel, my Dad passed away this past April from colon cancer. It was diagnosed 3 years ago but after surgery and chemo he was great for 3 years, then it came back and took him within 4 months. It felt really fast. He was 72 but the youngest 72 year old you'd ever meet. Never took a pill in his life.

    I feel for you, it gets better. Just focus on the good times instead of the last year with your mother. Best of luck.
     
  7. sixten

    sixten New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 20, 2006
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    So sorry to hear, AtoorayasGrl. It sounds like you got a heck of a great attitude, though. Keep your head up and take care of yourself.
     
  8. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

  9. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    :hug:

    My sincere condoleances for the loss of your mother.

    I always say , imagine if you died instead of your mom. Would you love to see your loved ones to be in tears and sadness, feeling miserable over your death for many years to come? Of course not , you would want them to be happy and make the most of their lives. So instead of letting your life spiral down and dying over her death, start living for her instead. Hold her close into your heart, love her. And let all the tears out in order to process the loss and bereavement in your heart.
     
  10. oscarkat

    oscarkat Happiness is a long hard road. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2006
    Messages:
    1,452
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
  11. AtoorayasGrl

    AtoorayasGrl New Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2004
    Messages:
    312
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chicago,IL and Tempe, Az (school)
    So it looks like reality is starting to slowly sink in. I feel guilty for not being there by her side when she died. She died alone, with no one by her side to hold her hand or anything. I know that she wouldn't want me to see her go like that, but I can't help feeling guilty. I didn't want to go to the hospital that day because my dad wasn't going to go and I didn't want to go by myself. I could've taken a friend or someone, but I just wanted to take a break. I kind of had this weird feeling- alomst like a sixth sense that something was going to happen and well it did. I went with my dad and brother later on to the hospital after we found out the news and said my last goodbyes. It was the hardest thing I've done in my whole entire life. I'm only 25 years old and to loose my mom now is something I never thought would happen. I didn't take her for granted. It just kills me inside because she had so much more to live for. She's not going to see me get engaged or be at my wedding or meet my children. I was always a mommy's girl and even though we may not have had the best of times, I still loved her with all my heart and would die for her. Now she's not here. I believe that she is watching me from above, but it's too hard to believe that I will not be able to hold a conversation with her ever again.
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    :hug:

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can really relate to your feelings because the night before my dad died, we had an argument....well more like I yelled at him for all kinds of shit I had been stuffing for almost 2 years. I went out on a date that night and he was asleep when I got home....when I woke up the next morning he was dead.

    It was awful. I never got to say I'm sorry face to face and I had unbelievable, irreconcilable guilt for this. I literally felt like my yelling had killed my dad and it fucked me up for years. I've spent many years working through all that shit and I've learned a lot about myself from it.

    I can understand your guilt but your mom didn't die alone....she had your love in her heart and the love of your family as well. She had many happy memories from her life and I'm sure, many painful ones as well. She may not have wanted you to be there when she died because she may have wanted you to remember her the way she was.

    I'm a strong believer that the energy that made our loved ones ours lives on after they die. We can connect with that energy but it's never the same as being face to face but I don't think our loved ones want us to feel guilt and/or shame about the events surrounding their life or death. Life isn't perfect and we all make mistakes....your mom made them as well.

    Try to be kind to yourself during this really trying time. You took a break and perhaps you needed that so that you would get some rest before the coming storm after she passed. You're grieving the loss of someone really close to you and it hurts, I know....but hang in there. The pain will ease and life will go on.

    I would encourage you to seek out a grief support group. Grief is a really strange thing and you may find a lot of comfort/help in dealing with all the twists and turns of grief. Many churches have them and I think there are also some non-religious ones (try calling a psychologist and see if they know of a non-religious one)...that is, if you want a non-religious one.

    Hang in there....this too shall pass. :hug:
     

Share This Page