SRS my mind is clouded

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by missXcurious, Aug 12, 2005.

  1. missXcurious

    missXcurious New Member

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    the love of my life tells me that he wants to sleep with alotta women before he turns 25. he says he need "change" and "variety" what the hell?! am i not enough for him or something? we broke up a couple months ago but we are still living together (dont ask) he told me if i never gotten so fat that he would still be with me. i told him he should loved me for who i am inside not outside. he says he does love me for who i am but i dont look like who i was before when i was skinny and pretty when we 1st met. why should my appearance matter now? im still the same person inside. i used weigh about 115 and i gained about 30-35 pounds throughout the 3 years we were together. ive lost some weight cause ive been so depressed. i dont know what he wants. he tells me he still wants to be with me but hes not sure. im tired of being some damn yo-yo. i wish i can be strong and just walk out that door and never look back. my heart just feels so crushed.
     
  2. Finch

    Finch OT Supporter

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    That sounds like a rough situation. I hate to say it, but I would be in the same boat with him...perhaps it's being shallow, but how attracted I am to a woman always takes into consideration looks, and I can't choose to whom I am attracted. I don't think he's going about this in the best way, but it might be beneficial for you to get back into shape for you first and foremost. You'll feel better about yourself, and his attraction returning would just be an added benefit.
     
  3. rookie

    rookie New Member

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    Be strong.

    As soon as you leave, you'll have your dignity back. It might be painful for a while but hey, life isn't easy. You deserve someone who will appreciate you as much as you appreciate them.
     
  4. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    Living with him is never going to make you feel any better.
    Honestly,there are very few things (if any!) that you can change about a man. If this is a 'goal' in his life, how do you see yourself possibly fitting in here?
    Don't you deserve a lot better than that?
     
  5. Spirito

    Spirito New Member

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    well said , and try to get OUT as soon as possible , you can't forget him when you are living with him in under the same roof !
    Good Luck !
     
  6. missXcurious

    missXcurious New Member

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    i am trying to get in shape for the past month, ive went on a diet and lost 14 pounds.
     
  7. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest

    but are you doing that for yourself or because you think it will get him back?
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    It's natural for him to want to see other people, especially if you started the relationship in your teens. However, telling you that you're too fat to date is bullshit. If you're in a friends-with-benefits state, you're being used, plain and simple. Move out (or kick him out) and get on with your life. Don't change for him. Change for you.
     
  9. missXcurious

    missXcurious New Member

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    im doin it for myself, he made my self esteem go down...i mean really down. he told me i need bigger breasts! im not flat or anything. i do have an average size breast but i guess he wants more.
     
  10. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

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    if he wants to sleep with 'alotta women before he turns 25' then kick his ass out to the curb and if he goes crying back, kick him down the stairs and tell him it's his loss.

    you deserve better. let him do his thing, he doesn't need to be a part of your life if he makes you feel this way.
     
  11. Cerridwen

    Cerridwen Guest


    Ahhhhh, I remember talking to you in your other thread about breast sizes.
    You definetly deserve better than this guy!

    I'm glad you are doing it for yourself though! :)
     
  12. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    You deserve better, he sounds like an arse.

    At the same time, get in better shape for YOURSELF. His cruelty might be the wakeup call to work hard and make yourself feel good. Imagine the day you'll stand in front of him looking all in shape and HOT....he'll come begging and then "UH UH". Let him talk to the hand.

    Weight is something we need to all take seriously. The recommendation to find someone that accepts you for who you are is more harmful then helpful. If someone accepts you for being 500lbs, that would be great...you'd be in love, but dead in 5 years. :noes:
     
  13. Finch

    Finch OT Supporter

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    that's taking it a bit far on his part I think.
     
  14. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    No doubt. If you truly cared for someone...you'd never be so cruel to her to give her a complex like that.

    Dump em.
     
  15. scifimom

    scifimom Fear is the mind killer. I will face my fear and l

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    Dump him. You deserve better. He's not good enough for you. He will never be happy and you will never be happy with him. He does not love you, he loves dragging you down.You serve some purpose for him, but it's not love. Good luck:hug:
     
  16. sadangryboi

    sadangryboi New Member

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    You can't expect someone to be with you if you let yourself go as your post seems.

    Sounds like he did love you but you seemingly let yourself go and he started loosing interest.

    It's like he asks you to marry him and then u gain 50 pounds because you are now engaged and think you have no more worries. How would he feel? The person he asked to marry was in shape, looking good, had responsibilities and now is a slacker in general now?

    I wouldn't blame him for loosing interest.
     
  17. assclown

    assclown Active Member

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    It honestly sounds like he just isn't physically/sexually attracted to you anymore but loves you as a person.That's just my perspective though.
     
  18. Mars Princess

    Mars Princess They hatin'

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    It sounds like he is trying to mold you into his perfect china doll he had when you first got together and mold you in general. What does he have to OFFER you after all this time? He's living with you and you guys are not together AND he is making demands? THis guy may very well be trying to tell you in a not so nice way that he is not physically attracted and cannot continue a relationship where he losese physical interest and a desire to be intimate with you, which is important in a relationship but not OVERWHELMINGLY so. IF he doesn't like you when you get fat, what's going to happen when youage? When your skin becomes dry? When you get a mole or your skin sags a little? He'll probably go and look for someone that fits what he USED to have, but people change. Even attractive, fit people age and do not look as they once did. If someone can not stay and ENCOURAGE you to change while they ALSO change to make the relationship better, you don't need them

    IT may be hard but give him something to think about and ask him to pay some rent and mind his own business about his body :p 130 to 140 isnt horrible. it's meaty but you aren't at any risk to where you need a crane or anything. oh and congrats on the weight loss you have acheived. keep at it. You can do a lot better for yourself than this guy, who sounds like he wants to control you
     
  19. sadangryboi

    sadangryboi New Member

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    From her posts it says she went from 115 and added 30-35 pounds not 10. And it says she lives with him not theother way around.
     
  20. missXcurious

    missXcurious New Member

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    blah....doesnt matter anymore i guess im finally moving on...
     
  21. mofo

    mofo New Member

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    If you really care about him, then you would make an effort to look better for him because that's probably what he wants. If that's not the case, then you're going to have to flip the page and end this chapter of your life. Emotions cannot be controlled so there is nothing to blame. Perhaps it's just not meant to be but something better in store for you in the future.
     

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