SRS My math tutor came onto me...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by chicken leg, May 25, 2007.

  1. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    help needed, i'm really freaked out.

    I'm in a new school, in a new country, been here for about a year now, but the math level is really high in comparision to my old school so I go to a private math tutor that tutors me 3 times a week in two hour sessions, sometimes there will be others in our class but usually its just me and him.

    he sms's me a lot usually concerning math and he's a really good tutor but sometimes a bit improfessional like we'd go get a drink afterwards in a group of of two or three pupils and him. at 4 am this morning he calls me and tells me his lonely and wants to chat, I chat for a bit since i couldn't sleep anyway, but he starts asking a lot of leading questions "do i like older guys" "am i a virgin, how far have i gone, do i think he's hot?" and other such inapropriate shit.suddenly he tells me he likes me and how he's dreamed about me before and how we kissed in the dream and he asks me out, and also asks if i wanna hear about his fantasies.
    I told him that he's drunk and that he should go to bed, but he tells me he knows what he's doing and he'll remember it in the morning....

    He's 32 i'm 16 that's twice my age, and yes he is actually good looking and at four in the morning i wasn't as firm with my no's as i should have been, but i've always had difficulty saying no to guys.

    I'm kinda freaked now, I need these lessons but I'm not sure i want to be left alone with him...:eek4:
     
  2. euro_R

    euro_R OT Supporter

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    tell your parents..NOW
     
  3. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    If i tell my parents i could put this guy out of a job. I haven't seen him again yet but i want to make sure that its going to be an issue before I go to my rents. I was just wondering if anyone else has been in this kinda situation and if they can tell me how I can adress the situation with as little fuss as possible. There aren't other tutors and I NEED this tutor it's the only thing that keeps from failing, even now i'm just just passing math.
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You may not know this, being from SA and all, but what he did might actually be a crime. Different states have different laws and simply coming onto a person under the age of 18 may actually be a crime. Pedophiles that prey on underage kids are considered bad people in American...and hopefully the rest of the world. Although I know people that got married at 16, most states say that 18 is the "age of consent" which means that person is now an adult.

    In my state, it's 18 and if a person over 18 has sex with someone under 18, then it's called statutory rape and they can go to prison for it.

    Now it may not be that way in your country but that's the way it works here in the US.

    There's really no way to address this issue by yourself, IMO you really should tell your parents.
     
  5. The Saggin' Nutz

    The Saggin' Nutz New Member

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    only a pathetic loser in his 30's would hit on a 16 year old girl
     
  6. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    well.... He does still live with his parents hahaha so yea pretty pathetic

    But dude it pissed me off that he had to chose to wake me up the night of a big bio exam. :mad: :bash:

    Fine, I'll go to my rents about this.... so no giving him the benifit of the doubt that he skrewed up but he wont try anything again... this is awkward
     
  7. ShadowJet

    ShadowJet New Member

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    Look, this is why they call this kind of person a PREDATOR. I am not in love with that word, because it abused too often, but this is most definitely a case for it. He is taking advantage of his position in order to get sex from you, and he isn't even being coy about it.

    If he loses his job, it's his own fault for being so disgusting and unprofessional. This is 100% serious. This guy isn't just some guy taking an interest, this is the kind of talk of a genuine sicko. Even if he were your age, this kind of "OMG you are in my fantasies want to hear about it" crap would be completely creepy. This guy is one sick puppy.
     
  8. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    ok, when you put it like that i realize I'm being an idiot trying to defend him. I'll tell my rents and see wat happens... tis going to be an awkward convo...
     
  9. awdboost

    awdboost New Member

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    When first reading your post I was thinking you both were like 19 or 20 yrs old in college but then when you say he's in his thirties and you're 16 that's just wrong and creepy.

    I'm glad you have stepped up, and reporting what's he doing. Imagine how many other girls went on without saying anything. Had another one had said something this wouldn't have happened to you. You doing a smart thing reporting it, and helping future students who would have been tutored by him.
     
  10. BlaXicaN

    BlaXicaN OT Supporter

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    where do you live right now?
     
  11. Bounty15

    Bounty15 OT Supporter

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    Good for you Chicken Leg, you're doing the right thing by going to the parents on this. He deserves to lose that job if that is how he is treating his pupils.
     
  12. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    I live in Tanzania in africa, please do not confuse it with Tasmania as lots of people often do. It's a country right on the equator next to kenya and mozambique. My dad works here as an expact
     
  13. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    WTF? This guy NEEDS to be put out of a job! Who else is he doing this to?
     
  14. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    no one, I'm his only female student at the moment....
     
  15. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Keep in mind...you did nothing wrong. There's is no reason this should be awkward.
     
  16. chicken leg

    chicken leg New Member

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    ok i know this sounds rediculous but my name's chicken leg for a reason. I'm too afraid to go to my rents, i know i did nothing wrong i just dont want to be responsible for something that might not have been neccassary... i mean, what if he was just totally drunk and not thinking?
     
  17. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Wrong. His actions and only his actions will put him out of a job.
     
  18. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It's still crossing the line between a professional and a personal relationship. It's inappropriate.

    And come on, even if he was drunk, he still kind of knew what he was doing...so what if he was lonely? He had no one else to call but one of his 16 year old students?

    Doesn't that seem like a HUGE warning sign?

    Get a new tutor.

    Edit:

    This also needs to be said. You are slightly in the wrong too. If you didn't want the relationship to cross the professional line, you shouldn't have gone out with him to get a drink.
     
  19. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    :wtf:

    There is only one time when it is acceptable to drink with your teachers, and that is when all of the following criteria are met:

    1. You are in college
    2. There are a LOT of other students there
    3. It is a school-sponsored "meet the _______ students" event (like where all the CompSci studnets go out to a bar and drink/play pool/bowl and there are teachers there with you). We used to have these for my Information Systems major once or twice a year. They were cool, and fun, and not creepy. It's a way to meet everyone and schmooze it up with the faculty.

    That's it.

    Otherwise it's fucking creepy and weird, especially if you're 16.

    :wtf: :wtf: :wtf:

    Holy shit. Get this guy fired.

    btw, you're 16 and he's 32, sick, and he probably has pedophile tendencies.
     
  20. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I was just going to say this too. The only, ONLY time you go have a drink with a tutor or any teacher for that matter is if they're more students with.

    Also, this guy is a freak and something needs to be done beofre he goes to the next level with you or the next girl he has to tutor. You never know what he has done in the past and something needs to be done about this problem.
     
  21. glass

    glass New Member

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    i'm not sure if i'd tell my parents, but i'd fire him, look for a new tutor and tell him that if he contacts you again you're going to the police. if he does contact you again (before you turn 18), escalate to telling the parents and THEN bring in the cops.

    i don't like sex offenders but the label seems a huge thing to carry around for a lifetime.. esp for a momentary lapse in judgement.
     
  22. bowrofl

    bowrofl New Member

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    i'd get him fired so he doesn't have the chance to do it to someone else
     
  23. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Any updates on this?
     
  24. Ricky

    Ricky █▄ █▄█ █▄ ▀█▄

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    Tell your parents.
     
  25. SQLee

    SQLee The OTer That Cares™

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    I'm going to go against the grain here and say to just ask for a different tutor. While I think this guy is creepy, you said yourself you weren't "as firm with your no's" as you should have been, and that you're attracted to him. To me, that says he believes you were interested. And while it's still inappropriate for a 32-year-old to hit on a 16-year-old, especially when he's your tutor, I think that the situation is a bit touchy. If you weren't hanging out outside of tutoring, etc., then it'd be an easy solution--tell your parents. But I think you should just get a different tutor. For all you know, this guy might just be socially inept and misread some signals--regardless of how inappropriate it was.
     

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