SRS My little brother is an underachieving pothead, I have some questions...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Yardsale, Sep 19, 2008.

  1. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    does this describe you? If so, how do your family members treat you? Contempt?

    In marijuana's defense, he was lazy and underachieving before he started smoking. I'm just trying to find out if anyone has been cut off from family for being degenerate and such and have there been any reconciliations or middle ground since?
     
  2. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    Cutting a family member off for any sort of substance abuse is foolish
     
  3. adelacruz

    adelacruz New Member

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    id agree only for marijuana, other drugs can cause their personality to change to the point where they constantly loot your house and threaten physical harm.
     
  4. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    For marijuana? I'm in NA and I can't think of anyone I know who was cut off from their family just for weed. Usually people whose families cut them off are doing something life threatening or where the negative consequences of their actions have an impact on the relatives.

    And in your brother's defense if he was not motivated before he started smoking weed, he was probably depressed.
     
  5. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    this might very well be true. hrm. any thoughts on how to guide him into something more productive with his life?
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    The best advice I can give someone who thinks their relative might have a drug problem is to go to an Al-Anon or a Nar-Anon meeting. That is the best resource for family and friends of addicts.
     
  7. Chemo

    Chemo New Member

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    try going to your family dr and discuss what can be done to help decipher his depression,if thats even a problem. talking with a professional can help for starters,then maybe the AA or whatever other drug/alcohol programs are out there can also be an aid
     
  8. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    he's 18.....

    he just hangs around the wrong crowds. he got all F's in his first year of college and now goes to community college.
     
  9. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    you would agree only for marijuana? I've seen some people severely fuck up their lives and because all they did was get stoned all the time...you can't really pick and choose substances here, either you are responsible and moderate your usage of drugs/alcohol or you don't, the substance itself is really unimportant
     
  10. Daveee

    Daveee New Member

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    On the contrary, I would be very careful telling someone to go to an Al-Anon or AA/other 12 step meeting, as a lot of what they're going to find there is going to be mental masturbation about why this "disease" is not their loved ones' fault and only a spiritual fix can remedy "the malady of the drink" :coolugh:
     
  11. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    problem with weed is sometimes it doesn't get bad enough to force change for a very, very long time.
     
  12. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Actually that isn't at all what Al-Anon is like. At Al-Anon what they'll learn how to do is focus on themselves and not be co-dependent.
     
  13. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    It's more a crutch than any sort of dependency. the core problem is something much bigger, esteem issues I think.
     
  14. MyLittleAirport

    MyLittleAirport OT Supporter

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    I know this may sound like a typical answer but maybe introduce him to a sport or martial art? It made my life go in a 180 and I probably would've gone down the same road as your brother right now if it weren't for sports/martial arts. But getting him actually motivated and going would be the hard part :sad2:
     
  15. Yardsale

    Yardsale OT Supporter

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    yeah nothing really inspires or motivates him. besides video games :ugh:

    not like he's ambitious enough to go through a program designing them, etc. :(
     
  16. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    You know, most "addicts" need to given a boot in the ass to get back on their feet. Actually, if he doesn't want it, then there is nothing you can do for him - wait till he wants help and then ask us what to do.
     
  17. thunderbird

    thunderbird New Member

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    agreed, very serious
     
  18. Das-Helmut

    Das-Helmut OT Supporter

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    I'm in the same situation. My older brother is depressed all the time, as he is our 'friends' supplier for weed around here. People shit on him all the time, and he can't rationalize why. Between that and the lack of a well paying job or career, he has no desire to do anything except play COD or Forza.

    It kills me that he depends on everyone else to clean up his messes, and he is totally apathetic to any input on how he can change his life. And I don't want to cut him off, but things are expected and not reciprocated. i.e. birthday and christmas presents, favors, etc. He expects them, but never will help you out if you need it. And when you decide you've had enough, he goes ballistic and turns into mr furious.
     
  19. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

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    I consider myself an overachiever pothead, but I'm sure most will say those don't exist... Everyone in my family is relatively open about their pot smoking. Smoking pot doesn't make you lazy- being lazy makes you lazy.
     
  20. ZSPTurbo

    ZSPTurbo New Member

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    Don't try too hard to change him, you might polarize him into staying that way. Try to help him find something in life that he is either good at, or enjoys doing, and then find a way for him to make a living at it. The world needs ditch diggers too.

    One of my cousins has a severe learning disability and probably has an IQ of about 85. But he's played basketball since he was a little kid and just sees things on the court. So now he's in a small college working on his "sports management" degree, and he's the film editor and assistant coach for the basketball team - and thats what he wants to do, be a film editor for a major college or NBA team. Sure he can't do trigonometry and Harry Potter is the most challenging thing he can really read, but he's found a niche.

    Your brother needs to do the same thing - find what he's good at, and do it. If he doesnt WANT to excel, don't try to force it on him.
     

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