I guess I'll start from the beginning When I was 16 I feel in love with the first girl I had sex with (go figure). At the age of 18 we had a son. Eventually we got a place of our own and things were ok for awhile. At 19 we decided it was best to get married. Things slowly started to dissolve and we were fighting allot. We didn't do anything together, never went out, never even sat on the couch and watched a movie at night together. She worked first shift, I worked 2nd. Then came the lying. She eventually lost her job but never told anyone. She'd wake up in the morning and pretend to go to work. All the while lying to me why the paychecks were smaller and smaller. Eventually I was paying for everything on my own and it was getting very hard. She started steeling checks out of the back of the checkbook and bouncing them. She even went as far as to impersonate me on forms to get cash advance loans. Needless to say, eventually it became too much and we had to move in with her grandmother and file bankruptcy. Things dissolved even more from there and I started going out allot because I just couldn’t stay at someone else’s house living like that. Then... she ends up Prego again. While she was Prego I my own apartment and started living on my own. She moved in with another grandmother who had just gotten and new house and had room for her. I was there for the pregnancy though and birth and loved my kids to death, I just couldn’t be with there mother. I tried for awhile slowly doing things together but I was very uncomfortable around here. So during this time I met another woman and I couldn’t believe what I was feeling... I thought I had been in love before but wow... this was so different! I and my wife kept tossing around the idea of divorce but it always just lingered in the background while we led our separate lives. We fell into a groove where I had the kids certain days, she had the kids certain days... there has never been any court involvement. Eventually I and the other woman had a child; she turned 2 back in July. I hate to even say it but me and this little girl are the closest thing in the world. Mostly because I have her everyday and the other 2 I do not. I love this woman to death and she has stuck by my side and helped me in every way possible in hopes I would get the divorce soon so we could be a family. What always made me procrastinate the divorce were 3 things. 1.) Being paycheck to paycheck and child support just killing me 2.) Having the courts only give me my kids on weekends or something 3.) My son who has had both parents before knowing its official he won’t again. It’s been 4 years since I moved out on my own and I’ve been battling with those things ever since. Now... let’s make this even worst k? Everyone sitting down? Back in June July I had a STUPID encounter with my wife, we ended up having sex. I just find out yesterday she’s pregnant. Now she’s swears she hasn’t been with anyone and yes I did make her take a test with me present. Now I'm not a bad guy, I rushed to add her to my insurance so she and the baby would be taken care of. I then told the woman I'm with, and while yes it was very hard, eventually she accepted and moved on to doing what she always does which is focusing on trying to make ME of all people, feel better. So now my dilemma. Is it wrong for me to stay with the woman I've been seeing so our daughter has both loving parents? Is it *more* right to go back to my wife so that 3 kids aren’t left without having both parents? Is there and right and wrong way to go here? I sit at tell myself you should stay with the woman you love so the kids all see your happy and then just focus on making things good for all of them. But then I sit and also think I should suck it up and be unhappy with my wife so the bulk of the kids grow up with both parents. Its time to quit this charade and settle down and now I need to grow up and make a choice and give these kids something more. But I can't get over what I'm supposed to do now... I can't figure out what is the right or wrong path? Is there a right one? Is there a more acceptable one? I just really wanted to get this off my chest and talk to people about this because I feel like I'm in a nightmare I can't wake up from right now.