SRS My life is crumbling...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Ix dOc xI, Jan 5, 2007.

  1. Ix dOc xI

    Ix dOc xI New Member

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    Or so it seems.

    I dont really know where to start, theres so much thats been bothering me. Im a long time OT lurker and im usually on here to look for advice, but I rarely post, sometimes worrying someone I know might be on here and read it. But Ive gotten to the point where I dont really know where to turn to anymore. And so I turn to you OT.

    I guess ill start off with my current problem. Im 18 years old and my parents treat me like a fucking baby. Ive done nothing but work hard and in my opinion I deserve alot more freedom than what they give me. Ive been working since I was 13, opening up and closing shop. I basically ran that place, and I still do. I worked there all through highschool, which I now look back and regret thinking I missed out on a lot of things in highschool (clubs, sports, girls, parties). But I cant say I regret it completely, Ive learned alot from working there and me and my boss are very close, hes almost like a second father to me. The main reason I started working there was to save up money to buy a car as soon as I got my license. Needless to say, I got my license, and I had the money...but my parents wouldnt let me buy a car. I thought things would be different senior year and i'd have a car and drive to school, i'd have a car to work on, and money to dump into it. (Im a big car nut). But that all never happened, I was stuck driving my moms car to school every once in a while. When I got my permit, my parents started letting me out at night with some of my friends with their car, but I had to be home by 11. I made damn sure I was home every night before the clock struck 11pm. Ive never done any type of drug in my life, I guess you can say I was more scared of what would happen if my parents found out than anything, and thats really why. I respect my parents, or did at least, and thought that they would understand my maturity and that I understand responsibily. Fast foward to the end of the year...I didnt graduate with honors, but I did receive a $1200 scholarship award. I fucked up and didnt apply to any colleges in time, so I propsed the idea to my parents of having me move to europe to live with my family for a few months to see how life is like over there. Of course they thought this idea was crazy so I applied to a community college where I am currently attending. Im waiting to recieve my grades from my first semester, which I feel I did pretty bad in and that has me a bit worried.

    So before I started school my parents bought me a brand new car, which I am extremely thankful for. But at the same time it upsets me because everytime we get into arguements, they always throw the fact that I got a brand new car in my face. Even though I was more than willing to purchase a used car and pay for it myself.

    A a month later me and my friend are talking again (the one I turned down a bunch of times) and we end up going out. Were currently dating and although I havent told anybody in my house, my older sister knows. I dont really know how to tell my parents, or rather I dont really see the reason to even bother telling them. Recently I went out the other night with her and my friend to a local car meet, and ended up going to her house afterwards for a while. My cell phone has no service in her house and it was late so my parents tried calling me, but my phone didnt ring because I had no service. So then my fucking sister starts calling up every friend of mine that she knows asking if they know where I am, one of them being my girlfriend. I was with her so I told her not to answer the phone, but my friend called her afterwards and said that my sister called him looking for me. So I hop in my car and go home and low and behold my mom is at the window waiting for me. I walk in and go to my computer, she comes over and starts bitching at me asking where I was, even though I told her where I was going. The next day I get yelled at by both my mother and father, about what I was doing out that late and so on. Then my mom blurts out, "I know where you were, and it wasnt too far from here either"..which immediately tells me she knows I have a girlfriend and was at her house (she lives close by). So now im thinking she drove by her house or something and saw my car outside, OR my sister ratted me out.

    Now that was the second time the comming home late/not answering the phone incident happened, the first time it happened I got home more or less around the same time, only to find my mother AND my sister waiting for me. I walk over and go to my computer but my mother gets in my way and starts shoving me asking where the fuck ive been. I see that theres no way this situation could get any better and decide to walk away from it and go to bed, thats when my sister blurts out 'what kind of respect is that, walking away from your own mother'...even though she was shoving me.

    Me and my sister dont always get along, and she is very secretive about her relationships with guys. Where as I dont care if she knows or not. But I do know about her ways, how she goes out and parks her car somewhere and hops in some guys car. She doesnt know I know these things, and my parents arnt aware of it either. And quite frankly, I dont give a shit what she does. I just dont understand why the fuck my parents give me such a hard time about the stupidest fucking things. My sister goes out to clubs, drinks, drives home drunk and my parents dont say shit to her. Not too long ago my sister cracked the LCD screen on our new digital camera cause her drunk ass fell down the stairs walking in, but nobody yells at her for anything.

    If I go out at any given time, my mother will call me at least twice. If I go out at night, once midnight rolls around all I get is phonecalls to come home, asking where I am, who im with, etc. Where as my sister goes out and my mother just goes to sleep and doesnt care. Everytime I bring up this arguement with them they claim that its because shes 22, and that when she was my age she would never go out. Thats when I tell them that when she was my age, she didnt have a steady job for 5 years with money in the bank. My sister used to work odd jobs but would blow the money she earned. She has little to none in her savings except whatever shes been earning recently (she just got a decent job). But my parents dont seem to care to listen to my arguement. They just give me answers like "no" and "because i said so" or "when i was your age..."

    It upsets me because I feel like I have nothing to live for, my mom was just bitching at me because I wanted to go out with some friends. My sister went out last night and got home at 130 so I tell her this, and shes like yeah but your sister doesnt go out every night! My mother thinks because I go to car meets on mondays/thursdays and then out on the weekends that its too much or some bullshit. I think its fucking rediculous. When I do go out, I still make it to work on time and I still get things done, I dont do drugs like I mentioned before and I like to consider myself to be a good kid. I dont see where the problem is. Only thing is ever since those two nights where I didnt answer my phone, she completley lost trust in me. And its upsetting because its not my fault, had the phone rang I would have answered it. Ive recently offered to buy a new phone and switch service providers since ive been having alot of problems with service, but she never wants to come with me (the account is in her name) so im always stuck in the same run around. I wish I could just move out, but I cant afford to financially.

    Im sure Ive repeated myself alot. Or things are out of order or mixmatched. But I just needed to let all this shit out. I mean, I scroll up and read what ive written and think its stupid, and maybe im just being a big fucking baby. But then the next day it all happens again and I feel like shit, I feel like im lost and helpless with no one to turn to. I tell my girlfriend small things, but I have a really hard time opening up to people. I dont really trust anybody. Again im sorry for the long post, and im sure most of it is rambling or babble, but if anybody has any advice it would be greatly appreciated. :hsugh:
     
  2. 2500

    2500 Guest

    move out. plain and simple. you keep saying how you've worked so hard allll these years, and have money saved up, this and that. well, use the money and move out. get a buddy to move out with you, rent will be pretty cheap. if you can't keep the new car, give it back and buy something you can dump money into like you wanted. that is the only answer.
     
  3. Ix dOc xI

    Ix dOc xI New Member

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    Its not financially smart for me to do that right now. Yes ive worked hard. Yes I have money saved up. But I dont make enough money to maintain myself, so I would just end up draining my savings account and come crying back to my parents a year from now. Ive been looking for a new job and if I did make enough money to be able to afford to move out, I wouldnt be posting this. You say for me to move out and buy a car and dump money into it, if I cant afford to move out how could I afford to dump money into a car? I have hobbies and I enjoy them, but im not an idiot. I know my priorities. Thanks for the reply, I guess its better than nothing.
     
  4. 2500

    2500 Guest

    well i just thought if you were at the same job for 5 years, and your paren't barely let you go out, you don't put money into a car, i just didn't see how you couldn't get on your own. plus i assumed if you've been there and are in so good with the boss, that he would be paying you pretty well. what area of the country are you in? i know in tennessee, apartments are only like, 300 bucks a month for decent ones. mines 450 but its considered "the best" haha. what about friends. if you split a place with a roomate, it won't be that bad. well, i thought it was a good idea considering the only other option is unfortunately "deal with it."
     
  5. Nightrox

    Nightrox I'm a brownie

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    Yeah move out bud.
    Thats bs living situation at your age.
     
  6. Ix dOc xI

    Ix dOc xI New Member

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    I have roughly 15k saved up. Me and my boss are close, but that doesnt change the expense/profit of the place I work at, which means I dont get paid that much. I get paid roughly minimum wage but in cash. And I live in the North East, apartments here are alot more than that, ha shit if an apartment was 400$ around here i'd be gone. But yeah..I dont spend money on my car, but I pay for all my own clothes, if I go out to eat, I built a new computer last year, etc. Once I get my new phone next week im going to start paying for that myself, just so its one less thing for them to bitch about. I think im stuck dealing with it, I just had to let all that out somewhere. I need to find a way and try to make them understand, but theyre so stubborn and hard headed. I can easily talk to my mother, but she doesnt care about what I say. She still thinks shes right and that im wrong. If I complain all she says is that im trying to flip the parenting table and boss her around, she has a really dumb way of taking situations seriously, its almost childish. ugh.
     
  7. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Return the car to your parents, pay them a nominal fee for its use during the time you had it, and then get a beater - there's one thing they can no longer hold over your head. Don't worry too much about a mediocre semester at college; that happens reasonably often as people adjust to college life (it's not high school). Ignore your sister, she's immature and it's not worth it to sink to her level.

    Unfortunately if you don't like the rules of the household, you're simply going to have to get out of it. It may not make financial sense to leave now, but consider that you seem to be paying a rather high emotional price to stay under your parents' roof, and you're also having your actions monitored and obliged to obey a curfew. You can get a student loan and apply for scholarships to continue with your education (if that's what YOU want to do), and if you're worried about living expenses, get a roommate.
     
  8. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

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    I went through that kind of shit when my mom re-married. Step-dad treated me like shit and she always sided with him. Moved out when I was 17 and haven't looked back.

    Move out and continue on with life.
    Or maybe try discussing it with them more, letting them know how you feel and that if they don't back off you're going to leave.
     
  9. LittleStar

    LittleStar New Member

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    I would definitely move out as well. If you have to, find a roomate to share an apartment and the expenses with. With having 15k in the bank and being a responsible worker, you should be fine to live on your own. Get another job if need be. Keep working hard and stand up for yourself. It's hard...believe me I know...I left home at 17 and emancipated myself through the court system.

    Like Teo said, return the car to your parents...look through an Auto Trader and find a beater for 1 or 2k. It will be WORTH IT. If you want out as badly as you say you do, you CAN make this work.

    One last idea...College? Enroll, go to school, get student loans, and live in campus housing. Go to an out of state school at that. I know you said you didn't apply to colleges "in time". Screw that, you can still go. I went a year and a half late and still managed to get almost 4k in scholarships and loans. The money is out there to go to school. If you have to use school as a way out, do it. You'll get an education in the process.

    Just my ideas. Hope they helped a little!
     

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