SRS My Insides (long post but it's all I have to give)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by NikkiKittie, Aug 14, 2005.

  1. NikkiKittie

    NikkiKittie New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2005
    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I am going through a really rough time in my life right now and I just dont know how to approch it. I am trying too keep possitive as much as possible but it is so hard.
    I'll give you a run down of the last few weeks in order of occurance.
    1. Had my anus severly damaged by sex toy experiment (please don't laugh :eek4: )
    2. Got a black eye from a shaving cream can falling on my face while laying in a nice relaxing bath.
    3. Got horrible yeast infection
    4. Was informed my roommate was ditching me one day in advance (and fucking me over for money in the process)
    5. Found out the horrible yeast infection was accually Genital Herpies (transmitted during the action of a one night stand after the bar while feeling pretty low about the solo "sex toy experiments" going on for the last 4 months.)
    6. Got stung by a bee at work
    7. Sliced my finger with a knife at work which resulted in my very first stitch and a tetnese(sp?) shot.

    8......This just happened tonight. I bit of history needed. When I was younger I lived with my cousin of 3 boys. The youngest and me had this game that we would play. One of us would pretend we were a slave and the other one the "master". We would touch over clothes and kiss with out lips tucked in so it wasn't real kissing. So this to me now feels like I participated in an act of incest (even though we were about 6-8 years old and didnt really understand that concept). One day it just stopped.
    Well tonight, after over 10 years had gone and passed without a word ever spoken about it to anyone (this is my first time ever telling this story), he appeared to be hitting on me and tried to stay the night by pretending to crash on my bed. He sorta rubbed my leg a few times and at one point when I was in the other room he called me into the poker room and whispered in my ear, "please stay in here, I like it with you in the room."
    Now dont think he is some pervert cuz he isn't. He is just your adverage 20 year old male doing things and hanging out like every other 20 year old. I just don't know how to respond to this and how to react. I am definatly not interested in even bringing up the subject at all with him. It totally freaks me out and I feel so bad because he obviously is feeling something about it right now. Not knowing if it is good or bad thoughts.
    Things just keep getting more and more morbid and I don't know if I can physically or mentally deal with this when my emotions are so scattered. I don't know what I am looking for from this post....advice, acceptance, sypathy, or just plain understanding. Please just give me something if you can.

    Love your sorrowful mistress:
    NikkiKittie:wtc:
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    NO MORE PSYCHO SHIT.

    That's the advice i want to give you.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    The first 3 rules of a famous chess book are

    Be Careful
    Be Careful
    Be Careful

    That's the rule that you should apply to the moves that you make in life, i once was reckless like you too. I got injured many times , and there was one girl in my class who never had anything happend to her in her entire life, the question that run thru my mind was 'why?' the answer was because she was a very cautious person. Its a sort of rule of life that , the more risk you take, the more hurt you can get. Avoid unnecessary risks in your life, and create a safe enviroment for yourself. The job that you do can cost you your life, damage your back, or hurt you mentally into a wreckage, choises create realities, therefore you need to make wise choises that create a safe enviroment in your life.

    Your 20 year old cousin wouldn't mind having sex with you, or even with a tree if he has too. Hormones kill a persons sanity, people live short so sex plays a huge part of their lives, but every action that you make has consequenses. You lack responsibility, and need to ' stay normal '. Your looking for Big fun but it can cause BIG trouble. Remember that and maby you can start living a normal life and stay safe.
     
  4. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,957
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    Tell your cousin you have herpes. His advances will stop
     

Share This Page