SRS My girlfriend wants to get tested(anonymous thread)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Jul 28, 2009.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Thats it. She wants to go get tested wednesday afternoon. Simple enough, but I am absolutely terrified. I have had, as best as I can remember, 12 partners that have come and gone, and in most cases come back around, since I've been sexually active starting in 2001. I have been unprotected with many at one time or another and two of these were initially virgins but have reconnected since, negating that 'security' as it were.

    She, my girlfriend, started a birth control regiment two months/cycles ago, and should have been starting her third and finished her period. The medicine is YAZ and she and I both have read many stories about how it causes infections and complications for the first few months. She had both a UTI right before her first period on YAZ and a yeast infection before her second, both of which she was treated for and should be 'clear' of.

    She is still having discomfort in her....outer parts (it makes me uncomfortable to even type it) to the point where she is visably uncomfortable.

    I am her first sexual partner and she brought up the idea of us both getting tested, both for the overall reassurance and health of the relationship and to rule out any infection as a possibility of the cause of her discomfort, although I suspect the latter is more the case (and who am I to blame her?). She has told me my past number of partners sometimes bothers her.

    My issue here is that I am petrified. I have never really thought about getting tested before. She mentioned that her and her little BFF talked about my number of partners and she, her friend, also thought it was very high for my age (early 20's), although I never thought of it as being extraordinary. I have never had any symptoms of any infection, just the usual male scratch and tingle routine. After thinking and reading up on it, I know that I am at high risk for having HPV due to my number of partners.

    I just need people to talk about this to. I would never approach my brothers/parents on the issue even though they know my history. It is just not acceptable in my family or the circles they are in. I'm afraid of how I would react to the news that I did have something and my mind is constantly running out worst case scenarios. If I gave her something, I would never forgive myself and I dont know if I could deal with it.

    Thanks for taking the time to read this and I'll be reading your responses for advice.
     
  2. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    i've been tested several times, it isn't fun but it is something you should do for your sake and your partners. if you really are that scared, make an appointment with a doc ahead of time and go get tested that way if anything should show up, you know in advance. if not, it takes away the pressure from you.

    best of luck, but its time to grow up and do the responsible thing. far too many diseases passed around because people are simply too lazy to get checked out.
     
  3. M. Todorov

    M. Todorov New Member

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    You better go test yourself. It's the best thing you both can do. Even if you have something it's better to know for its existence so you can treat it. Not to mention that all the unsecurity and stress will die out immediately after you get the good news. In both cases I think it will have positive effect on your relationship.
     
  4. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You and she should both be tested. Choose life.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    fyi they dont test men for HPV. Hell a lot of clinics aren't even testing for herpese anymore unless you have the symptoms.
     
  6. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    every new partner I have, I always make sure we both get tested first and both agree to have the doctors notify us BOTH of the results. Otherwise, no deal.

    This is what you should have done from the get-go to avoid all the stress the uncertainty is causing you now.

    But the best thing to do at this point, is do what you should have done in the first place. Both people tested and results given to both you and her.

    It's none of your family's business. They don't need to know if you don't want them to. There is always the risk that your girlfriend may tell your family if a result comes back positive, but that is a risk you have to consider and prepare for.

    If you've made a mistake, there's nothing left to do but face it and know that you can't change the past. Try to do your best in dealing with any negative outcomes and at least you will know in your heart that it was your best effort and there was nothing else you could do.
     
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    .
     
  8. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    why would you be afraid of knowledge?
     
  9. jtrem

    jtrem Active Member

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    Because then you have to deal with it.
     
  10. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I'd rather find out now if I have some stupid infection that could (later) cause infertility.
     
  11. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    I've done it too its a little nerve racking but you are probably worrying over nothing, go to a planned parenthood the test is cheap and you'll have the results in probably 2 days
     
  12. jtrem

    jtrem Active Member

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    Just saying in general this is why people fear knowledge.
     
  13. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I understand, and agree it can be nerve racking, but knowing is ALWAYS better.
     
  14. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    If you don't have any symptoms, why would you worry about being tested for std's.
    Get it done and then your mind will be at ease, you have nothing to worry about, the chances of you having a life threatening disease are practically nil if you're not gay or an IV drug user.
     
  15. crunchy_black

    crunchy_black OT Supporter

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    How much truth is there about gay people and STD's ?

    How much of it is bullshit from religious & political fucks?

    'Thats what you deserve for being gay' etc etc. ?
    'It's a gay disease'
     
  16. 7960

    7960 New Member

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    I notice you picked up on his saying gay, but not IV drug user............... interesting that you'd think the gay part was bullshit, but the IV drug user part wasn't.
     
  17. Daria

    Daria New Member

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    STDs/STIs and how they are transferred has to do with how the bacteria/virus involved lives and has nothing to do with whether a man passed in onto a woman/man/vice versa
     
  18. Helios

    Helios New Member

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    Unless a straight guy has open cuts/abraisions/etc. it is more difficult to get an std from a woman during vaginal sex, because the fluid transfer to the male is limited or nonexistant.
     
  19. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    You are either infected or not -- all you're doing is finding out which. The test isn't what you should be afraid of.
     
  20. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Correct.

    If you're not infected. good on you.

    If you are infected, don't you think you have something real to worry about?
     
  21. Spats

    Spats Guest

    I don't think anyone is really afraid of the test itself, but the results.
     
  22. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    Personally, I think anyone who is sexually active should be tested on a regular bases. Regardless of whether they are in a long-term committed relationship. I've been married for almost 6 years, and despite being completely monogamous for the first 4 (we have an Open Relationship now), I've always been tested. Anyone who thinks "well, I've never slept with anyone who's gay or who's done IV drugs" is just showing their ignorance. And just because a person "looks" clean, doesn't mean they are. Oh, and not everyone shows symptoms of having an STD and can still carry it and pass it on. Food for thought.

    And while I like Daria's idea of having the results released to your new partner as well, I haven't felt the need for that but DO share my results with my partner(s) and expect my partner(s) to do the same. I have never been disappointed thus far. If I feel that I can't trust my partner(s) to tell me the results or to be honest with me in regards to their results, I won't be having sex with them.

    And yes, I'm 100% STD free.
     
  23. disley

    disley Ooooh no it isn't. Ooooh yes it is. OT Supporter

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    As far as I know, not that I'm an expert on these things, is that most std's are curable.
    HIV is the only one that isn't, although medication can prolong your life by decades now.
    This isn't gay or druggie bashing but a statistical fact, the chances of catching HIV is far higher if you're gay or an IV drug user. It can happen if you're neither of these, but it's highly unlikely.
    Get tested so you know where you stand, but if you have no symptoms and you've not had any sex with someone else for a long time, I very much doubt if you have anything.
     
  24. BadKat

    BadKat GIVE ME WINE!!

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    WRONG.

    HIV, Herpes & HPV are not curable. All are sexually transmitted. Herpes you can even get just by performing oral sex or rubbage, no penetration needed.
     
  25. Thoth

    Thoth OT Supporter

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    ever known a kid to have a wart on his hand or foot back in school? guess what, thats HPV. your body will eventually get rid of it itself. you are correct about the other two though. fuck getting them :ugh:
     

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