SRS My girlfriend told me she is bi....Her "number" is pretty high too

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Guz200sx, May 30, 2006.

  1. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    See thread in FS for full details on what went down my memorial day sexcapedes.
    http://forums.offtopic.com/showthread.php?p=57148764#post57148764

    In between one of those sexcapedes, my girl told me she is bi and that she even had a semi-long relationship with a girl. I didn't clarify it but I think her first sexual experience was a girl. She was telling me about her first time with a girl and she mentioned she was still a virgin? I don't think she thinks that girls count or whatever

    She said with guys she had been with 4 serious relationships but i told her she had to count one night stands too so she did so her count went up by 3 so total was 7 then later in the weekend she told me was bi so her count went up again to 10. So 10 people total and she is 21yrs old. I don't care about the number really but its the bi part that is bothering me and I don't know why its bothering me because I've always dreamed about finding a girl that is bi. That, imo, would be heaven but now that I have found one, I don't know how to take it in.

    I, of course, told her I didn't care about it but....Its on my mind now and i'm thinkin about how to take it all in.

    edit: btw, I should have mentioned...Her past history as a child was difficult (and screwed up) so that all leads into this and also she told me she wouldn't do a 3some now because she believes it screws up the relationship.
     
  2. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Just because she is bisexual doesn't mean it was caused by a rough childhood. That is almost certainly not the case.

    She's bi. She's had a few partners. You're a little uncomfortable with this. If you like her and are worthy, you will get over it.

    What more is there to say?
     
  3. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Well,
    Her bio mom is bi too and a former stripper (i think) so she used to see that tpye of lifestyle and her mom with other women plus she used to see her mom with various guys all the time. Later as she got older her mom become abusive and addicted to drugs. She left and went into foster care.

    So I think that partly played into the "founding herself" stage in her life.

    I am little uncomfortable with the bi part but its just me being weird I guess.
    I don't just like her, Peyomp. I love her...very deeply. She loves me too. We just spent 4 days together and I already f'ing miss her.

    I feel a little better now though after typing it out....:hs:

     
  4. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Right, but one's sexual preference isn't something determined by trauma. Her mom normalizing would have served to normalize bisexuality, which is a good thing. Less shame for her.

    Since you love her, you'll get over it. You should talk about it. Just work on being accepting of her sexuality, and remember... sex in a loving couple is about the celebration of sexuality. So you need to be comfortable with hers. It can take a little time, and thats okay.
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Are you worried that she'll leave you for another woman, and because you're a man you have no defense for this? Cheating is cheating no matter who you do it with, so if she's a woman of integrity she'll recognize this fact and not go outside the relationship. I see no reason for you to be any more/less worried than you would have been without this new information. The only thing you should be bothered with is ensuring that your definition of cheating lines up with hers.
     
  6. scaryice

    scaryice New Member

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    Actually, the way you're raised almost certainly has everything to do with sexual orientation (and everything else for that matter). Not necessarily a choice, though.
     
  7. Peyomp

    Peyomp New Member

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    Actually, what gender(s) you are attracted to is strongly determined by genetics, and although there is certainly an environmental influence it is in no way as simple as "gay parents produce gay children," since this is absolutely false.
     
  8. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    No I'm not worried that she will cheat on me because she told me she wouldn't do that now with another girl. She said that was a stage she went through of trying to find herself. She also she wouldn't get into a relationship with a woman now because of her daughter. She doesn't want to subject her to that...I guess kind of like her mother did to her.

    I did talk to her about it and told her that usually its kind of hard as a man to wonder about his girl if she will stray with another guy but its even harder when you gotta worry about it with girls too. She told me wouldn't and I didn't have anything to worry about. I told her I trust her and I would take her word for it and I told her I would never stray either with another woman either.
     
  9. Guz200sx

    Guz200sx The man who does more than he is paid for will soo

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    Thats what she said...that she didn't want to subject her daughter to that enviroment so she wouldn't pursue a relationship with another woman. She said if her daughter were to be that way she wants her to be that way by her own choice and not by things she may have seen from her.

    Also she said, for a long time she was not having success with guys. She kept finding the ones who need fixing and she taught she could fix them or help them so I think she got tired and tried the girl thing. But she says now that she has found me, I am different And so far, it looks like I don't need any fixing. I am different from any other guy she has been with. I seem to have more direction in my life, I guess.
     

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