My girlfriend started drinking again...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by zmiller91, Jun 27, 2008.

  1. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    i dont drink, and for the first time in about a year my girlfriend started drinking. i really dont know what to do, i really could not be more disapointed in her. im afraid that she is going to change into something she was before. i dont know what to do, does anyone have any advice?

    *flamesuit on and ready*
     
  2. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    drinking makes ever woman into a whore. it's a fact. you should seriously worry because she's going to stop loving you when that sweet alcohol touches her lips.
     
  3. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    How old are you both?

    How often does she drink? Was it a problem before?

    I don't think drinking once in a while is a big deal, nor is partying once in a while either as long as she invites you to the parties she goes to.

    If she's an alcoholic or parties every single weekend and doesn't ever want you to come along with her then yea, it's a problem.
     
  4. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    and by drinking you mean what? is she a problem drinker, or do you just not like it?
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    does she drink at home or when out? which do you consider worse, lol?
     
  6. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Why is a raven, like a writing desk?
     
  7. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    If it's not something you're willing to put up with, tell her that. Don't tell her she can't do it, but let her know that if she chooses to do it, she will lose you in her life. I had the same thing happen about a month ago...my gf started going out to parties and getting drunk around guys she knew wanted to get into her pants (I was even invited to these parties, but she said she didn't want me to go). I told her she has every right to choose what she does, but if she makes that decision again she can pack up her stuff and move out because I also have every right not to deal with it if I don't want to. She got the message, and apparently I was more important to her than drinking because she's done a 180, basically. She was invited to go out with the same group of people a few weeks later and she told them she shouldn't because she doesn't want to accidently screw up and lose me.

    I think that's a perfectly fair solution. You're not telling her she can't do it, but you ARE telling her that there will be consequences if she makes that decision again. It's not about controlling, it's about letting her know exactly what you are and are not willing to deal with.
     
  8. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Because it can produce a few notes, tho they are very flat; and it is nevar put with the wrong end in front.

    What was she before? Was she that before you started dating? Or did she change for you/your relationship?
     
  9. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    If she turns into something that you don't want then you have to move on :dunno:

    in for all your answers to the previous questions though
     
  10. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    Sorry for the lack of details. We are both seniors in highschool. Her and her previous boyfriend broke up becuase she drank, and then she decided to stop. She just drank once (i know, not that big of a deal), but thats not what im afriad of, im afriad that she is going to maket his into a habit.

    She wasnt really bad before, and she didnt change for me, she changed for herself which made me really proud.

    I told her that she can do whatever she wanted, and that it was her choice not mine, but if she continues im going to be disapointed in her, and i told her that disapointment is worse than anger. She also invited me to parties, and when i told her that i dont want to be around her when shes doing that and that i dont want to see her fuck her life up, she told me that she wouldnt go and doesnt want to ruin our relationship for it. Im a little less worried now, after some sleep.
     
  11. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Meh, seniors in high school....She's probably going to get far worse into partying into college and you most likely won't be together anyhow. I still say ride it out. It obviously does bother you and you can choose to keep your mouth shut or tell her how you feel about it. Never give an ultimatum, just tell her how you feel and see if she does care about you enough to not get back into it heavily again.

    If she continues to do it and gets worse I'm sorry, but just dump and move on. You're young and not even in college yet.
     
  12. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    So she wasn't really that bad before and she even invited you out with her to have fun with her.

    Cmon dude, live a little. You don't want to see her fuck her life up? :rofl: From the sounds of it, she just goes out and parties a little bit, like every other high schooler / college student.

    You sound like an uptight boring prick.
     
  13. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    So she wasn't really bad before when she drank, but decided to stop drinking. Then had one drink which freaked you out because in your eyes drinking will ruin your life? (Edit: Damn you jmezz)


    You are in high school and seem to be making something out of nothing. Though if you don't like dating a girl that drinks then don't date a girl that drinks. You are in high school, it isn't hard to find a different girl.
     
  14. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    See, here is where you tell her that you won't put up with it...that you won't continue a relationship where you are disappointed in the other person.

    You being disappointed is not a harsh enough consequence for her...most people would say "eh, he'll get over it". If you let her know that "no, I won't put up with this and we will be done", it might make her see things a bit more clearly.

    That's just if you feel that way - I'm assuming you do, but it may not bother you enough to make that choice.

    Basically, if you don't want a girlfriend who drinks you either dump her now and find another girl who doesn't drink, or you tell her that if she drinks you will dump her and find another girl who doesn't drink. Ultimately it's her decision if she wants to go out partying (which is fine...she is her own person and has the right to choose what she does), and it's ultimately your decision whether or not you want to put up with it.
     
  15. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    she probably will change. and if she changes into something you dont like, just break up with her. no reason to give an ultimatim and say "choose me or choose drinking" just tell her you dont like it and dont want to be with someone like that. when she goes and does it again, just end it. simple as that.

    you might be better suited with a different type of girl if you dont want to get involved with drinking yet. there are others out there that might be more compatable
     
  16. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :ugh: at him being 'disappointed' in her. He's not her father. Being disappointed is something she'd hear from one of her parents. It's not a valid consequence for her.

    I can just picture how the talk went when he told her he was disappointed. :rofl:

    It doesn't even sound like she has a problem, it sounds like she's just a normal high high school student. But if he can't handle her drinking every now and then he needs to tell her that she can do whatever she wants but that he won't be with someone who drinks.

    None of that 'disappointed' bullshit.
     
  17. DrK_Mrk_iV

    DrK_Mrk_iV OT Supporter

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    Agreed. You'll have a different perspective when you go off to college. Drinking doesn't really change you.
     
  18. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    honestly, it seems to me you're making a big deal about nothing, but every person has their own limitations so if you're unhappy with it you need to tell her you cannot be with someone who drinks. Maybe, though, you should try and go to a party with her while she is drinking, and see that alcohol doesnt
    "fuck up your life" when used in moderation, and that she probably does not act vastly different from normal. When you go to college, things will be much worse. You need to have trust in each other, and you obviously dont trust her to be responsible when drinking.

    Did you have some kind of trauma surrounding alcohol as a kid, or are you just incredibly uncomfortable with it? If she's only having a couple of drinks and acting in a responsible manner, then I'm sure her own ideals dont correlate with yours.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: Sure about that statement?
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Don't spend too much time getting her to change. If she's a drinker then she's a drinker and if that is a red flag for you, you will have much better luck finding someone who fits what you want than you will trying to change someone into what you want.
     
  21. AutoEuphoria

    AutoEuphoria New Member

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    Yup, don't try to change her...let her know you won't put up with it, and if she does it again your relationship will be over. If/when she does it again, have the balls to follow through.
     
  22. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    dude, weak, seriously weak. That's a speech straight from the parenting handbook.

    On that alone, I would be willing to bet you guys won't stay together.
     
  23. djshotglass

    djshotglass New Member

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    she drank once :hsugh:

    delete this thread
     
  24. zmiller91

    zmiller91 New Member

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    i probably am making a bigger deal out of this. i dont really know why i posted it here, honestly, as of now i dont really care. i think i freaked because i had so much respect for her and then she just lost a bit of it. I dont care if people drink, and i am not up tight, i just dont feel like doing it now. i have better things to do, and drinking is not one of them. In college i probably will drink, but now i just have to much to lose.

    and i said that i dont want to see her fuck her life up, becuase the people shes drinking with arent exactly the best role models.
     
  25. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    Whats wrong with drinking brah?
    There is nothing wrong with it, as long as you don't do stupid things like drink too much. :dunno:
     

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