My girlfriend of a year broke it off with me two months ago. She came to my apartment and gave me several reasons for this. Her = 19 Me = 22 1. She felt that my happiness was too dependent on her actions. If I wanted to talk to her and she wasn't available, she felt like I became sad (which is true) and she had to much control over how I felt. 2. She felt as if our relationship wasn't special anymore. The first 8 months were fun, spontaneous, and romantic. The last 4 were routine and boring. We did the same thing every night (watched movies and ate dinner) and I stopped surprising her with gifts or trips. 3. She felt like I got upset when she didn't want to sleep over at my place, or if she wanted to go hang out with her friends and not see me for a few days (this is true.) She felt like she was losing her sense of being an individual. 4. She said I let myself go and wasn't aesthetically respectful around her anymore (this is true too.) 5. She said things got too serious too fast. At first she thought the idea of talking about marriage was cute but then it became too much for her. She said she wanted to date a lot of different guys before she got married. My questions for OT: 1. I feel like I'm not very happy unless I'm with someone who cares about me (maybe this is because I grew up feeling alone and alienated from my family & friends.) How can I be happy on my own so I'm not draining for someone else? 2. How can I resist the urge to be with someone all the time and not smother them? How can I NOT ACT and FEEL so clingy? 3. What's the different between attachment and love? 4. How can I keep the next relationship from becoming boring and routine? I feel like there are some lessons I need to learn and things I need to work on before I do anything serious like this again. It's been 2 months since the breakup, I was devastated, and I finally feel like I'm okay now. I'd like to date again but maybe I'm not ready.