My GF's mind on overdrive just may as well killed our relationship, I'm lost now

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by weezerfan, Dec 5, 2008.

  1. weezerfan

    weezerfan New Member

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    We've been together for 3 years, usually don't argue about anything and everything has been great up until recently. Some time ago she started getting these thoughts in her head that would drive her insane and ultimately put her in terrible moods.

    I got her to spill out what these thoughts were and main gist of it was, "is this the right guy for me?", "do I want to spend the rest of my life with him?","you're only young and pretty once, how do I know he's the right one?", "I'll never get into nursing school", "I'm sick of my job".

    I could tell when she was going through this because she treated me different, and I could see that she was down about things. So I would talk sense into her and get her to calm down, and she went back to being herself again.

    Now this week she must of had a mental nuke and called me over Monday saying we should take a break so she could figure this out on her own. I had lunch with her today and she claims her mind is wanting to go in two directions.

    Either end the relationship to clear her of these thoughts....or that she loves me and doesn't want to screw up a great thing

    She claims she still loves me and I love her greatly, but i'm not sure she'll be able to convince her mind of this. I just don't know what to do, I can't bear losing her.

    What do you guys think is going on here, or what I should do?
     
  2. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    sounds like shes trying to decide if being with you is what she really wants. in which case, there isnt much you can really do. its something she needs to think through on her own.

    are you guys in college?
     
  3. weezerfan

    weezerfan New Member

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    yes

    She's in between right now because she has to apply to nursing schools, which is also stressing her out because she doesn't think she can get in due to how competitive they are.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I don't think there is anything you can do. I've seen many relationships end because people think the grass might be greener elsewhere. Sad part is when they see the other side it is rarely as green and they end up regretting their decision.

    I think you are SOL and are nearing the end of your relationship.
     
  5. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    sounds like she is going to dump you.

    id be proactive and be all cheerful like yeah I think a break is a great idea it will give us a chance to see other people and just act like you dont give a shit.

    but i bet you are going to be whiny clingy and annoying in her mind and just get the dump stick going out looking like a chump
     
  6. Grimey

    Grimey New Member

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    Not necessarily, though he cannot force the issue... as I have seen, this will only make women realize they were right and definitely make up their mind that they want to end things.

    He just has to let the pieces fall ATM and see where she stands in a few weeks or so, maybe even a month. The true test will be during and/or after the holidays... if she can make it through that, then it's not looking good. But if there is any kind of positive contact, there is still hope.
     
    Last edited: Dec 5, 2008
  7. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    makes sense, you both are at a point in life where things are changing and you are growing and changing into a new person. she needs to figure out if you and your relationship fits with who is is changing to be and where she wants to go.

    shes going to have to make this choice on her own. hopefully it works out for you guys, no matter what she chooses
     
  8. Grimey

    Grimey New Member

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    THIS is what he cannot do.

    He can feel like that inside, but she's expecting him to be like that. He should flip the switch and tell her that it might be a good idea for a little while. This will throw a wrench into her thought process and screw everything up and put the ball in his court potentially... I know, I've done it.

    Then again, this same formula doesn't work with EVERY girl.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    It's over in her mind.

    All you can do is pretend not to care which may salvage it for a few months of extra sex, but the relationship is over.

    If I was a bookie I would place the odds of her fucking other guys (plural) before 1/31/09 at 90%.




    edit - sorry dude. Most guys have been there. I have, too (on both sides of that equation). It sucks. What you will come to realize in time is that you are better off without her.
     
  10. RollinDollos

    RollinDollos Guest

    All women have episodes with crazy thoughts and the girl friend always loves to take it out on the SO. Taking personal issues out is just part of a relationship, its just a matter of how you diffuse it.

    Its a test to see if two people are compatible. When test numbers start dropping its extremely unattractive for the woman. By nature the woman becomes annoyed at the male who wasted her time in the search for a husband or happiness. Sometimes its just not meant to be.
     
  11. RollinDollos

    RollinDollos Guest


    It does with most. If flipping the switch still doesn't work it creates some form of attraction.
     
  12. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    look, im only advocating what i am advocating so instead of you being the sad emo little bitch you make her regret the decision.

    someone is going to be a whiny cry baby loser here and it might as well not be you
     
  13. Grimey

    Grimey New Member

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    spot on
     
  14. Grimey

    Grimey New Member

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    Exactly.

    He's obviously going to be talking to her again at some point, so when they speak again, just see where she's headed... and if she's standing her grounds, agree with her that it might be a good idea and that you need space.

    It will fuck with her head, cause every girl is expecting you to beg for them back. It's a woman's nature.
     
  15. JakeTheSnake41

    JakeTheSnake41 OT Supporter

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    Pull a George Costanza, pre-emptive break up.

    Get the upper hand
     
  16. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    I take back everything I said and fully endorse this idea.
     
  17. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    seriously, thread starter. you are going to get dumped. its inevitable.

    pre-emptive break up is your only option to come away from this as a bad ass.
     
  18. JakeTheSnake41

    JakeTheSnake41 OT Supporter

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    Or give her space. Neglect her. Tell her to think it over if you're "worth it". Make her feel like shit. Pick up 1/4 of her phone calls and act weird on the phone as if you don't know her like you thought you did. In this sense, she will feel bad and/or sad. This way she will either realize you're perfect for her or you have an ex that you can fuck on the side for years to come, all because of how it ended.

    The last part would be the best-case long term scenario, considering you're in college and should be hitting every piece of ass, because just like her logic, you're only young and pretty once.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You do nothing. This is her decision. Somewhere along the way, whether she met a diffeent guy or not, she started to realize you might not be "the one" for her. She's at an age where life is changing a lot for her and it's a hard time to go through for a couple. You know that really lame cliche quote about letting a butterfly go and if it comes back it was meant to be? Well that's honestly what you need to do.

    This decision is completely up to her. Your best bet of keeping her is by telling her you understand how she is feeling (even if you dont) and that she should take time to figure out what she wants. At that point you need to cease contacting her. Only let her contact you.
     
  20. evh

    evh Active Member

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    best advice in this thread. i wouldn't mention the "see other people" part, but definitely don't act negatively towards the idea.
     
  21. evh

    evh Active Member

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    absolutely correct 100%
     
  22. NuShooz

    NuShooz OT Supporter

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    :werd: this is completely 100% all her. The best way to go about is to act the same as you always have with her. I know you probably have a sense of helplessness and an obligation to do something about it, but there isn't much you can do except continue to love her the way you always have. If you guys break up, it was meant to be...if you guys stay together, then it was meant to be...
     
  23. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    LOL @ all of the its all her shit.


    george constanza pre-emptive break up strike.

    turn it into your shit
     
  24. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    It sounds like she's acting pessimistic in general which is bad news. The only thing you can do to help is to better yourself. If she's unsure about herself she's likely unsure about you as a provider and personal entertainer.
     
  25. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    I think right now all you can really do is support her and give her what she needs during this time. Tell her that you love her and that you don't want to lose her of course so she knows where you stand. Sometimes boys have a habit of trying to pull things apart and fix it when really the girl wants is just a hug and support.
     

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