My gf talks to me rudely all the time when I ask her simple questions.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by cocoakrispies, Oct 3, 2007.

  1. cocoakrispies

    cocoakrispies New Member

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    I don't really respect her much anymore because of it. I have tried to talk to her about it, we've been together a little over 2 years and not much has changed.

    Ex. Her birthday was this past weekend. I decorated my place, had a party for her, etc. Add to that I cook dinner for this girl ALL THE TIME, almost everyday.

    The next day she was in the kitchen making lunch and I asked her nicely if she would make me a hot dog, and she just said "no." with so much attitude.

    It's not about the hot dog, but I just don't feel like she appreciates anything I do.
     
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    1) don't do things just to gain recognition or affection in return.
    2) if you are tired of being treated sub par, maybe it's time to move on?



    what's keeping you in the relationship?
     
  3. cocoakrispies

    cocoakrispies New Member

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    I don't do them for recognition/affection in return. I do them because I love her and it's just what I feel compelled to do.

    But when she talks very rudely to me over really simple questions, I just have lost all patience for it. I then question why I treat her so well if she wants to have an attitude about everything.

    She's even done it to my mother and sister.

    I have been considering moving on. Things weren't like this for a while. I've tried to see if there is something bothering her, but she always acts like she is fine. She just has no patience and will become very irritable over miniscule things.
     
  4. KindlyCuddly

    KindlyCuddly Irina Lazareanu

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    Then maybe you two just aren't compatible?
     
  5. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    Again, why are you still with her then? This sounds like something that my _best_ friend does to a lot of people. He doesn't do it to me, and when he does I do it right back at him -- it usually turns into banter between the two of us. However, when he talks like that to other people and they respond to him nicely it amazes me how weak they are.

    Next time cook yourself dinner and don't make her anything. When she throws a fit about her dinner just say "no". Stop being a nice guy for a day and snap back. I'm not saying you need to be a dick, but sometimes being rude and making someone feel like shit is what they need.
     
  6. cocoakrispies

    cocoakrispies New Member

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    We are on many levels. I've just felt lately that she's been really selfish and takes me for granted. I suppose I'm just trying to think things through, rather than just making a rash decision.
     
  7. cocoakrispies

    cocoakrispies New Member

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    I've stood my ground before over certain issues, and she'll be more cordial for a few days, then go right back to her poor attitude about everything. I'm generally a positive person.

    I just try to treat others the way I want to be treated. She's even asked me to point out to her nicely when she does these things. I've done so, and she complains about that. I've tried to be patient and understanding, but I'm fed up with it.
     
  8. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    See above. Quit being so nice and tell her to chill the fuck out or leave. How long have you two been together?

    edit: nevermind forgot you said it in the first post. Anyway, being nice for a day only buys you three, so be rude every other day until she stops it completely. When she asks you to do something for her just say "no" once or twice and she'll get the hint.
     
  9. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    that'll work just as well as disciplining a puppy 3 hours after he pees in the corner. the attention span just isn't there. nor the connection.

    maybe i'm shortsighted, but i cant think of any time when passive agressiveness works for the better.....
     
  10. daneeyah

    daneeyah Guest

    Don't take it.
    If shes rude be straight up with her like wth is wrong with you, don't talk to me like that, got it. Hopefully after you do that it'll hit her that she's being so rude and she'll feel some sort of guilt.

    If you take it she'll just walk all over you, and continue to take out her anger or whatever that may be bothering her out on you.
    And you don't deserve that.

    I hate it when girls do crap like this to guys who are good to them. I'm a girl myself and I see this happen all the time with my friends. They'll have an argument in front of me with their BF, and then afterwards be like see what he just did to me..
    Uuuh did you not just hear yourself? :rolleyes:
     
  11. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    don't be super sensitive and make a big deal out of these things. Just show some aggression. Give out a good, scoffing "WTF" now and again. Imitate her tonality and sarcastically go "Meowr", imitating a feisty cat. Then
    move on. Dont get soft and hurt about it. Just reject it BRIEFLY and move on. You can even be nice directly afterwards.

    This kind of thing makes a girl proudly post on OT that her man doesn't take her shit.
     
  12. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    Passive aggressiveness feels good for people who are focused
    on the injustice of it all and want to in their minds restore the
    balance. It has nothing to do w actually working anything out.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    It doesn't matter if you are compatible on "many levels" if she doesn't treat you with respect. There are billions of other women in the world, there's no need to put up with someone treating you like that.
     
  14. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    Quite honestly and I'm going to put it, in such a way that you might gain a full grasp of what I mean... You are being a spineless CHUMP! Yup, thats it...

    Look, no wonder she doesn't fucking respect you. She's rude to you and you take it??? On top of that you do all of these things for her? Wow, well you really placed yourself well, mr.doormat. YOU HAVE TO find a BACKBONE, stand up for yourself, not have SWEAT Talks with her about it, but say

    "LISTEN WOMAN" I'm not sure what makes you think you can talk to me like that, or what makes you think you aren't making me that hot-dog, so you can either make me the hot dog, or im OUTY! period, end of story no discussion.

    A woman only respects a man, who well is a "MAN" so MAN UP! and show it.

    A man should not start fights, a man should always be respectful, however first and foremost that means respecting himself! and when someone shows him disrespect, he thus should take action... It's not that difficult a concept to comprehend. Good luck. If she still doesn't get the point, then it is up to the man to once again call upon the back-bone clause, and get OUT! dump, release, move on.
     
  15. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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  16. jared_IRL

    jared_IRL OT Supporter

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    Nice. Fucking :bowdown: post.
     
  17. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    there is a difference between doing nice things and expecting something in return and

    treating someone consistently well and expecting similiar treament in return. Thats called being a decent human
     
  18. Mr. Bungle

    Mr. Bungle *lube'n up the shock paddles*

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    Get out, it'll only get worse and forget it. You don't want someone who is negative in your life like that...

    And being rude to your family for no reason other than the fact she wants to be a bitch...WRONG.

    If I was your sister I would have already had a talk with her and she'd either shape up or get the fawk out.
     
  19. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    As much as I think I would laugh at my boyfriend if said something like "I'm outy," this guy has a point. I'll admit that I pout some when I get put in my place, but I actually like. I like that my boyfriend stands up for himself and asserts himself as the man in the relationship. I don't want a guy that will let me get away with being bitchy.

    My point is, you can't have a successful relationship where you don't feel respected. Taking her crap isn't going to do anything except postpone the fight. It doesn't solve anything. Next time she's rude to you, tell her to quit snapping at you and you aren't going to take her crap. I'd avoid the words like "bitch" if possible, because you want to assert yourself without disrespecting her (that way you are 100% blameless, she'll have nothing to throw back at you). Just tell her that you're tired of her attitude and you aren't going to deal with it. She's either going to treat you with respect or she's gone.

    Edit: based on everything else you said, this chick really isn't worth keeping around anyway...
     
  20. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I concur :werd:
     
  21. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I have to be honest, this is not GOOD advice, especially for a man. LOOK, he said he has tried talking to her about it and it goes back to the same shit.
    A MAN needs to be one of ACTION not words... So he has to stand up for himself, and quit sharing his feelings with her.... WAKE UP
     
  22. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    I'm sorry friend, but thats complete fucking horse-shit, you're telling me a woman has no idea that her being rude or short with her man isn't something he's going to like? Oh she has a BIG idea, she just doesn't give a shit, why? because he's got no back-bone so she's free to walk all over him... Thats how human interaction work.

    I am a big fan of talking things out, absolutely, it is a must, but in this circumstance my friend and not under these pretenses.

    Either he mans up and acts, or she will take it as more whimpering. Inevitably you do not TALK to a bully when he bullies you, you punch the sucker in his fucking mouth.
     
  23. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    when people hurt you, you assume they meant to hurt you exactly as much as they did. sucks for you. bad outlook. creates resentment + feelings like you are too much of a victim / doormat. hence "be a man!" and all that horseshit.

    in fact, the girl probably doesn't know the extent to which the OP cares
     
  24. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Why stay with someone who doesn't respect you enough to be civil and show common courtesy? Dump heer, find someone better.
     
  25. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I wonder how many relationships have ended because of OT. Seriously, I bet it's a huge number.
     

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