SRS My GF says she wants to "get away from it all" :(

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by IspitHotFire, Jun 9, 2005.

  1. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    My GF and I have been together for ~7 months (I'm 18 she's 17)

    I love her to death.

    in the past week or so she's been a little emotional, 1 week ago she kissed some other guy , she still doesn't know why and told me right away and was genuinely sorry.

    she gets emotional about how i'm too good for her and why would i want to be with her, and it always ends up her just good crying in my arms.


    So flash to today, her best friend goes off on this tangent about how they never hang out anymore and how she's 2nd to me. Friend is a known slut and encouraged her to kiss that guy ^. She says that friends are forever and our relationship might not be yadda yadda yadda. This comes out of nowhere because my GF gave up hanging out with me to go clubbing with her 3 nights ago and 2 nights ago they went out partying together.

    It's also hypocritical because now with the sluts new BF, whenever my GF goes out with her she ALWAYS sees him and they ALWAYS have sex/grope/fondle. Then the slut friend gets mad at my GF for "ditching" her to see me, which has NEVER happened and maybe sometimes at night when they are at the sluts house about to sleep i might see her for 10 minutes.

    OK so beyond that. My GF gets really upset because that girl was like one of her only real good friends. So she starts crying and tries to leave my house all of a sudden 10 minutes after they stopped IMing each other. I hold her back and shes just balling her eyes out. Finally i convince her to come inside and she cries for another 30 minutes saying she wants everything to go away and everyone hates her.

    I really do see where she's coming from. Her parents treat her like shit, she already lost one of her other best friends earlier in the year because of some girl quarrelling and she didnt want to choose sides and so the one girl stopped talking to her. She works everyday and sometimes is tired and cant hangout with her friends.

    So i finally calm her down and we go out to eat and shes feeling better. She goes home and i geuss reads something that the slut girl left on her profile that upsets her and just asks me "why is she doing this to me?"

    I call her and she is just so confused she doesn't know what to do. She keeps saying she wants to run away and get away from everything. She just lost her best friend. I'm all that she has in this world

    How can girls be so malicious towards each other. You see it even at young ages. Now my GF is confused about everything and just doesn't know what to do.

    Does anyone have any advice for me, I want nothing more then to see her happy and would do anything in the world to make it so.

    My only thing i can offer he is that she wont see most of these people again because we are going off to college in 2 months. But now the slut girl is out talking shit about her to her college roomate..... ugh.


    Help me. Anything. :wtc:
     
  2. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    and this is not a case i think where my GF is trying to tell me we need a break or something.

    God if I ever wasn't a part of her life I think she seriously would kill herself. At least in her current state now....
     
  3. Hipnotic_Tranz

    Hipnotic_Tranz Ma' Kin

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    My good god, that is nearly an exact copy of the situation I'm currently in.
     
  4. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Your GF has to find the happy medium between you, her girlfriends, working, and school. Add a less-than-perfect home life to that equation and it's no wonder she's feeling out of sorts.

    The situation sounds complicated and without knowing more about it (and you) I can't really see any clear paths to resolution. However, here are some things to consider:

    1. Friends are not forever. People grow apart after high school, more than they'd like to admit. I found that most of the friends I've kept through the years were met at college and work. On a tangent from that, the friend is right that many relationships don't work out. However, she has no right to say that yours in particular won't work out. Don't let your GF turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy.
    2. Moving away from your parents makes a world of difference. If your GF is not already planning to do so, I'd recommend that she consider it, especially if they contribute to her stress level.
    3. It sounds like the friend is acting out of spite. A friendship is a relationship and every relationship takes work. Maybe the friend misses what was there in the past when your GF had more time to devote to it. In any case, from your description she seems to be lashing out in hopes that she'll get to spend more time with your GF. If this is the case, make sure that your GF recognizes it for what it is (a loss of control from the friend's point of view) and is equipped to deal with it appropriately. Cutting you out of her (your GF's) life is not an appropriate solution.

    hth :)
     
  5. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Ok this was really scary, when i read ' She says that friends are forever and our relationship might not be yadda yadda yadda ' I heard axle Rose from guns n roses, say ' even friends can be out to hurt you ' :ugh: in my mediaplayer in the background, and dagnabbit the guy is right. This slut friend of hers, is only out to hurt everyone, she is the root to this problem, ask your gf to break up with this girl, and if she doesn't stop being friends with her, then you pack your bags immediatly and leave. You don't need someone in your life who cheats on your, and listens to evil not so friendly advices of her friend.
     
  6. IspitHotFire

    IspitHotFire 3 Greatest rappers of all time ? Dylan, Dylan, and

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    Yea, last night I told the slut friend off on aol. I then told my GF fuck her, she's a worthless friend. My GF then got sad because according to her she wont have any fun this summer..... my gf has some personal issues she has to work out along the lines of realizing that in this world it's just you no matter what. Stop caring what your friends will think, stop doing things to please other people if it doesn't please you all the time.

    She tries to put on a perfect face for everyone to see and it gets to her. So what we have is a 17 yo girl who has no self confidence or self esteem. But she should because she is beautiful, smart, funny, and almost everything else u look for in a woman....

    Sometimes in the back of my head I wonder what it would be like to date someone who was complete, instead of having me complete her........... whether or not it would work out.
     
  7. All you can do is let go. If you love someone and they're going through something like this, it's the only option. Rescuing and "fixing" aren't healthy nor useful things to do in this situation. She has to decide for herself and stand up for what she believes. As her boyfriend, it's not your place to live her life for her, even if you feel it's right.
     
  8. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

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    Your girlfriend has very low self esteem and is extremely immature. She sees friends as people to use, such as someone to "have fun with this summer". :rolleyes: She doesn't love herself so it is not possible for her to love anyone else, including you. Given the chance she would probably kiss another guy again. This girl has physical needs--she thirts for life experiences. You can do one of two things--support her or get the hell away from her. If you support her, be prepared to never be fully appreciated...be prepared to get your heart broken. I'd recommend getting as far away from her as possible because these type of people will self destruct and take down the people closest to them. It seems that she's already got you hooked though. She has you feeling sorry for her and taking her side even though she's the one that keeps disrespecting your relationship. 99% of the time, the issues you deal with in the beginning of a relationship will exist for the complete duration, varying in different ways and degrees of frustration. All things in life, especially relationships, need to start with a good "base." Your base is dangerously weak. It's your call though :dunno:
     
  9. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Your GF's friend sounds like one of these people who can't stand to see other people around them being happier or possibly having it better then her. So she has to put people down, and then kick them while they are down. Your GF needs to drop her and any other people in her life like this.

    Friends can be friends forever, but not in an attached at hip sort of way. Life takes us all on different paths, however our paths may cross again at some point and we can pick up where we left off....either for a short time, or long term, depending on what fate decides.

    I also think a part of the problem is she is young, and still has alot of learning and growing up to do....and we all are there at some point. She has to learn how to sort things out between a not so great family life, not so great friends, etc. She needs to learn how to hold her ground and decide to NOT let these people get to her. It's hard....being young and not quite out there in big bad world is a rough time.

    Be there for her, but don't get in the middle trying to fix things. Let her sort things out.
     
    Last edited: Jun 10, 2005
  10. PaZzEsCo

    PaZzEsCo New Member

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    I agree. You definitely need to show your girlfriend that her friend is not really a friend at all!!
     

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