My gf refuses to goto family functions with me

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by bobbarker70, Aug 19, 2006.

  1. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    I know this is silly, but I am very close with my dad and my sister and brother, and my uncles and aunts (all 5 of them) and grandfather and we frequently have family parties, etc etc. My gf puts little to no effort into going at all, even though my family is never rude to her. She will even sit at home and do nothing and will refuse to go, and wait for me to get home. I know it's not a huge deal but they're my family and weve been dating for a year now and i'm moving into her place and shes met my dad like 3 times and puts no effort into getting to know my family.

    Her father is gay, and ill agree to go on double dates with him and his partner for god sakes, and she cant compromise with me?

    Is there anything I can do about this? It really bothers me.
     
  2. tominos

    tominos New Member

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    have you explained to her that your family is important to you and she is important to you and you want the important people in your life to get along? maybe she's just uncomfortable around your family.
     
  3. arejay

    arejay mr. potato head

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    hmm...tough situation, but i'd say it probably wont ever change...
     
  4. SxyLambdaLady6

    SxyLambdaLady6 New Member

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    is she like scared to be around them? maybe nervous or uncomfortable? what is her reasoning for not wanting to go
     
  5. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    maybe its because her father lives an alternative life style. She is jealous or embarassed or worried that your family will not approve of her or her family and because yo uare so close with them maybe that will effect your relationship with her.
     
    Last edited: Aug 19, 2006
  6. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    This is really similar to my boyfriend and I. My family took it kind of hard when we first started dating because of the age difference, and they make a lot of jokes with him and stuff.. But that's just how my family is. You kind of have to experience them. We all live around each other and we're a big family, so there's a lot of stuff going on. We've been dating for three and a half years and he rarely ever comes to anything that involves my family with me. And when he does.. I hear about it afterward. I kind of gave up.. I'll invite him and be disappointed if he doesn't show up, but that's not going to ruin my good time. I don't always enjoy my family, but I can't just get rid of them. :dunno: I'm sorry, that isn't really advice.. Maybe your girlfriend will be more cooperative if you sit her down and talk to her about it. I hope that it works out for you.
     
  7. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    man, you have two things and two things only to consider here.

    one: she doesnt really give a big enough fuck about you and making you happy to go to them. if this is the case, dump.

    two: shes super insecure. if this is the case, dump.

    shes taking insecurity to an all new level and you dont want to have to deal with this chick because she has some serious issues
     
  8. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I'm not saying you're wrong...


    but you are very black and white when it comes to these things. It's either stay and fuck.....or dump and get a new bitch

    there's more that goes into things btw....not so cut and dry :hs:
     
  9. VulgarTheClown

    VulgarTheClown A child and a gun.....go together like apple pie a

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    I bet he is a virgin. did you read his thread about ife qualities cmon now.
     
  10. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    most of these things require work and effort and heart ache and head aches tho bro. Im just trying to simplify things for us younger gentlemen. its better to date lots of chicks at our age to know what we really want because there are tons of chicks out there and tons of bitches and tons of crazy bitches etc.
     
  11. OhFourTwoThree

    OhFourTwoThree New Member

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    Maybe I am just old fashioned but when a person loves you and is really into you, they are also naturally interested in your family and want to get to know them. My guess is 1. she isn't really into you and/or 2. she doesn't like your family for some reason. It could also be that she doesn't have strong family values...but I doubt that's the reason if you guys go on double dates with her dad.
     
  12. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Leave it alone. Who's dating this girl? You or your family?
     
  13. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    Sometimes things are "so cut and dry" though.


    For whatever reason this girl won't do things with his family, this is a clear-cut sign that things will not last.
     
  14. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    You are missing the point. This is for him, not his family.

    If she can't take time out of her couch-sitting schedule to go to a simple family event (that means a lot to him), then how is she going to act towards anything else that means a lot to him?
     
  15. lick wid nit wit

    lick wid nit wit Official OT Oracle

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    aybe there are other issues going on here. There could be something with his family she is not comfortable with but doesn't want to speak up about. Maybe they are of a certain religion she doesn't agree with but hasn't spoken up about.

    Maybe she simply is afraid that his family is going to react negatively about the fact her father is gay (assuming they don't know). Seeing as that the two family dynamics are so different, I can see why she's not comfortable not going to family gatherings. I am one of those people too. My family is dysfunctional as hell and I don't go to my OWN family gatherings. If an SO wanted me to go to his family's shindigs, I'd probably put up a fight.
     
  16. tominos

    tominos New Member

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  17. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    oh I'm kind of agreeing with both your and him(hence why I said I wasn't saying he was wrong)...I'm just not saying that the immediate answer is just ditch her. A lot of stuff do factor in there so its not just a flat out answer. Find out what the reason is, it could be an issue that could be sorted out if she really matter to him and vice versa.

    but if she is just being downright selfish....then Id most definately agree 100%. That's a big problem.

    ***
    I just noticing that with Atom...his answers are always black and white on every subject...not much else factors in....was just pointing that out :hs:
     
  18. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    I think alot of answers should be black and white, over analyzing is what gets ya into trouble. But in this situation if she never wants to go and make you happy, find a new chick because there are plenty of girls out there who would go with you to the family functions.
     
  19. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    I would kind of agree to that....but I personally like analyzing things to their fullest. It's my defense for not choosing the wrong thing and fucking myself over. This goes for any situation....and sofar it's worked for me. Always make sure I make the right decision and have never regretted anything that I've done before...etc.

    sofar it's worked for me atleast :dunno:



    over analyzing things does give you some headaches sometimes :hs:
     
  20. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Well what exactly was it like when she did go with you? Was she the only non-family member there? Did you guys spend the whole time talking about people or things she knows nothing about? Did your family seem interested in her and ask her questions about her life? They don't have to be rude to make her feel out of place, not wanted or just bored out of her mind. When some of my family gets together all they do is :mb: about all these people they used to know. I get bored after 2 minutes and I'd never drag a bf there and make him sit through that. I think she should hang out with them for holidays and birthdays but other than that, if she doesn't want to go then don't worry about it. You may be close with your family but that doesn't mean she has to be. She may just not have that much in common with them or enjoy spending time with them. It's good not to spend all your time together anyway and at least she's not trying to keep you away from them.
     
  21. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    She is dating HIM, not his FAMILY. If she is cool with not going, why force her?

    Maybe she has self-esteem issues, who knows? My point is that it comes down to who is more important? The significant other or the family.

    I think it would be different if they were married/had children, yadda yadda.
     
  22. Guardfather

    Guardfather The Paradox

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    Agreed.
     
  23. DSAzeppelin

    DSAzeppelin New Member

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    kind of contradicting yourself. His family means a lot to him, so having her goto his family functions with him is a big deal and he would appreciate it.

    Yes...she is dating HIM...and if she cared about HIM...then she would tag a long because it's so important to him.

    He doesn't want her to go for his family's sake...it's for himself.
     
  24. Solus Emsu

    Solus Emsu ****** U N R A T E D ! ****** -----THAT'S HOW I RO

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    :werd:



    Exactly.
     
  25. :smile:

    :smile: New Member

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    i've been with my bf almost 2 years. His family is very nice to me, they invite me to dinner or block parties. i enjoy it but i still get that nervous feeling sometimes. i want them to like me but at the same time i don't want to be there because i don't want them to not like me<-- me being insecure. my bf doesn't come to many of my family things either, but like someone else said, i don't let it ruin my time even if it's boring
     

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