my gf is bulimic

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by craigl33, May 13, 2007.

  1. craigl33

    craigl33 New Member

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    not sure if this is the right place to post this, but my girlfriend is bulimic and it really worries me. she eats a tiny meal and throws it up right after. she says she's just really full, which is BS. she's thrown up like every day for the past 2 weeks and whenever i bring it up she always says something like i'm mean to her about it. how do i get her to stop? how do i get her to LISTEN.
     
  2. Jimeigh

    Jimeigh Every rook and jay in the corvidae have been raven

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    step 1. tell her parents, because they deserve to know
     
  3. autobahn

    autobahn New Member

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    get her professional help. soon.
     
  4. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    This is nothing you're going to solve by yourself. You need to alert her family, and work together to get her into a treatment center/program.
     
  5. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    is this something you wanna deal with for the rest of your life? it isnt just going to go away.



    how old is she? what is her living situation?
     
  6. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    I was bullimic for a long time, and it's true, your stomach shrinks to a size where you can drink a glass of water and feel like you are so full you will vomit.

    That being said, from someone who has been there, literally... there is nothing you can say to her that will change her mind, especially because you are her SO. The best you can do it get someone who has a closer relationship with her to step in (parents, siblings, counselor) or tell her that you don't want to keep seeing her if she continues a destructive behavior. So, leave it alone, or give an ultamatim, or just try to be there for her. Keep bringing it up with no resolution and you will have a bigger problem on your hands...

    I wouldn't hear anyone talking to me about it, I would get immediately angry and be bitchy. "You don't know what you're talking about!", stuff like that.

    Good luck... tough situation. It's an addiction, and breaking addictions are insanely hard. You might try posting in "recovery" too.

    DA
     
  7. jesskasubercool

    jesskasubercool Jesska.

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    listen to this. very true. i was anorexic. which is pretty much the same thing, at least same mental state. just i wasn't fucking up my throat and what not. but if you keep telling her, she'll just get angry with you and it will solve nothing. she has this idea in her head that, that is the only way. you should probably tell her parents. or yes, give her an ultimatum. and help her through it.
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    interesting, cause one of the main ways bulimics die is from their stomach errupting and going septic....due to the stretching and needing more and more to feel full. not shrinking.
     
  9. Cymric

    Cymric New Member

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    Don't be forceful

    When dealing with bulemia or anorexia, it is best not to be forceful, and for god's sake don't run to her parents unless you want to lose all the trust that she has in you.

    It's also best not to follow the advice of threatening to break up with her if she continues the destructive behavior unless you really just want to do nothing to help her...that would definitely just throw her into hyperdrive with the mindset that she isn't good enough as soon as the onslaught of mental images of her "grotesque" body starts to dominate her mind even moreso than it already did--all that caused by the abandonment she feels from your leaving her.

    Unfortunately, this is not an issue that is very well addressed by most guys, because guys do not (as often) go through the motions of feeling inadequate to the point of self destruction in terms of their bodies. That is not to say guys don't ever tend to have horrible body images -- as I do myself and I know I'm not near the only one.

    At any rate, if you really want to help, you need to do a bit of research. I would advise getting both ends of the spectrum here. Not only go to the sites that tell you about how bad it is on your body, (and prolonged or even short term bulemia or anorexia can take a serious toll depending on the body composition when the behavior is started), but also check out the sites that are "pro ana" or pro-bulemic. I'm not saying go there and buy into it, as most of it is just a desperate cry for help and a lot of "stay strong, girl" quotes...empty support for empty feelings. But you need to get on the inside of her mind and understand the workings of how a bad body image can affect someone. The best way is to just be completely open and sensitive and non judgemental, and tell her that you know she is bulemic and it is cool with you. Forgive her for what she is doing, because honestly, it is a disease of the mind that she cannot help, and it will take tons of support to get her through it. If you are willing and you love her, you definitely have the power to change her mindset, or at least get the ball rolling.
    Good luck.
     
  10. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    Oh that's because most bulemics binge like it will save their life... I actually was anorexic/bulemic so I don't have a lot of experience with binge/bulemics:( Yes, it would be quite horrible to have that happen...

    DA
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Listen to all the other posts in this thread EXCEPT for this one (although the bolded part is right). This post is rediculous.

    I had an anorexic gf, and you have to treat this like a drug addiction and not just some problem that you can handle on your own. She basically needs an intervention from all those who care about her to help open her eyes. Taking this on by yourself by 'researching' then 'forgiving' her is sooo stupid, and will not end well.
     
  12. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    intervention is a bad idea :o


    seriously, need it know if shes over/under 18.
     
  13. DarkAngel19

    DarkAngel19 New Member

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    I totally agree, the correct response to your question completely depends on whether she is a minor still.

    Let us know!

    DA
     
  14. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    yea jus get her some help
     
  15. Omerta6

    Omerta6 New Member

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    My gf is bulimic to, good luck man. Its hard a hell, and tends to make her irradic and impulsive. Not great for relationships....
     
  16. Cymric

    Cymric New Member

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    Of course, you can always look to people who can't spell and haven't been through anything like this. :ugh2:
     
  17. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    This obviously is an issue best left for the women to discuss. And my apologies for spelling one word wrong - (incase anyone couldn't understand what "rediculous" meant, I meant to type "ridiculous", sorry for any trouble this may have caused :noes: ). But how is me being a guy who had to go through this with an anorexic gf considered not going through anything like this compared to you, another guy?

    In my experience, me trying to do something for her just resulted in her getting angrier and more depressed and having more issues about her body. It was through the help of her family and close friends that got her over it, then I ran for the hills.
     
  18. Cymric

    Cymric New Member

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    If this is what he's wanting to do, I don't know why he'd ask for help in the first place, but alright.
     
  19. craigl33

    craigl33 New Member

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    she's 19, i'm 21
     
  20. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    I would imagine that would be more for those who have huge binges and are bulimic. DarkAngel, and the OP's gf seem to be kind of anorexic style bulimics...not eating a whole bunch and throwing it up, as some bulimics do.
     
  21. notsousual

    notsousual New Member

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    http://webster.com/dictionary/bulemia
     
  22. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    who does she live with. in school?


    any fitday/journal/proana sites? alcoholics dont hang out in bars. she either wants to stop, or doesnt. not much you can do if she doesnt.


    telling her parents is a bad move, unless shes really fucking cool with them.
     
  23. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Same reason I did maybe... He's not an asshole. I didn't want to make it worse, I wanted her to get better. But she was a psycho (even if you don't count the anorexia) and I wanted out. But I wanted to make sure she was getting the help she needed before I split. Why kick someone when they are down?
     
  24. erobbins

    erobbins Active Member

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    if she doesn't want to stop, she won't :dunno:

    if she does, then support her, don't get pissed if she screws up.. it's not an instant process, it's an addiction. there will be setbacks :hs: just make sure she knows she can be honest with you because if she starts hiding it then you're screwed.
     
  25. BitchThatEatsOnions

    BitchThatEatsOnions New Member

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    at least she isnt fat
     

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