my gf cheated, what do I do?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by jct_4628, Jan 16, 2005.

  1. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    Hey, just looking for some advice here.....a few weeks ago my gf went to a party and ended up cheating on me with another guy. Suposidly she fucked him twice, but she cant remember most of the night so who knows. Then she lied to me about who it was (even though I cld tell cuz of how she acted around him) and now continues to go over there at least 4 or 5 times a week. She goes to parties with him all the time, and gets drunk all the time. She even fucking sleeps over there WITH HIM in his bed....claiming they only "cuddle" and thats it. Well, isnt cuddling still bad enough?

    About us: we have been together for 5 years....we live together and she has 2 cats (she got them both, so their hers) Neither of us can afford to live on our own.

    She doesnt want to lose me cuz we have been together for so long. But she loves the fact that he gives her more cuddles and affection than I do. She also wants to start "seeing other people but remain together" kinda thing.

    Sorry this got so long. Any help/advice on what to do, or should I just end it??
     
  2. -=Likwid=-

    -=Likwid=-

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    if i were in your shoes, i'd finish it. she obviously has no guilt or remorse as she still associates with him. don't stay together for the money, it's not worth the heartbreak.
     
  3. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    thats the one problem. She claims she has remorse and shows it, and really really "wants to stay with me" but then she goes right back to this guy and hangs out with him all the time. I told her she has to choose....just FRIENDS with him, which means no touching of sorts, and no sleeping there and shit, or she can lose me and have him. She says she wants to keep me, but then she fucking goes right over there and friday night spent the night there. She claims she slept on the couch though...I dont know
     
  4. -=Likwid=-

    -=Likwid=-

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    thats exactly it. she says she has remorse, but doesn't show it.

    i don't know, to me its a black and white issue. she betrayed your trust, is continuing to betray your trust, and is really just not showing any consideration for you at all.
     
  5. Bella

    Bella New Member

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    Where do you want me baby?!
    End it now! Why are you allowing her to sleep and cuddleing over there? I would be raising hell if my SO said that another person gives more affection than me, and is doing this in front of my face. I'd end it Sorry :(
     
  6. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    You're still with her because....?

    Get out now.
     
  7. fearfactory

    fearfactory New Member

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    my god man... your "girlfriend" is going over to some other guy's house 4-5 times a week. holy shit that's laughable.
     
  8. c-f0o

    c-f0o New Member

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    dude, shes using you. just end it, theres other fish in the sea,

    or drop down to her level, cheat, and give her a piece of her own medicane (use her excuses)
     
  9. fearfactory

    fearfactory New Member

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    don't cheat on her man. be the bigger person and disassociate yourself.
     
  10. chlywly

    chlywly Active Member

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    LMAO this is a joke right? wow, what do you do? Hmm let me think, do I need to bitch slap you? Because you're acting like a "little BITCH" break the fuck up and be a man... they only cuddle? WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU.

    Go get yourself a "lady", and leave the whore.
     
  11. Helldweller

    Helldweller I can feel the envy in you

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    Man you're an idiot. Why even give her a decision of staying with you or him? If she loved you enough there wouldn't even be an issue. Fuck the skank.
     
  12. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    ok, thanks for all the advice...its all in the form of "dump her" which is what I thought I would get. Here is my problem. We have been together for 5 years, so thats alot to throw away. I WANT to believe they have only fucked once, because she usually tells me everything like that. Since we have been together for 5 years, and since im not the most attractive crayon in the box, I'm really scared of being alone. I know that probalby sounds pussy to all of you, but I have no idea how to pick up chicks. Either for just a quick fuck or a relationship. Plus, its been 5 years, so its really hard to just dump her. But I guess if 100% of you think dump her its probably the right thing to do......

    there is another problem though.....she is suicidal. So this is a really big hinge. I have been putting up with it for probly 4 of the 5 years and have learned to deal with it. Its way worse lately though cuz of the stress of this situation. I believe if I were to break up with her she might kill herself. So god that sucks, but one reason I wouldnt want to do it is cuz I dont want her to kill herself, but I guess I shoudnt stay in a relationship for that reason
     
  13. Helldweller

    Helldweller I can feel the envy in you

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    No, you shouldn't stay in the relationship for that reason, I've dealt with a suicidal ex, and to this day she still has issues, and her current boyfriend is far less caring about it than I was, and in the end, she fucked me over, even aftr I catered to her every need. Everyone deserves some of your self sacrifice, but this woman does not, be selfish. Being selfish is what is best for you. Hell, she was being selfish towards your feelings now wasn't she? Did she think very much before she went and cheated on you? Hell no, she chose her own desires over your feelings. Pack up your shit and leave her with the loser she left you for, and when he dumps her ass and is crawling back to you tell her to fuck the hell off.
     
  14. whitemike1644

    whitemike1644 New Member

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    ok i was in a relationship with a girl for 4 years and we lived together, its not the same exact situation that you are in but heres my opinion.

    you got two options .

    1. either go do your own thing just start talking to other people belive me when you are in a relationship you are blind to most of the females that come around you tht are datable, you sound like how i was because you feel like you have spent so much time there you don't want to just throw it all away but you gotta realize that she is the one initiating it not you so your not to blame for all this, unless you want to look at it in the way that you did not do all you could have, judging from where she says that he cuddles and stuff more than you do, but even then you can't look at it that way because if you don't like doing that sort of thig alot than its not your fault.

    2. dump her and let his ass deal with the problem, she thinks he is so wonderful to the point where she is over there all the time, and sorry to break it to ya but they fuck alot more than you wanna realize, anything she does with you i can gaurantee that she is doing it with him. the way i look at it is that if she wants to be with you than be with you if she tinks she can find better than let her go find better, but when this guys doesn't want to deal with her anymore guess who she is going to come running back to.

    you sound like a honest guy that is scared to be alone thats like 90% of the population its just a matter of how you handle the situation. i say just do what you want to do in the long run but just don't put your self out try to make sure whatever it is you are doing or decied to do at the end of the day you can go look at your self in the mirror and not be disgusted at your self.

    i was in that 4 year relationshit! and i stayed for longer than i should have because i just thought i could not do better and didn't want to throw that time away. and she actually made out with a guy while we were together. other things came into play but i eventually left her because i just wasn't happy with my self and i was lying to myself about the person i was becomming. and i found someone else that treats me better than the last.

    but just remember that no matter what there are always going to be problems it jsut depends on what kind of problems and if they are ignorable. also th next girl you find no matter what is always going to be better than the last, and she might not do things that your ex might do, but bottom line ALWAYS ALWAYS remember why you two aren't together to begin with.

    hope that helps :)
     
  15. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    end this shit now :hsd:
     
  16. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    god damn, its really hard to end a 5 year relationship....this sucks ass...this is the hardest decision I have ever had to make in my life. fuck fuckedy fuck fuck
     
  17. RichieZero

    RichieZero All I got in this world, is my balls, and my word. OT Supporter

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    Tell her to GTFO. None of this "I wana fuck other guys but have you pay half my bills" horseshit. If she's sucidal, then let her newfound fuckbuddy deal with it.
     
  18. shangrilarcadia

    shangrilarcadia A lady

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    You need to leave her. She is using you and betraying you and you are letting her get away with it. Cheating on you even once is in my humble oppinion reason enough to end the relationship. When someone cheats, it not only creates more problems in a relationship, but it exposes even more fundamental ones that are already there. And she knows how much it bothers you and how wrong it was for her to cheat and then still sees this guy (and spend the night at his house :eek3: ) regularly? She clearly has no respect for you, no loyalty to you, and as far as I am concerned does not love you. If you decide to stay, the relationship will only go downhill from here.

    As far as your reasons to stay: you say you want to stay because 1. money 2. you feel responsible for her happiness to prevent her from commiting suicide 3. you are afraid to be alone. You might have good intentions, but these are all terrible reasons. Money should never be a reason to be with someone. It's messy to have a breakup that involves moving out, but in this case it has to happen. If you really can't afford to live on your own, you can get a roomate from somewhere like craigslist, or you could even move in with your parents until you get back on your feet if that is the only option. As far as her being suicidal, you really shouldn't make that a reason to stay with her. If you are in a relationship, yes, you should do everything you can to make that person happy. But you should not be solely resonsible for her happiness. She has serious issues that you didn't cause and that aren't going to dissapear and just because you have learned to put up with them doesn't mean that you should feel like you are personally responsible solving them. Holding that feeling of guilt and responsibility over your head is only going to bring you down and ruin your life... And as far as the fear and lonliness goes: there are other women out there. Women who won't use you and hurt you. The only way you are ever going to find one is by taking risks. You might have some heartbreak leaving this girl and being alone for awhile, but in the end it will be worth it, because there is someone for everyone and another girl will come along who actually makes you happier then you could have ever imagined.

    And you say that you expected for everyone to say dump her. I think this is for two reasons: the first is that 'ditch her' is a common attitude on ot no matter what the situation, the second is that even though you are beating yourself up about it, you probably know deep down that this situation is not acceptable and just need some reinforcement to feel better about the situation... Trust me, I always look for the positive side of a situation and the good in people, and I don't always tell people to give up. But I see no upside of this situation for you. You really do need to get out of this situation that is only dragging you down.
     
  19. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

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    what a fucking bitch, kick her ass out immediately and get another roommate. she will never change, she will realize what shes doing is wrong and for a a week or 2 she will be different but it will wear off again and she'll be back in the sack with this guy. no good can come from remaining in this relationship, h ave some dignity and stand up for yourself.
     
  20. two30v

    two30v New Member

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    :ughwerd: Dump her and tell her to :gtfo2:
     
  21. Drowned

    Drowned NameThatPornstar.com

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    You're still thinking about this? You had to ASK what to do? What is wrong with you... do you have any dignity?
     
  22. Penny1484

    Penny1484 cute but kind of evil

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    are you fucking blind?? she obviously likes him and is getting with him. break up!!!!!
     
  23. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    someone do it for me...hehe
     
  24. outlaw911

    outlaw911 Guest

    i look at like this man .if she wants to atart seeing other people u should too, but bring them home when shes there and have her sleep with u both. and see how she likeit .then when she starts bicthing tell her to leave cuz it waz her idea to see other people or u can do wat i did sleep with her sister if she has one . it uaslly pisses them off too.
     
  25. jct_4628

    jct_4628 New Member

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    no sister, but she has a cute best friend that I would sleep with...and her slutty friend (who is ugly) has a killer roomate that I would bone bone bone bone bone.....too bad they are both dirty (herpes and shit)
     

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