My G/F Does Not Want To Orgasm

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by hypernikes, Jan 10, 2007.

  1. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    My current g/f does not want to orgasm, ever. I've tried to get an explanaton out of her that I could understand but even after having a few conversations about it I still don't understand why she doesn't want to cum.

    Whenever we get hot and heavy, she stops me before she reaches orgasm. I'm sure most guys wouldn't care but it really bothers me.

    Best I can recall from my conversation with her, she has a "control issue". She stated that she doesn't want to let go of control (or maybe didn't want to lose control) and she would have to lose control to have an orgasm.

    I don't know about you but that just confused the fuck out of me. Does anyone understand what she's trying to say?

    We have sex pretty frequently regardless of that fact and she says she still has lots of fun so I don't get it. I mean if a guy friend of mine told me that he doesn't ever want to cum while having sex, I'd give him crazy eyes. That's like fucking blue balls torture for a guy.

    Any OT girls like this or anyone had a girlfriend that felt the same way? I just want to tie her up one day and force one out of her. :noes:
     
  2. BadRotation

    BadRotation New Member

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    Is she a squirter, and scared of being embarrassed from squirting?
     
  3. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    I've given that some thought too. Everything we talked about it I would always ask if she was sure that it wasn't because of something else. I think I have a lot of her trust so I believe she would tell me if it was something like that.
     
  4. HuskiRuski

    HuskiRuski Cardinal Fan

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    she's got control issues that could stem from something like getting abused as a child or a bad experience with a prior boyfriend.
     
  5. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    Yeah... I considered that too but I asked her if she was ever abused and she said no.
     
    Last edited: Jan 11, 2007
  6. TomBrady

    TomBrady New Member

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    ive seen this in a documetary..she wants total control therefore having control during intercourse..she may start crying once she climaxes..i feel bad for u buddy..lets all pray that shes a squirter
     
  7. its a guy thing

    its a guy thing New Member

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    Do it!!!

    Although she may go crazy after being tied up and not be able to have an orgasm.
     
  8. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    About a year... we've started to get pretty serious and intimate for about half year now.
     
  9. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the question is:

    is this something you are willing to accept going forward?

    assume she doesn't change. will you be happy in the relationship with a woman who refuses to climax?
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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  11. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    I think it's something that I can eventually accept. It seems to be her choice after all.
     
  12. fray

    fray New Member

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    If she isn't bothered by it, why are you? Do you feel like you aren't doing your job? Maybe she can't and that's just her way of letting you know. Has she orgasmed before? Are you sure that what you're doing is leading her toward orgasm and isn't just kind of too much, or annoying?
     
  13. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Buy her a vibe.
     
  14. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    only time ive said something similar was when the guy was doing it so wrong it just hurt, and i just wanted him to stop.
     
  15. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Hell YES
     
  16. copperkali

    copperkali Mrs. Nicklk

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    Maybe she just isn't comfortable with you yet. You really have to let yourself become vulnerable to orgasm, maybe she isn't ready for that :dunno:
     
  17. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    I would feel more sexually satisfied if she had an orgasm as well. I think nowadays I'm more bothered by the fact that I don't understand why she doesn't want to climax. She stated to me that she never orgasmed before.

    She stops me often before she is supposedly about to climax. I don't think I'm doing anything wrong or hurting her. There's been a couple of instances where I would ask her to slow down because I might cum too soon but she just says "but it feels so good" and keeps going :naughty: (yet she's able to stop herself when it comes time to for own climax :ugh:).
     
    Last edited: Jan 10, 2007
  18. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Hmm, I'm a control freak, but I in no way want to prevent orgasms. This sounds chock-full of insecurity for some reason. It's really nice that you actually care for her in the situation, but I am really shocked that you say you've almost been together a year and she still doesn't feel comfortable just letting go with you. I mean this would make sense to me if it was a few months.

    I honestly don't know what to tell you though. I know you've tried talking to her, unfortunately the only way I see it getting resolved is if you really just make her explain and not stop bugging her til you get more of an explanation, otherwise it's going to irritate you and cause probems in the bedroom I'm sure.

    Also, I'll throw this out because it could be a huge possibility. For a few years after having sex I could count orgasms I'd had on one hand (one reason I wish I had waited because young guys dont know what the fuck they are doing). And when I finally started having pretty frequent ones the feeling was so overwhelming and I was so new to it that I almost got scared to have one.
     
  19. Two toys

    Two toys New Member

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    some girls get that peeing feeling when they are about to orgasm and therefor stop, could this be her issue?

    honestly I'd be just as frustrated as you and I'm not gonna lie I'd probably leave her. It wouldnt work I'd constantly be unhappy. To me the bedroom is where both people can be completely vulnerable and be not only physically but emotionally naked. and if she wasnt willing to even orgasm i'd wonder what I really meant to her i'd probably constntly be questioning us and the relationship.
     
  20. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    She has two! Sometimes she can only use the clit vibe for about 30 seconds before she "has to stop".
     
  21. hypernikes

    hypernikes New Member

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    That was one of my theories as well... maybe she afraid she'll pee if she orgasms??? I plan to ask her that later if all else fails.

    I'm a perv so when we're actually having sex, I don't let it bother me all too much but the guilt hits a few minutes after my own orgasm.
     
  22. sparq

    sparq New Member

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    Im going to answer for him, because I was with someone who did this.

    IT FUCKING SUCKS...
     
  23. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't really orgasm and i still enjoy sex. So, if she doesn't want it, I wouldn't feel guilty about it if i were you. Granted, given the choice, I would rather orgasm, but who knows what's up with her.

    I would be kinda bothered by the fact that she won't stop or slow down if you ask her too. Sometimes. Okay. Never? That's kinda rude.
     
  24. eighteen_psi

    eighteen_psi Active Member

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    1) Talk about it again, let her know you understand and you respect her limits but you're there to help make the experience enjoyable when she's ready.
    2) Tie her up...get her spectacularly close but put on the brakes....several times...maybe many.
    3) Talk about it again :naughty:
     
  25. sportsjunkie

    sportsjunkie OT Supporter

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    are you sure she isn't lying to you and maybe she just can't orgasm :dunno:

    either way, it's odd that she wouldn't want to "let go" and just orgasm
     

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