SRS My friends life is going down the drain

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by 88, Jul 8, 2006.

  1. 88

    88 New Member

    Apr 17, 2004
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    I've come here only because I can't think of anything else to do and after 2.5 years I've just had it. Basically my best friend has been out of school for 2.5 years and has two jobs in the time which lasted about 1 month each. When he turned 18 he recieved in the ball park of $75,000 from his dead mothers insurance pay out (she died when he was little) he now has $44,000 of it and can only show a $17,000 car for it the rest of his money has been spent doing stupid crap and giving it to his dad.

    Where do I start? Like I said he has been out of school for the 2.5 years because he was completely incapaditble with it as soon as he left he did nothing for the whole next year ie. he sat at home playing computer. The next year he got a shit house job which lasted all of 1 month he stopped working because the job was "boring" so he says. After that he started a community college course from home which didn't even lift off and then spent the remainder of the year doing fuck all - he got his licence around the end of last year and was given a $3800 car which was way more than he should have payed for it. Around this time I knew he was starting to fuck up his life so I started encouraging him to start a community college course or get a job - he chose the latter. He then held that job at a supermarket for about 1 month until co workers complained he was too slow at the job, he quit as he thought he was close to getting fired.

    Around this time he got his fund he straight away bought a Van which cost him $13,000 hoping to get a night job as a courier this fell thru (he also bought the van because he is EXTREMELY sentimental - memory's of his days with his dad and mum) He then sold the van for $8500 as the job fell through(suprise!) He then went and brought a $17,000 near new car which he has owned for about the past month he has finally signed up for a community college course after much encourgement and persuasion from me but now wants to put this into 'Part-time' and get a job (he is making a genuine attempt to fix his life) If he puts it to part time he won't do it, this guy has no self disipline, no self esteem.

    I have also encouraged him to get a Pizza delievery job to hold at night times and show a long working period he has applied for this. But now I'm at the end he wants to sell the 17K car and get something 'cheaper' he will lose 3k if he sells it wrong, which he will - he also has not patience, I'm at the final straw I really no longer want to be his friend anymore - I'm almost the complete oppisite to him. Is there anything I can do to help him? I think I have done my best..

    Thanks :hs:
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Oct 8, 2002
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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Make him stand on his own legs, the popular saying of my mother goes like this ' he who doesn't want to listen , must feel'

    And oh gosh , i know a situation just like this. There's this guy called mad gerrit, and he has a friend who supports him, it was even worse then what you described. The friend gave him COUNTLESS advice, do your life like this, do that do sus do so , if you do that then you improve your life like this. NADA, i adviced this guys friend to give up his friendship with this insane person. I think he refused and is still friends with him. Well the insane guy went with an insane girl and they ended up with an abortion because they screwed around and without having a future of any sorts their parents refused to let them have a baby. His stupidity led to the death of a child..... need i say more?

    Take my advice and drop your friend like a brick. People with a skull as thick as him need to hit their heads rock bottom before they realise their own stupidity. Its useless to give advice to deaf minded people.

    You know most people here come because they are in a pickle and are 'willing' to change themselves. Your friend is nuts :down: end of story.
    That guy came to me complaining that this mad gerrit was being an insane idiot refusing to listen to his advice, this resulted into multiple days of continues nagging in my ear , so i said 'why are you still with this guy?'

    Probably still with him because of childhood memories, and can't envision a life without him. Discard this guy, you know why? If he falls onto his own face then he will be forced to take action to improve his life himself. What you are doing is only holding a hand above his head, making him effectivly blind to see his own stupidity because he isn't getting bitch slapped by hitting rock bottom because you are protecting him from that. Let him fall, so he may experience the full blow of consequenses of his stupidity, if he then comes to you for advice say' find out for yourself ' this forces him again to 'think for himself'.

    Look, i know you care for your friend , but what you are doing isn't right for him, you can't keep on 'thinking' for other people, everyone has to lead his/her own life. And its nice if we help people out, but if your efforts and advice are going to waste, then you must be the better man by saying 'STOP, to here and no further'.

    Sometimes the best advice to help people out, is to tell them to help themselves. Everyone in the end has to be able to stand on their own legs, learn from their own faults. If you look closer you will see that you have been his legs, and have tried to prevent his faults. You did this out of concern and because you are 'truelly' to be considered as a friend , but please understand that your NOT helping him any way with this.
  3. big 1

    big 1 New Member

    Jan 14, 2006
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    It seems to me that the guy is not taking much action to change because he has a MUCH larger financial nest egg than most people. I have a feeling that once he spends all of his money, he'll make more of an effort to do something with his life. unforutanately for now youre stuck in this pattern.

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