SRS My friend is pissed and I don't know why

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by verdiocchi, Sep 7, 2007.

  1. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Backstory: My best friend and I have known each other for about 12 years. We went to middle school and high school together, stayed close through college even though I left the state, and have seen each other as often as possible now that I have moved back to our home state and we currently live about an hour and half apart. I live in Tampa, she's in Orlando. For reference because it comes up later, my brother lives in Alabama and his best friend lives in Orlando. The four of us have always been very close since we're all about the same age.

    Two weeks ago I had plans to drive to Orlando and visit since my brother would be in town. He was flying into Orlando so the four of us could hang out over the weekend. I also invited down two other friends of ours from Gainesville (2 hours from Orlando). I couldn't leave Tampa until Saturday afternoon because i had to work Saturday morning but I made plans to meet up with them early evening. My brother's best friend works in a bar there so we were going to go and hang out there (he had to work that night so we'd get free drinks).

    Well my best friend calls me when I'm almost there and says she's at Disney with my brother and his girlfriend and wants to leave so could I turn around and come pick her up. I told her that I was already way past Disney and the other two people from Gainesville were waiting for me to come pick them up. She then tells me that I should come get her because she wants to meet up with her roommate and go to a pub crawl that night. I'm like, "WTF? We had plans to go to X bar together as a group!" She says she's dead set on going to this pub crawl and thinks I should come back, pick her up, take her home and then go do other things while she hangs out with her roommate. I said it was too out of the way and she can have her roommate come pick her up since they would be hanging out that night. The other two friends didn't know their way around Orlando and they had been waiting for me to come meet them so I wanted to get to them quickly. She finally says, "Ok don't worry about. I'll talk to you later."

    I went out with the other friends that night and she went on her pub crawl. I wrote her a message the following Monday saying I was bummed we didn't get to hang out but I hope she had fun. No response. I called her the next day. No answer, no call back. I've tried to call her a few more times the past two weeks and she hasn't gotten back to me. I sent her another message yesterday telling her I hope she's ok and if she's mad at me for something I hope she decides to just talk to me about it. No response and I know she read it.

    Everyone else thinks I should be mad at her for blowing us off since I drove all the way there to see her, but I understand that things come up and I can see her another time. But now apparently she's pissed at me? I don't get it.

    What should I do now?
     
  2. ///M Pilot

    ///M Pilot New Member

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    Let her get over it.

    Seems pretty damn petty and selfish to me.
     
  3. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    She's going to fume about it (like she is now, obviously) and she should get over it. If she doesn't get over it, she's not worth the trouble, especially if she couldn't get passed this.

    Wait for a few weeks, call her and see if she picks up. If not, then whenever you go back down there, hope that you'll bump into her so you two could talk.
     
  4. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Honestly I'm getting pissed about this now. We've been friends for so long and now she's mad at me because I wouldn't do her a favor that was ridiculous for her ask in the first place? Lame.
     
  5. registeredPORK

    registeredPORK Happy Poo Poo

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    Don't get mad over it. It'll just make things a lot worse. Wait a few weeks, call her up to see if she answers and then talk to her about it. If you get pissed off about it and call her and start screaming at her (putting it a bit out of context but, meh), then she'll just be a lot more mad at you.

    And yes, it was very ridiculous of her to do that.
     
  6. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    I'm not the type to call and scream at anyone. If I get angry, I would just wait for her to get a hold of me and then when she finally does, let her know that I don't think she needed to act that way and I was annoyed by it.
     
  7. QueenOfHearts

    QueenOfHearts New Member

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    Just let her fester in her own problems.
    It sounds like the whole situation was selfish of her anyways.

    She'll probably realize that she'll need another favor from you in the future and magically come back apologizing.
    Kudos to you for not letting a friend walk all over you.
     
  8. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    I don't think it's because you didn't go pick her up. It looks to me like she's butt hurt because she realized she's not the center of your universe, and instead of acknowledging her conceited thoughts she's trying to pass the blame to you.

    By any chance is there a history of you bending to her wills?
     
  9. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Not really, we're pretty equal when it comes to doing things for each other and making plans. She's definitely the more selfish between the two of us, but I'm not the type to let people treat me badly so it usually works out fine. In the 12ish years we've been best friends, we've only fought about 3 times to this extent.
     
  10. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Update: She called me last night while I was eating dinner with my boyfriend and his family so I wasn't able to answer. I'm going to send her a message today telling her why I didn't answer and that she can call me tonight if she wants because I should be free. I'm not going to try to call her again.
     
  11. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    What was the plan for meeting up? Did you set any arrangements with her regarding picking her up or otherwise meeting up with her when you got into town, or was it just a casual "I'll call you when I get there" kind of thing? Did she know about these other people you were meeting up with?

    It sounds like you guys had mismatched expectations of how the evening/weekend was going to go. If she thought she was your priority and didn't know about these other people you met with, I can see why she'd be butthurt over it, although I agree with other posters in that it sounds like she took it farther than necessary. Either way, you already know that you have to talk to her to sort it out.
     
  12. verdiocchi

    verdiocchi Oh snap!

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    Originally she was supposed to get Disney tickets for the whole group because she works there. But she was mistaken about how many she could get and didn't find out until that afternoon. So she didn't have enough for my boyfriend, me or the other two friends that had come down from Gainesville. Since I wouldn't be getting there until late afternoon I didn't want to pay for Disney tickets to go for a few hours. I told her I'd just hang out with my bf and the other two people until they were done at Disney then we'd all go to dinner/drinks. She said ok. Then she called me a few hours later to see if I would drive to Disney to get her and take her home so she could go out with her roommate. I had no plans to pick her up at any point. She was supposed to hang out at Disney with my brother and his girlfriend until that evening and then all of them were to leave together and go back to her apartment then call us for dinner. She knows the other people that came down to meet up with us, we went to high school with them and we're all really good friends.

    Even if seeing her was my priority, she shouldn't be mad that I didn't want to turn around and go really far out of my way to pick her up and drive her to her apartment so that she could go hang out with other people.

    Just to update everyone, I sent her a message Monday morning after I missed a call from her Sunday night. I let her know that I missed her call because I was in the middle of dinner but she could call me back that night. Haven't heard from her.
     

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