My first serious relationship just ended

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by seefu, Feb 7, 2007.

  1. seefu

    seefu Camel Toe!!

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    I'm feeling so down..
    I know she's online and stuff but she has me blocked
    Worst way to get broken up with too ... on MSN

    the worst thing is i realised how much she's changed me... what i felt for her is what i considered 'true love' and to have that taken away from me so suddenly makes me feel like i'll never feel the same way because it will mean risking feeling this way again.

    Right now i just want her to unblock me so that i can talk to her cos i still care for her and want to know how she's doing. :wtc:
     
  2. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    Go on vacation, go out with your friends as much as possible, etc... You'll get over it sooner than you think if you are proactive.
     
  3. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Get rid of all the things that remind you of her. Get her off your MSN list, etc. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, and start meeting new women ASAP.
     
  4. deznutz

    deznutz New Member

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    You'll get over it.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Check it out, this is the 100% truth and I have personally witnessed this in action several times, including myself:

    If you want her back, your only hope is to ignore her completely.

    If you want to drive her away further and end any chance with her, then continue to contact her and chase her and profess your love.

    Right now she is ignoring you, but I bet at some point if you don't try to contact her, she will get curious about what you are doing and she will look you up. You have to refuse to talk to her unless its about an issue from your relationship (like she has some of your stuff to return).

    If you chase her at all during this time, you will 100% end any chance with her. Guaranteed. Its a huge deal for a woman to break up with a guy - most of the time they expect the man to do the dumping.

    Because of this, she now has all the power (you want her more than she wants you). The only way to get her back is to flip this around by ignoring her at a higher level than she is ignoring you. And the quicker you can pull your shit together and man up, the better.

    I've been there man, it sucks. I got drunk for a couple of weeks when my wife dumped me, then I slowly started to put my life back together and I came back way stronger than I was before.

    Lastly, imo once a woman dumps you, its over and you shouldn't try to get back with her. But if you completely ignore her for a long period of time you may potentially get her interest level high enough to have a shot.

    I ignored my ex for 2 weeks after she dumped me, and its wasn't long before she was coming to my apartment and giving me sex in an attempt to get me back (I almost went for it - that was a close one!).

    I have seen several of my friends get dumped, then continue to chase the girl. All the chasing does is make her run away even faster.
     
  6. Hunt

    Hunt Active Member

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    QFT
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Broke up with you on MSN? Sounds like a real winner.
     
  8. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Delete her MSN name, delete her phone number from your cell phone, delete anything that will tempt you to contact her. If she realizes she made a mistake, she'll come back to you. If not, there's no sense in pushing the ballot on something that is one sided.

    In the meantime, hang out with friends, drive, throw back a few beers.. Basically keep yourself busy and keep your mind off of her. It's hard, and it sucks, but we've all been there, and I can assure you it gets better. It feels like it's getting worse, but it will get better. Keep your chin up!
     
  9. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    that'a where I'm at now as of 1 hour ago....was about to leave work and the gf called me and said something like we have to talk when you come over.....I go there and she has all my stuff that I have at her place all packed and ready for me to take...she tells me I'm her first for a lot of things in her life and I make her happy beyond belief and that we are so similar in every way possible that you can imagine and its perfect, but the one thing we are different in is bothering her and thats what is causing the break up. She admitted that she doesnt want to take the risk of me breaking her heart in the future......so go figure, I just agreed with her and took my stuff and left while she was walking back into her house crying her eyes out......dont know what to think, but i'm cool, i'm not all depressed or anything ...we were together for 3 years and have been talking about marriage these past couple of months......eh
    :hs:
     
  10. D-FENS

    D-FENS New Member

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    What would that one thing be? Your stance on abortion? You're a republican/democrat and she isn't?
     
  11. bloodredsakura

    bloodredsakura New Member

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    Anyone that breaks up with you over the internet doesn't deserve you. That is really immature and cold.
     
  12. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    sorry about that .......forgot to include it, she told me it was about me not expressing my emotions every second of every day....she told me that i have this spaced out look on my face and i dont tell her anything about how i feel, which is not true....i express myself and emotions to her all the time, so i dont get it.....last time she wanted to call it quits, we did and (this was about 9 months ago) she stopped talking to me for 2 weeks, then she started calling me and wanting to hang out and like a fool i took her back....and now "BLAM".... i'm right where i was 9 months ago, feelings and all....i do admit i miss her and want her so bad, but you gotta draw the line ..



    ***were both 28 years old
     
  13. ia_cox

    ia_cox Active Member

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    How old are you? I just ended it with my first in December...still unfortunately in contact with her. I would suggest you do NOT do that; it will only HURT you for you to find out that she's out making out with other guys. Tell your mutual friends that you would prefer not to hear anything about her, and start to move on. Take everything that was specific to your relationship (gifts and stuff) put them away somewhere out of sight, and don't sit on the computer for hours at a time. Go and DO something, even if it's just walking around outside.
    If you do still want to be with this girl I agree with everyone...do not talk to her. Make it seem like this break up isn't bothering you and that you can live just as well with out her. If she's immature to do it over MSN my guess is she's just wanting to manipulate you...call her bluff and take it. My ex once broke up w/ me on facebook...with out me even knowing. My roommate saw it before I did. Needless to say I was pissed...but it was just a maniuplation thing, and I was a complete pussy and went back to her. DON'T do it, you'll only feel like shit in the long run. Find someone who respects you more than to do that to you.
     
  14. Spiritus

    Spiritus Active Member

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    Break contact.
    Conciously suffer.
    Allow time for your brain to readjust to you being alone.

    Yep. My girlfriend v2 years cheated on me, told me over the phone she fucked a guy this christmas. She tried to commit suicide over it, came here. Had me traumatized.

    It is a month later, and even though I suffered horribly last month, this month I am doing MUCH better, even though when I was waking up the other day I heard her talking to me (half dreaming). :hs: I dumped the girl, she came here for mental help and then I sent her ass back home. I still loved her though man.

    Even though she broke up with you, you still love her. She just does not love you enough to keep the show going. It is nothing personal, she is setting you free.

    It tears you up inside, you feel like: a broken window.

    It does get better, I have been in a worse situation then you I guarantee.
     
  15. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    all in all....even if she comes back to you after x amount of time admitting she made a mistake ....would it be best to just deny any and all future chances of getting back together?
     
  16. bandwagon

    bandwagon Copy/Paste

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    Yep.... it's over. For good. No second chances. If you take her back you're just communicating to her that she can bail out any time she wants and you'll take her back.

    OR you can take her back and be her bitch.
     
  17. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    This babe broke up with him ON THE INTERNET. That is not a sign of lingering interest.

    He shouldn't be thinking about any of this stuff, he should be getting over and past her.

    Even if there's free sex to be had, that's only going to rope him back in and mess with his head and heart. I've been there and it's no good at all.
     
  18. CoolKat

    CoolKat The OG Lurker

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    i know how you feel d00d, my gurl od 3 1/2 years broke up with me and she defintely avoided me at all cost and i tried to call her a few times the first week but gave up cause i know it wasnt gonna happen and listen to wut everyone has to say. get your shit back together.remove everything that reminds you of her it helps trust me. delete her myspace, aim all that crap. i recently found out that the ex is dating some d00d that is liek 7 to 8 years older then she is(she's 19 by the way) and her avoiding me at all cost has helped a lot as hell.

    you dont want to read soemthing you dont want to read or find soem thing that you dont want to know as i have and it sucked the first night but you'll be fine.

    when i would add the ex's SN to my BL list soemtimes to see if shes on she says stupid shit like oh life is finally great and how awesome this d00d is and etc, you dont need to read that shit at all. so delte everything and get busy working out working more, talk to ur friends wutever it is keep ur self busy.

    i started to work on my car again and start lifting weights and it helps out a ton. good luck man
     
  19. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I agree with what you are saying, but I stand by my post.

    I don't recommend that he try to get her back.

    However, if thats what he decides to do, chasing her will never work.
     
  20. seefu

    seefu Camel Toe!!

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    Thanks guys for all your advice... I just didn't come home for a couple days and now I'm over it completely.
    I'm still gonna keep in contact with her cos i still do care for her and would like to know how she's doing but I'm pretty certain that 'us' is over and I'm not even gonna bother trying to pursue it nor did I. just told her some stuff to help me get over it which i think hurt her too much but I'm pretty sure she's better now too so all good :big grin:

    So yeah, thanks all. I hadn't actually been home or anywhere near a computer to check for posts lol.
     
  21. assumedz

    assumedz New Member

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    I'm going through the same thing. Thank God for friends! They have helped me a lot. They also try to set me up on dates already. lol. I know it will get easier with time, but the question is just when!
     
  22. seefu

    seefu Camel Toe!!

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    One thing that helped me get over it quickly is actually saying something to her and getting a response. Once i was over the actual relationship bit anyway. It was a sign that she was OK and that helped me alot.

    You guys may think i still feel something for her and I myself am not sure but I'm OK with things now as it is so 'tis all good :big grin:
     
  23. DavMX

    DavMX New Member

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    :bowdown::bowdown:

    QFT!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Listen to this man. He knows what hes talking about it. Ignore her more than shes doing it to you. If she cares about you, she'll come back, if she doesn't, you know she wasnt the one for you.
     
  24. LongDongWong

    LongDongWong U can call me Mr.Wong

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    I need advice on how to handle this situation........my now ex, she broke up with me a few days ago........she has a cell phone and its in my name......do i just call her and tell her i'm shutting it off or do i just shut if off w/o telling her?
     
  25. CoolKat

    CoolKat The OG Lurker

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    just shut it off, i cancelled the credit card i gave to my gurl of 3 1/2 years like 5 6 days after i knew she wasnt coming back. if she wanted to she could rack up the bill cause she knows ur gonna cancel it. just do it right away unless she isnt that kind of gurl
     

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