SRS My fiancee and I fight a lot.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Lateralus, Nov 7, 2008.

  1. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Especially in the last two weeks or so, I've posted before about my issues with depression, and this is definitely a large part of it. What we fight about varies from day to day, I feel she talks down to me a lot, which makes me feel like she doesn't respect me. She thinks I talk poorly about her family, which at times I have but only when she was complaining about them as well. She told me last night that I've changed, and that I'm acting like an asshole now. I don't feel that I have really changed, I just don't cater to her bullshit as much as I used to. She grew up an only child, and has always gotten her way, and I've been starting to stand up for myself a lot more when it comes to issues I disagree with. I apologize for rambling, I'm just pissed off at the moment, I attempted to call her a little earlier at work to try to smooth things over and she ended up hanging up on me :rolleyes:
     
  2. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    how long have you been dating? living together? long enough for the "real person" to come out? are you sure this is someone you want to marry? either you're ultimately not compatible or this is just a bad phase caused by stress. either way, you have to figure it out with her before you tie the knot.
     
  3. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I don't doubt that we love each other, or else we probably would have both walked away by now. I'm just tired of fighting to this degree, it's exhausting and it's the last thing I want to deal with right now.
     
  4. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    We've been together quite a while, I'm almost certain this is happening because of stress building about finances and wedding plans. I won't lie and say I haven't sat down and thought about whether we were making the right decision, but I have always felt that we were.
     
  5. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    if you think it's just a tension issue, then maybe it's something that a few short sessions with a couple's counselor could fix :dunno:. maybe you just both need to learn how to deal with stress in a way other than taking it out on each other.
     
  6. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    Yeah I've been thinking about approaching her with that today, I've also wondered if a couple days apart wouldn't help. We both work a lot and outside of that our free time is almost entirely spent together in our tiny apartment, so there really isn't anywhere for us to escape to.
     
  7. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Couples need to fight the problems as a team, playing on the ball not on the players so to speak.

    What you have to do is simply 'refusing' to keep playing the blame game. All the inner problems have an origin in the outside world, instead of 'blaming' calling names you are this or that, you should have done this or that. Basically just say in a normal way' what do you want me to do ' then she'll say what she wants, then you just 'do' that, and gone is the problem. With woman its all about taking the stress away, by constantly asking what you want me to do, you indicate that you want to listen to her, and if you take action on that you'll take away the stress. Always speak in a normal tone, never shout. Don't make fun of her family even if she herself does, just say that you feel bad about it that her family does that to her or someone else and be done with it.

    In a good relationship there's actually always a healthy stance, keep your distances from her problems and keep staying nice to her.
     
  8. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    I'll start to work on that :hs:
     

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