SRS My EXGF's kid might have been molested by the father

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by l S3RG10 l, Apr 27, 2005.

  1. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Not really a long story but here it goes cliff note style.

    I dated a girl who has a small wonderfull daughter. The father of said child is a sad pathetic loser. He is 28, has a good job paying job (he lays tile), but he spends ALL of his money on drugs. He lived with his Mom before that and is now living with his brother and father. He litterally spends his whole paycheck in one day on weed and coke. He is covered in tatoos and is going no where in life. He hasn't paid child support in about 2 years. Last tiem he saw his kid was 6 months ago.

    So EXGF gets a letter from CPS telling her they need to meet.

    Turns out the daughter told her school mate she has a secret.

    A secret that if mommy found out, Daddy would kill mommy.

    He says she is making up stuff and that there is no secret. However he also claims he never beat women before.

    Anyone else think it could be molestation?

    How can we get this little girl to tell us her secret. She just turned 6 years old.
     
  2. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Well that goes without saying. However I am more interested in what people think is the secret.

    Besides jail houses love child molesters. I really think he wants to get caught so he can have an end to his sad pathetic life.
     
  3. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    HOLY FUCKING SHIT

    I jsut got off the phone right now with her, she just told me that the daughter said

    "Daddy said it's OK for him to touch my private parts."

    :wtc:

    Anyone want to help me stomp some face into a curb
    :x:
     
  4. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    I am so sorry to hear that. I hope he gets what is coming to him and soon.


    There is no place in the world for child molesters.
     
  5. ND379

    ND379 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2004
    Messages:
    76,776
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Invisible
    :wtc: You need to take her to counseling. She needs to sit down and act out what happened on tape for court. THen she needs to stay in counseling for a little while. I'm so sorry this happened.
     
  6. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    Grandgirl is right. She does need counseling but make sure that you get a good child counsellor.

    If she (the little girl) is not ready or willing to talk about it too much and is pushed too hard by the counsellor then it will lead to other issues down the road and possibly make her try to block the entire thing out of her mind only to have it resurface later in life.
     
  7. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    yes she will definatly get some good counseling.

    I just cna't believe it happened to such a sweet little girl.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

    Joined:
    Oct 8, 2002
    Messages:
    10,498
    Likes Received:
    3
    Location:
    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
  9. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    No counselling. COPS. Counselling comes later, when she's safe.
    For right now...COPS asap.
     
  10. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    Can't speak for Grandgirl, but I was thinking that he would already be in jail if not under watch by the cops.


    Honestly, I am just hoping the damage is not that bad. You said it was 6 months since the last time that he had any contact with her? Atleast she does not have to deal with him at this point. I, personally, would go ape shit on the guy. Then again I don't think child abusers should be allowed to live.
     
  11. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Working on it now.

    There isn't really anything that can be donw today, this is going to be a slow process. At least for now she will be safe.
    It just hurts me that anyone would actually do something to such a beautiful little girl.

    She just lost her first tooth today too.
    :wtc:
     
  12. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    You're doing the right thing in not going apeshit.
    This is a serious matter and as such needs to be handled calmly with a cool head and a steady hand.

    Ignore the pleas to go punch his lights out or smash his teeth or whatever.
    That does nothing, absolutely nothing, in the long run.

    You're doing the right thing in kicking this over to the authorities. That is the way to true justice.
     
  13. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    so I just heard back from CPS.

    There is nothing we can do about it yet, she has to take her to a therapist and see if she will talk about it. So now she is waiting to go and see someone and see what the next step is. Damn this is gonna be a looooong week.
     
  14. ND379

    ND379 New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2004
    Messages:
    76,776
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Invisible
    thats why i suggested taking her to a counselour right now. it will be a long process, but you want to take her to a counselour as soon as you find out. that way they cant come back in court later and say that you guys waited too long or anything like that. the counselor should have dolls and a video camera so that she can reinact what all happened. As soon as you get this tape, go to the police with the evidence.
     
  15. l S3RG10 l

    l S3RG10 l New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 21, 2004
    Messages:
    25,991
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    San Diego, CA
    Well of course, we are making arrangments for the little girl to see someone asap.

    It is still gonna be a long process, but this is the first step. :hs:
     
  16. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    Give her a baseball bat and tell her to go to town
     
  17. johan

    johan Active Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2003
    Messages:
    5,123
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Sahasrara; magnetic violet infinite
    I find your user name and your comments ironic.
     
  18. civicmon

    civicmon got all my game from the streets of california.

    Joined:
    Feb 23, 2004
    Messages:
    25,647
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    dca -> nyc -> sfo -> san -> phl
    damn bro you need a hand let me know.

    SD crew gotta stick together, ya know.

    I hate, hate people like that. fucking disgusting.
     
  19. marauder

    marauder New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 1, 2005
    Messages:
    2,144
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hope the sick fucker gets what’s coming to him in jail.
     
  20. Bean

    Bean Guest

    Good advice from the good people.

    Violence on this man isn't going to solve anything. Continue to keep the little girls best interests in mind. The counselor you take her to will be able to help you do what is next.
     
  21. Bean

    Bean Guest

    on a side note: Pedophile, I do not find your nickname to be even remotely funny.

    People that misuse and abuse children, especially those that rob them of their innocence, should have no place in society.
     
  22. Lokish

    Lokish New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2005
    Messages:
    153
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario
    I would like to point out once again that it is very important that she see a very good child therapist. Trust me when I say that not all therapist know how to deal with children appropriately. Some children don't want to talk and sometime they will try to force them to instead of letting the child start to talk about it on their own in their own terms.


    For all intensive purposes, a therapist will be a stranger to the little girl and probably won't talk about what happen at first as she might have feelings of guilt. Crazy as it sounds it does happen where the little girl might blame herself for all the anger/sadness that is going on around her, figuring that if she had kept quiet then life would have been the same as it was before. Child usually do not deal with stress well, so it is important for you and her mother to not cry/yell infront of her, yet impress upon her that it is not her fault and that her daddy did something very wrong.

    It makes me incredibly sad to hear that yet another little girl in the world is being put through this kind of trauma by some selfish/hurtful/ignorant perverse person. And while it is easy for people to hail to the call of kick the guy's ass, he does deserve it much more then maybe most people will appreciate, it does the little girl no good at this point. Just stay as calm as you can and focus on the healing process that is beginning. Hopefully, justice will prevail and he will find out what it is like to be on the recieving end of the wrong kind of love soon enough.


    If you want to talk to someone about this you are welcome to PM me.
     
  23. Lucky Penny

    Lucky Penny Mr. cut me some slack cause I don't wanna go back,

    Joined:
    Apr 24, 2005
    Messages:
    13,722
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    at your mom's house. be back later.
    i work with children every day and here's what i fund that works the best:

    A. get someone she's comfortable with (grandma, you, whomever, but just one person) to take her out to get ice cream.

    B. go to the park. play in the sand box.

    C. just start talking, start general. ask about her day, how she's feeling, talk about mommy and daddy. askes her how she feels about what's happening with them. (i promise she knows more than you think she does)

    D.be calm with her

    E. SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND LISTEN, WATCH & INTERACT. kids say ALOT. and often. and they just don't always use words.

    F. get her in therapy.

    have you ever been cooking dinner with someone, or have been doing some other relatively mindless activity and found yourself talking about things that would be too hard to talk about if you had been sitting face to face? that's why this works. listen and ask the right questions. don't be afraid to be direct. let her know that no one is going to be in trouble, least of all her or her parents. children get very worried about protecting the people they love. hence the "if mommy finds out daddy would kill mommy" comment.

    Ps. let her know how much you all love her. and don't just tell her. show her. she needs that the most.
     

Share This Page