SRS My ex still loves me...and I love her too.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Afanasi, May 20, 2007.

  1. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    It's a messed up story, I'm afraid, one which might not really make any sense, or might even seem to be a bit sad in one way or another. I was with this girl for over a year, and I've never fallen for someone so hard in my life.

    Basically, we broke up, she was very angry with me and she found someone else. I moved on and never was able to keep a stable relationship for more than a week. I have always been a wreck about her leaving, and it's been very difficult to get over it at times. It always sort of comes back to haunt me.

    Anyhow, she wrote me an email yesterday. She said that she was sorry for what she had done. I learned that she had been with that guy up until two nights ago when he cheated on her or something. I'm pretty sure she can't have sex...so I can probably see why he would've done it. She told me that she thought i had hated her this whole time, and she had hated me a little bit as well...but regretted it and missed me. I regretted our break up as well and it was partially my fault too.

    She still loves me. She told me, and that she still misses me. Truth be told, I miss her too, and I curse myself for being unable to get over her. An entire YEAR has gone by and I haven't been able to be happy, or get her out of my mind. Can you imagine what that would do to a person?

    So she's there, she said that maybe we weren't ready in the past, but maybe later we would be. Maybe that's today. Maybe it isn't ever. She thinks about the wonderful times we had together, and I do too.

    Problem is, she is living in an apartment with the guy. I don't know much about what's going on, but I am not too concerned with it. She also has bad health problems (cysts in her ovaries, and two bad car accidents in the past year).

    I ask myself: what would a good person do? I am about to move 2000 miles away to start a job and live with my friend in an apartment and try to scratch out a new life over there.

    Should I take her with me?

    I am thinking of giving her the options the next time I talk to her:

    A) If she doesn't want to be with me, we cut off contact forever and go our separate ways.
    B) She stays in the state she lives in, but finds a new place to live, commits with me and we eventually move in together.
    C) She packs up and moves with me.

    A really horrible and minor thing broke apart the best thing I have ever had. I would swear up and down on my grave that I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with her.

    On second thought, it pains me a bit that she has been with someone else. Apparently she wasn't happy with it at all. I have a feeling she only stuck with that because she had nowhere else to go.

    I am sorry that this is so long. I am really torn, depressed, and I just want a solution. I either want her, or I want nothing to do with her.

    I am very unhappy and want to be happy. I've dated a million women and I cannot stop thinking about her. Please help. Thank you.
     
  2. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    look man u love this girl she loves you yea u had problems everyone does but when u get a second chance to fix thing u go for it so in other words TAKE HER BACK
     
  3. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    I think you're right. We've had a year apart to realize our mistakes and think things through...she said she was willing to give it another try. I just hope it works out...somehow.
     
  4. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    I wouldn't waste my time in getting back together with an ex... they are your ex for a reason.
     
  5. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    me too bro me too:x:
     
  6. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    Whats the real reason why you two broke up?

    Yes. Some people have been through the same shit. Now the part of you not being able to be happy I don't get. I mean you loved her and wanted to be with her and you could spend the rest of your life with her and that's all fine and dandy. What you were doing over this year was trying to hold on to something that you couldn't have that's why you were having problems getting over this whole break-up.


    Thinking about the wonderful times is great and makes you smile and laugh but what does that do to help your future?

    No. You need to fix things if anything before you take her with. Why take her with and then try to fix things? If it doesn't work she is stuck somewhere with no friends and no where to go!

    That would probably be the best in this situation.

    So you would move 2000 miles away while she lives there and then she moves to you? Kinda dumb if you ask me.

    Is she ready to do this? Are you ready for this? Does your roommate want her living with him as well? Will you leave your roommate to fend for himself and just move in with her?


    I agree with you. She HAD nowhere else to go so she did stick it out with him.

    See where this could go. It could work out for the best or it could fall apart so fast you can't pick up the pieces. Just my two cents. Good luck. Let us know how it goes!
     
  7. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    for a completely shitty reason. we both wish we hadn't broken up.
     
  8. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    you make really valid points that make sense, and I don't really know how to answer everything. I'll just let you know that I am going to try my best by giving her these options, and I will update, I suppose, with what happens.
     
  9. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

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    I hope everything works out for you!
     
  10. Dorn

    Dorn New Member

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    It's a tough situation. However, I think with you moving 2000 miles away, that almost seals the fate, unless you're both completely strong and can make things work that far away. However, you're going to be going someplace completely new, and you're going to be meeting a lot of new people, and a lot of new girls. Who's to say that you won't meet someone better there?

    What would I do? I would stay in contact with her, but not commit into anything right away, or even for a few months while you're down there. Let things play out with your life, and let things play out with you guys. If things are great, and you don't find anyone wherever you're moving (and I'm talking you don't meet any girls that get you going, AT ALL), then maybe commit after that period of time. Don't screw yourself over a good opportunity though.
     
  11. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    She says that she would want to try again with me, but not right now because she is just getting over the relationship or whatever she got out of, and because she has tons of problems on her plate. Ok, so I said that she had my email address, and that if she is ever ready, she just emails me there. She said she would.

    I feel better. If it happens, it happens. If not, that's fine too. I feel a little bit more at peace.
     
  12. BStark

    BStark Well looky here. OT Supporter

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    Here's the thing: How are you not sure that she's not just using you as an escape? You said yourself that she wasnm't happy with it at all. If you were good to her, then she may view you as a comfort item. So you have to ask yourself, is she wanting you back for the right reason, or is she playing the "I still love you" card because she knows you'll fall for it and it's a way out for her.

    You two broke up because it's over. Let it go. Move 2000 miles away, start your new life.

    Eventually, and keep in mind EVENTUALLY, you'll meet someone that reminds you why it never worked with anyone else. You just gotta be patient.
     
  13. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    She gets cheated on and immediately wants to get back with you? Does she just want someone for the sake of being with someone?
     
  14. DubbyDoo

    DubbyDoo New Member

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    bro all things aside i have a had a long distence relationship and ite was rough even trusting her from the beginning and then she messed up cheated and it was down hill from there so bro cut out B. cause its gonna be a tough one trusting her with you being so far away
     
  15. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    I dunno dude, she seemed cool with not talking until she was more ready. I can't really provide her with that much support. What sense does it make now?

    As of now, she knows I have her blocked and her only means of contacting me is through an email. I told her only to email me if she wants to try again.

    But I will continue to do as I am doing...if she does want to try again when she feels ready I gave her the means to do so. She would have to work for it, of course.
     
  16. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    I asked her again today and I guess she would want to get back together at some point...just not at this very moment. She refused all of my options because she doesn't want me to be hurt by the fact that she isn't really "over" the other guy. I can understand that as they were in a relationship for a while.

    If she ever straightens things out...sure. If not, oh well. I feel better, at least, knowing that there might be some hope.
     
  17. BStark

    BStark Well looky here. OT Supporter

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    What I'm saying is, she's used to you and knows how you treated her. She doesn't love YOU, she loves the idea of you.
     

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