SRS My deal

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by tris, Jul 8, 2005.

  1. tris

    tris New Member

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    Weeeeellll.. ..


    I'm new, so, hello. :wavey:


    Oh, and this is my problem:

    I have a fetish, (That I'd rather not explain to some of you, as it turns out, by lurking in the 'freakyshiat' that some of you aren't so tolerant..:nono: ) That, and I have a friend that I get together with who intro'd me to this place, and I'd rather they didn't know, either.
    EDIT: Okay, a tiny explanation: It's a form of role-playing, more often loving and tender than most 'role play' types, but its subject matter weirds out alot of people.

    HOWEVER -

    That appears to be my problem. I really really want to tell people about myself --my inner workings and insecurities. It's like I feel I can't be "ME" (I'm still working on that, too.) around hardly ANYONE. The only people I've told about this were my ex (a good part of the reason we split) my psych --he's about as cool as can be, considering; and my most-longtime friend. (fat chick :x: ) I dunno, I guess much like anyone else's sexuality, it's very much a part of me, and if someone isn't aware of that aspect of me, then do they really know me? Are they really a friend?

    At any rate, I feel like I must constantly keep this 'on my sleeve' so to speak. I guess it's like an excitement to me --"Oh, someone knows!"
    The other thing is, is that when I've told someone, things start to go downhill between us, like knowing too much about Tristan is a bad thing. So, there's my apprehension in telling people, but, at the same time, it makes me want to tell more people! Why Am I so weird? ? ?

    Could this be my desire for acceptance manifested into an unhealthy chain of decisions? You see, I'll expose this secret to a friend, and feel pretty OK with it. Then I later feel guily about it, and in some cases, more insecure because I'm A) Afraid of the judgement, or B) The paranoia that they now have something to hold over me.

    So what's your guys' take?
     
  2. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    I think you are making a bigger deal out of it than it actually is. If you think its weird then other people will also think it's weird. Next time you tell someone, be confident about it and make it sound like it's not a big deal....you just might get a different response. Good luck.



    Edit: and now I'm curious. what is it?
     
  3. tris

    tris New Member

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    See, you can't act like you want to know --that's bad for me, because I really want to tell you! Grrr. You're part of my problem! :lol:

    Um, PM me if you'd really like to know, and I'll find a way to explain/show you.
     
  4. tris

    tris New Member

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    btw, I like the text above your avatar. inspiring and sentimental.
     
  5. Eris

    Eris Yes please

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    ...confidence in your sexuality and sexual behavior .... don't feel weird or ashamed of anything you like.

    not everyone is into the same stuff .... and no one should place judgement on you for what you like.
     
  6. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    PM sent. :o
     
  7. tris

    tris New Member

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    Yes, but, having a fetish that has the potential to spill over into a lifestyle, (thus making me extremely happy) involves surrounding myself with similar people. People I probably wouldn't get along with in other aspects of life. Although, that scenario does involve finding my true mate. . .
     
  8. Eris

    Eris Yes please

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    well ... you know how I feel about the situation ... no need to repeat myself here ;)
     

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